Episode Transcript
[00:00:14] Speaker A: I don't even know if I can do my normal voice today because I've been sick.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: You just got to go for it for a week.
[00:00:19] Speaker A: So here we go.
It's time. Time for the burning river sport. Cast. It's bitter cold outside, but the NFL playoffs are heating up as we are one week closer to crowning a world champion. Meanwhile, nowhere near the postseason back in Berea, the Browns think they may have found their solution to their defensive woes in a pair of dirty old gym shorts. Is he the answer to our prayers, our long awaited ass kicker? Or is he just a pair of sweaty activewear we'll break it all down for you next on the Burning River Sportscast.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: Jim Shorts. You got him in the opening segment. Wasted no time. Went right after Jim shorts.
Air quotes win, probability added, over expected.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: They all wop away.
[00:01:10] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
So soft. Just so soft. Hashtag flaccid.
And we're all drowning and going to hell.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: What did they teach you about water in school and the earth?
[00:01:25] Speaker B: They try to teach me that if I run the sink for too long, that it pulls all the water out of a pond and drowns all the fishes.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: That's what they tell you.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Good old gym shorts. How many people are on earth right now?
[00:01:36] Speaker A: Seven. 7 billion.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: We're lucky enough to be two of them.
Wow.
I like to call bullshit on that one.
[00:01:48] Speaker A: Welcome into the Burning River sports cast. Presented by Tapping Media I'm Kenny Thunder. Seated next to me is the world's foremost connoisseur and collector of ancient Egyptian burial rugs and financier of all time, bruce Willis box office stud, the Fifth Element, the immaculately conceived, red hot Ronnie Jams.
Ronnie, can you remind our friends, in deeply scientific terms, of course, where they can find our podcasts?
[00:02:12] Speaker B: Yeah, you can find our podcast wherever you get your podcast spotify, apple Podcast, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Amazon Music, Kindor, iHeartRadio Podcast Castro, and so many more.
[00:02:22] Speaker A: Is that as scientific as you could get to.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: I don't know, a scientific way to say podcast?
[00:02:30] Speaker A: You're not a directory. You're not a scientist.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: You're not a scientist.
[00:02:35] Speaker A: Fair. I wish I was one. Then I could come up with this. Whatever. I'm fighting, because I have been sick for at least a week and I've been miserable.
Outside of going to work a couple of days, this is the only thing I've done besides sleep for the last week.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Great.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: You're welcome.
[00:02:54] Speaker B: Anyways, dog, you ready to get gassed up here?
[00:02:57] Speaker A: I'm always gassed up.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: Sorry, I thought I was Randy.
[00:03:00] Speaker A: Whatever.
[00:03:01] Speaker B: What are we, American Idol for a second there? Yo, dog. Yo, dog. You ready to get gassed up?
[00:03:05] Speaker A: Have you seen him lately?
[00:03:06] Speaker B: Is he skinny? He's like, do you get real fat again?
[00:03:09] Speaker A: I'm going to put a picture up here.
Yeah, he's, like, scary skinny, and he's doing some dumb show where he plays one note of a piano, but he looks like a skeleton. Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon? And you're not going to not get Randy Jackson's autograph. Right, but anyways, what are we getting gassed up about?
[00:03:30] Speaker B: Here's the deal. Did you see ticketmaster? They've been under a magnifying glass in the public due the the recent disastrous issues when people try and get their tickets. There was Taylor Swift Bad Bunny last year, and now they were getting what was there, like, a deposition this week? Did you see all that going on?
[00:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah, they were having a congressional hearing about Ticketmaster this week. Yeah. This has been quite the snafu.
[00:03:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, what are your thoughts on the whole secondary market as far as tickets go for concerts, sporting events, what have you?
[00:04:06] Speaker A: Are you really going to get me gassed up on a political issue at the beginning of our show? Oh, yeah, the show is over.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Let's do it.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: It's done.
Come on.
[00:04:13] Speaker B: What are your thoughts?
[00:04:14] Speaker A: So first off, here's the deal. This whole thing is just a cluster bomb of epic proportion. There's three things. Three things? Three things.
When did the merger between Live Nation and Ticketmaster take place to make them the largest ticket holder in the world?
[00:04:31] Speaker B: When did it take place?
[00:04:32] Speaker A: It was like, right after we got out of high school, like 2009, 2010. And the hold up at the time was, ticketmaster is going to have cornered the market and there'll be a monopoly. And the government said, we're pretty afraid of this happening because if you own 80% of the market share, you're a monopoly. And they said, we'll only ever own, like, 30. And they were, like, stamped, we are. So, one, the government has failed you from the start.
[00:05:00] Speaker B: Fast forward ten years.
We've been graduated longer than ten years.
[00:05:07] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it was around that time the government failed you, as they always will.
And secondly, the artists have failed you because Taylor Swift isn't the first one to kind of go through this. Pearl Jam had a similar issue, like, back in the mid ninety s. And here's the thing. All these guys continue to sign big deals with Ticketmaster.
I mean, let's do some quick math. There was what? There was two and a half million tickets sold for Taylor's tour. So let's just call that an average ticket of $100. Does it seem fair?
What is that? Don't even do the cat. It's just buckets and buckets of cash.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: This is an easy calculation. 250,000,000.
[00:05:46] Speaker A: 250,000,000 buckets and buckets of cash. Lots of cash for a year of singing. Artists love it because they're clearing tens of millions of dollars. Venues love it because they deal with one vendor. And the cycle just continues because the government said it was okay.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: And Ticketmasterlive Nation just continues to get.
[00:06:03] Speaker A: Bigger and bigger and bigger.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: They thought 80% was the market share that Ticketmaster was going to have. Oh, boy, were they wrong?
[00:06:13] Speaker A: We'll come back to that in a second, but quick redirect. So it feels like a lot of the vitriol is directed directly at Ticketmaster, which there's some certainly, because they've let their product get complacent and sucky and don't have the technology to keep up with the market demanded today.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: Well, why would you make because why.
[00:06:32] Speaker A: Would you there's no competition.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: You have all the entire market.
[00:06:35] Speaker A: But to be fair, they went to the government and they were like, we'll be able to handle this for sure. And the government was like, okay, what else is their responsibility?
[00:06:44] Speaker B: Well, again, I go back to what you said at the beginning of this whole thing.
When it comes to government, our government specifically, the number one thing that comes to mind is efficiency. So I had no doubts that this was going to work out mean.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: But seriously, what else is their responsibility? They went through the steps. They did their job, their due diligence, they paid off Congressmen, whatever they had to do, and they got their deal approved anyway. The third thing, you America, you have failed yourself here.
You want to put Ticketmaster in their place?
Let the market work. Jim, stop using it. If everybody stops buying through Ticketmaster, what happens to Ticketmaster? Yeah, they evolve. They innovate. They offer the best product at the best price, because if you stop buying, they have no cash flow.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: If you stop buying, they will collapse.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: They will collapse. You want to hear good music? Okay, we can't buy tickets through Ticketmaster anymore. That sucks for a little while until we figure this whole thing out. But you want to hear some good music? There's a corner bar in every town across this country has local groups in it, guys and gals that can really belt it. They're your neighbors, your friends, your community.
[00:07:56] Speaker B: Hell, that's how Kenny made a living for a while.
[00:07:59] Speaker A: Yeah, chippendales, stop giving your hard earned money to celebrities and megabands that don't share your values, that have no idea what it's like to live and work in the real world and frankly are probably disgusted by your peasant existence. But they do know that if they put in auto tuned, pre recorded, semi concert, mega deal with 30 or 50 concerts out there, that you'll keep going, you'll keep buying tickets, and then they can buy a boat to put it.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: In their other boat, which is your goal in life.
[00:08:31] Speaker A: Well, sure, I'd love to have two boats, one that goes inside of the boat, but that's what we're doing here.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Put a picture up of a boat in a boat so people can see what you're talking about.
If they don't know, they'll be like, what is he talking about? A boat in a boat? That's a boat.
[00:08:42] Speaker A: You have a yacht, but then you need, like, something to cruise around the islands with.
You can't pull an 80 foot yacht into, like, a key so you need.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: A boat for your you need a.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: Boat for your boat so you can go transatlantic. One more thing. Honorable mention.
Big tech. Big tech has failed you.
I'm looking at you. Elon Bezos zuckerberg Jobs rip tim Cook zuckerberg's favorite pick. How do we not have Amazon tickets yet? Or Facebook shows? Or apple events. Or Twitter transactions?
[00:09:16] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:09:17] Speaker A: All of you guys at the forefront of digital technology that have the infrastructure to support digital transactions, digital currency, and are looking constantly for new revenue streams, you already collect all of our data and metadata and create profiles of us to sell our information. Why not collect more on our entertainment taste and our spending habits?
[00:09:34] Speaker B: Even if those guys not that I'm usually not for all of the richest guys in the world getting together and taking and joining forces and becoming even richer, but have all those guys come together and build a superior platform for us to be able to utilize.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: I don't even want all of them. I want three of them. I want them each to be able to do their own.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Well, that's fine. I'm just saying, like, even if they came together, then we at least have something to go against the 90% share that ticketmaster I would ticketmaster.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: So I don't want them all to team up. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the Justice League of ticketmaster. I don't want all of them to just scratch each other's backs. Like, you scratch my back, I scratch your back.
[00:10:25] Speaker B: Funny thing about my back, we can't.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: All scratch each other's backs, but who else has the digital prowess and capital to go to venues and go to artists and say, we'll buy a million tickets, we'll mark them up and resell them to users already actively using our platform? Imagine you walk into Rocket Mortgage, Field House, or Madison Square Garden, see Elton John, and you don't print anything out. You don't need to download a new app that has one measly purpose in its life. You just open up your Facebook, you open up your Twitter, and you QR scan your way into the event. Yeah, they have all of your personal and payment information already.
[00:11:00] Speaker B: It's true.
I'll say this. You mentioned the bands. It's partly their fault in most cases. That's true. I will give a shout out.
My wife's favorite band is the Foo Fighters. And a lot of times what they do with their ticket I'm not saying all the time, but a lot of times what they do with their tickets is especially if it's some sort of special event, is you can't transfer tickets, so once you buy them, you have to use the ticket. And if they're transferred in any way, the tickets are void.
Why can't more artists do that? In order to cut down on this ticketmaster bot buying up every ticket known to man and then reselling it to everybody for four times the price, because.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: Most of them care about their boat in their boat, and they despise you.
All right, they despise you. But anyway, back to our billionaire friends.
If any one of them could create a tickets app inside of their app, they could actually be doing something super valuable for the market. Provide competition, make money hand over fist. You have access to a whole new treasure trove of our data backlogged. So you can sell me more shit. Stop trying to sell me a pair of mannequin feet on Wish and sell me tickets to Air Supply next time.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Get so many ads for mannequin feet. You send it to me at least once a week. You're, like, trying to get me the mannequin feet again.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: Sell me tickets to Air Supply next time they're in town.
In addition, how about brand exclusivity? Imagine if Facebook sponsored Taylor Swift's Tour, and the only way you could get a ticket was through Facebook, and they did all the promotion, and you have brand engagement because it was the only.
[00:12:37] Speaker B: Place that any of it streamed or any of it did anything.
[00:12:39] Speaker A: You have Geofilters and you have hashtags. Facebook loves TSwift. Like, talk about platform engagement.
[00:12:46] Speaker B: Yeah, you're over there trying to build a Metaverse.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah, quit that. Make ticketmaster.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Why don't you make the Metaverse me in virtual reality going to the Taylor Swift concert? That I don't want to go.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: I just nobody else has the digital infrastructure or the capital assets.
[00:13:03] Speaker B: Also. Sorry, america. Taylor Swift and Bad Bunny. Those are the ones that you're getting worked.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: That's the ones that broke Ticketmaster.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: Come on.
This is why you get a lot of the blame.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: But here's what I tell you, is that if Facebook and Twitter did take on this mantle of I like where you're selling tickets, they really need to hire you. Yeah, they should.
Because you know what else is trending besides Facebook loves TSwift or Twitter tour 2023 ticketmaster.
I was going to say your stock price and your company valuation.
How has big tech missed a boat on this of all this stupid Metaverse, right? Like, the hundreds of millions of dollars that we've invested in the Metaverse money.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: On, and it's the worst product. Has anybody seen anything with that? It's so bad. Everybody that I know that even dabbles with that, they're like, yeah, that was dumb.
[00:13:54] Speaker A: Nobody wants it. I mean, the Oculus, in theory, is like a video game. It's fun for an hour, but your entire life?
[00:14:01] Speaker B: I don't think so.
[00:14:02] Speaker A: No, I don't want to live in the Metaverse.
[00:14:04] Speaker B: I live in the real world. I don't live in the Metaverse.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: Anyway, to put a bow on this ticketmaster thing, you know what we're going to settle for?
Because now Congress has their hands back on this. They didn't get it right 13 years ago or however long it was, but we're going to send it back to them. We're going to let them solve it. So what we're going to do. They're going to say, okay, well, you have too much market share now because you have almost 8% of the market.
[00:14:25] Speaker B: You up into live Nation.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: We're going to split you back up into Live Nation and Ticky Master.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: Mind you, Live going to do the exact same thing.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: They'll still be run by the same people. And mind you, Live Nation doesn't have now a platform that they've maintained or upgraded over the last 15 years.
[00:14:40] Speaker B: So you'll got to buy all the tickets.
[00:14:42] Speaker A: You'll still have one platform that's archaic, dying and aging, versus another one that hasn't been updated in the last ten years because they haven't had to. So you saw the same people running it, the same people making the money, and the same two platforms that just add to your bullshit user experience, poor customer service, and ultimately your frustration, because that's how government works.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Do you want to know a fun fact?
[00:15:01] Speaker A: But hey, nobody asked me.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: Do you want to know a fun fact?
This is a Browns podcast, so we're going to continue on here. I'm going to cut you off, and we're going to continue on. I knew I could get you fired up. And we'll talk more about that.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: I'm gassed up.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll talk more about that when we get gassed up started. Spoiler alert.
So it still feels bad that the Browns aren't playing, but let's still go ahead and get right into the Burning River Rundown.
Yeah, so we mentioned it last week in the offseason here. We've gone to the Burning River Rundown as kind of an all things Cleveland sports rundown of the latest and greatest.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: Cleveland sports news, Burning River Rundown.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: So we'll start with a playoff reaction.
Just it feels so bad watching the Bengals go out there and look like absolute world beaters.
[00:15:57] Speaker A: You know who the last team to beat the Bengals was?
[00:15:59] Speaker B: The Browns.
[00:16:00] Speaker A: The Browns.
[00:16:01] Speaker B: And we didn't just beat them, we humped them.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: Humped.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: But yeah, I mean, speaking of the Bengals, they did win again this week. We'll talk about that a little later in the show. Are you buying that the Bengals are ohio's team ohio's team in the playoffs? Air quotes ohio's team.
[00:16:20] Speaker A: I don't have a Joe Burrow jersey on. I got my DeMar jersey on. That's true. Look, here's my whole thing about this is that do you root for.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: I'm not here. I'm going to jump into this. This pisses me off.
They're a division rival. It's not like they're in Cincinnati and they're in the NFC, and they're not even part of our conference. They're a division rival.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Can you imagine if they win the Super Bowl? The kind of shit that they'll talk forever.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
It's just ridiculous. And we're just sitting here. Yeah, well, we really like Joey B, and the Bengals are in Ohio, so we need to root for this is not the case. This is the AFC North. The Browns are in the AFC North. We hate the Bengals. We hate the Steelers. We hate the ravens. We don't want them to win.
Like, I just don't understand this idiotic notion that because a team from Ohio that's nowhere near us here in northeast Ohio is in the playoffs, we have to root for can't? Pittsburgh Steelers are closer to us than the Cincinnati Bengals. Do we root for them every time they're in the playoffs? Hell no.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: And I don't even think you can fly to Cincinnati for a game. Like, you got to fly to Kentucky to get to Cincinnati. That's how lame Cincinnati is.
[00:17:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:44] Speaker A: It's just ridiculous. The last time I was in Cincinnati, I had to spend a lot of time across the border in Kentucky. And let me tell you, that wasn't a fun place to be either. Cincinnati is just an armpit, and you can say what you want about Cleveland, but Cincinnati is way more of an armpit.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: I'm not going to bash them.
[00:18:04] Speaker A: Oh, I'm going to bash them. It's a trash.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: Let it be known I'm not bashing their city.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: There's not a single good sports bar there. And the people there are they're they're less than Ohioans.
[00:18:17] Speaker B: They're Kentuckyans.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: They're Kentucky.
But we get the whole Joe Burrow went to Ohio State thing. Got his degree there, but he didn't win a championship at Ohio State. No, look, I can respect it's funny.
[00:18:32] Speaker B: Because coming out of know, people like to try and claim him as an Ohio State guy. And Joe Burrow even said, like, I'm an LSU guy, ohio State guy. Sure, he came here Ryan Day and Urban Meyer decided he wasn't good enough to be our starting quarterback when I.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: Think he got hurt and here's his hand or something.
[00:18:51] Speaker B: I mean, there was other circumstances, but it's oversimplifying it. I'm just saying, like, yeah, he's not an Ohio State guy.
[00:18:57] Speaker A: Agreed. And here's the thing. Joe Burrow has been fun to watch in his actually.
[00:19:01] Speaker B: And I will say I like Joe Burrow, and I will say as a player, when you pick out players across the league that you like to root for. Joe Burrow is somebody I root for, but I don't root for him to win, because I don't want Cincinnati to win.
[00:19:14] Speaker A: Yeah, like, I respect Joe Burrow. Like I respect Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or he's just a really good quarterback. Any good quarterback. Yeah, it's fun to watch him play.
He's a fun guy, too.
He's like Baker Mayfield if Baker were.
[00:19:32] Speaker B: Good trash talk and have an attitude, like a bad attitude. And he was actually really good.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: Well, just like in a press conference after a game, he'll shoot the shit.
[00:19:42] Speaker B: I got some good quotes coming up here.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: He's fun that way, right. So I get that there's a likeness about him that people will gravitate towards. But here's the other thing, too, that I think doesn't get talked about enough when it comes to Cincinnati and the Bengals and the Browns.
Two teams voted to keep Cleveland in Cleveland when Model moved the Browns, Buffalo and Pittsburgh. Cincinnati voted for you to leave.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:14] Speaker A: They said, get out of them all.
[00:20:20] Speaker B: F them.
I just like I said, I don't know where this newfound love I think it's just the bandwagoners to me. That's exactly what it is. It's weak browns fans.
[00:20:34] Speaker A: The leads are weak. The leads are weak. Fucking leads are weak. You're weak.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: Sorry to say it, but that's what you guys are. You guys are weak because we haven't won in such a long time that you're like, I need something to root for, so I'm going to hop ship and root for the Bengals while they're winning. Well, no, if that's the case, you stay down there in Cincinnati. You keep rooting for that team. Because we're with the Browns, come hell or high water. And it's usually high fucking water, mostly water.
[00:21:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:03] Speaker B: And we're all drowning and going to hell.
[00:21:07] Speaker A: Wow, what a start to this show.
[00:21:10] Speaker B: And we stick with the Browns, and we don't sit here and jump around root for anybody else in the AFC North.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: No.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: It's the Browns bust, and that's it. So go home. You're drunk. Get out of just I'm so sick of hearing everybody talk about how they want the Bengals to do well. Well, shut your damn mouth.
[00:21:29] Speaker A: Yeah. The last team that I want at this point to win the Super Bowl is the agree. Yeah.
[00:21:34] Speaker B: FML.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: FM.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: But anyway, sorry, I got going there.
[00:21:38] Speaker A: For you got gassed up there.
[00:21:39] Speaker B: Yeah, you got gassed up. I got gassed up. So let's talk about our new defensive coordinator. They did settle on a defensive coordinator. I know you mentioned him at the top of the show.
Good old Jim SHORTZ.
[00:21:50] Speaker A: I didn't mention him. I mentioned this is activewear.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: Yeah. So Jim Schwartz or Jim SHORTZ?
[00:21:57] Speaker A: We literally hired a guy whose name is Jim SHORTZ.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: No, but seriously, jim Schwartz. How do you feel about this?
[00:22:05] Speaker A: Look here's. I think Jim Schwartz was absolutely the.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Once you hear Jim SHORTZ, you can't hear it.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: No. It's like losing Shailene Woodley.
Jim SHORTZ was the jim shorts, was the logical, safe choice in terms of here's a guy that comes in with a lot of experience, has had coaching experience, led a team in Philadelphia from being one of the worst defensive units in the NFL into being one of the best has won a Super Bowl doing and obviously, I think if you're Kevin, you like to have the wisdom of somebody who coached for I don't know exactly how long it was alliance had coached seven years or something like that. But and he really wasn't super successful in that run. They were like 25 and 52 or something in that run. But he had a couple of decent seasons. But I just think it's a safe choice. I think he's a well, respected guy around the league. And so I don't have a problem with Jim shorts. Jim shorts.
[00:23:14] Speaker B: Yet you kind of hit the nail on the head. If you line up all the guys that they interviewed and you told me they're going to pick one of these guys, who is it going to be?
And you just say, okay, well, how much experience does every single guy have that's standing up here? And what does each person bring to the table? You just assume it's going to be that guy. He's got the most experience. He's been around the league.
Like you said, it's just super safe. But here's how I feel about the whole thing is I think it's actually insurance is what they invested know we have Kevin Stefanski and as much as everyone in Cleveland and in their organization tries to talk about how he's not on the hot seat, you brought in a guy with head coaching experience to be behind him. Not only a guy with head coaching experience, you brought in a guy that's known as an accountability guy. This guy's an ass kicker in a locker room and he comes in, he's real hard nosed, he's a mean MFR. He keeps players in line.
He makes them do what they're supposed to do. He's literally the exact opposite of Kevin.
[00:24:20] Speaker A: Stefanski, which is interesting because I think.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: That tells you a lot about the I to know. I know Andrew Berry, we talked about this last week. He sat there in the press conference. He know it's going to be up to Kevin, it's going to be his hire.
I like to call bullshit on that one because I think the organization looked at him and said, we have no accountability here. We need to go the opposite direction. And here's my other thing with it is, is it too late in Stefanik's regime for accountability? I mean, we're in year four here. We're talking about we need more accountability. We're talking about Jim Schwartz. Jim Schwartz. Jim Schwartz coming in here and giving us a culture change in year four of our head coach's regime.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: Can the defensive coordinator by himself change the culture?
[00:25:08] Speaker B: No, absolutely. I mean, no, he can change the culture of the defense potentially, but that doesn't change the other half of the team that you got to rely on. The other two thirds. If you count special mean we still kept prefer. So clearly we don't count special teams.
[00:25:21] Speaker A: And so that's the thing that bothers me is still, even if Jim Schwartz came in and was everything as advertised and did the hard nosed ass kicker kind of guy that comes in and really does put in an effort to change things. If your head coach is still man, I don't even know how to say in 2023 is still soft on discipline, accountability just in general. Just he's not a flamethrower, right? He's not a rah rah guy. So X's and O's, I have faith that he can do. Can he motivate people?
I don't think so.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: So soft. Just so soft. Hashtag flaccid.
[00:26:09] Speaker A: That's how we say it. Hashtag flaccid.
[00:26:13] Speaker B: Anyways, yeah. I mean, the one thing I did like is in his press conference. I'll ask you if you had any things that you liked that stuck out from the press conference, but the one thing that I really liked is he made it a point to know Miles Garrett as well as he's. Played is underutilized in the system, and I want to come in here and maximize his abilities and make sure that we're utilizing him the best we can and putting him in advantageous positions at all times.
It's funny because you just had Judavion Clowney. I don't know if that was a dig at him, possibly, but Judavion Clowney came in and said, we were always trying to put Miles Garrett in good positions. And then he got Jim Schwartz coming in saying, we need to put him in better positions.
But I did, like, know, you go directly at the captain of your defense and one of your best players on the team, and you say, this is the guy we need to rally.
[00:27:06] Speaker A: Yeah. Agreed.
In terms of the press conference, I'll be honest, I was a little underwhelmed at the press conference.
[00:27:16] Speaker B: It was kind of everything you expected to hear.
[00:27:21] Speaker A: It was things that I didn't expect to hear. The first ten minutes of the press conference were him recounting his days as Browns player personnel as a volunteer assistant for the first year, him being broke, some guy in Cleveland lending him a couch. And then the next ten minutes were followed by a story about how he ate Bill Belichick's turkey sandwich.
To be honest, anecdotes galore, I didn't get a lot of meaningful traction out of that. What I do think I think that those things were intentional, because I think they deflected a little bit. And here's my conspiracy theory for the day. I think that everything about the way they've introduced Jim Schwartz to this point has been to try to portray him in a way that can help him change culture. So we've already said that in this podcast. Ass Kicker, no BS kind of hard nosed guy.
Let's not forget that this guy went to when you think about the Stefanic Barry regime and the elite academia, is.
[00:28:39] Speaker B: That what won him the job? As he came in, he's like, hey, guys.
[00:28:41] Speaker A: He's like I'm an ass kicker that went to Georgetown.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: I went to Georgetown, and they were, like, sold.
[00:28:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, Jim Schwartz is actively known as one of the first guys to really grab a hold of analytics and start using them once he got into a position as, like, a lead coach or a head coach.
I think that not conspiracy theory. Not that I don't like the hire, not that I don't like Jim SHORTZ. I just think that I think the. Browns are pulling the wool a little bit over everyone's eyes because we've portrayed him so heavily as this hard nosed ass kicker when really he played football at Georgetown with Jim Gaffigan.
[00:29:21] Speaker B: Fair. So, I mean, I guess you kind of said it there. Overall, good hire, bad hire. Are we going with neither? It was a safe hire.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: It was a safe hire. And look, I'll say on predictable, on January, whatever date today is in January of 2023, it's a good hire because he's not named Joe Woods.
[00:29:42] Speaker B: I think we all can agree with that. Joe woods. Cyanara.
Next up here. I wanted to throw this out here because I just thought it was kind of funny. Kevin Stefanski this week was lauded by computers as the 9th best coach in a completely made up category of air quotes. Win probability added, over expected, they all wop away.
Yeah, exactly. So basically what this was is these computers and whatever thing I don't know what I'm trying to say. Whoever put this out there, the Sentient computers yeah, basically, they simulate every call that he made in each quarter on third downs, fourth downs, et cetera, et cetera. And they calculated his WAPA OA or WPA o e number. And Stefanski ranked 9th in the NFL at 18.7. Win probability added over expected, and this week nonstop. Stefanic lovers are saying, see, here's a statistic that shows he knows what he's doing.
[00:30:55] Speaker A: Yeah, we've been saying that the Browns for the last couple of years have been hailed as the number one analytics franchise in the entire sport.
[00:31:03] Speaker B: Listen, here's the deal.
This is a completely made up and analytics stat based off of probability simulations. There's literally no basis in real life.
[00:31:13] Speaker A: If you played Madden 100 times and let the computer play, what would happen? What would happen?
[00:31:18] Speaker B: Literally no bearing on real life whatsoever. It fits right in with the Browns analytics heavy front office. It's just like, what does the computer say? It says we should be pretty good. Well, here we go. Here we go again. Here's the deal. Wins and losses, when it comes down to brass, tax wins and losses is all that matter. These computer statistics don't do shit for them. So I don't know. It was such a funny thing for Stefanic lovers to go out there and be like, see, look at this stat. See, he knows what he's doing. He makes good calls.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: I mean, everybody that's anyone checks their whop away every day.
[00:31:55] Speaker B: Everybody. Oh, and by the way, coach that finished fifth in this thing, four spots ahead of Stefanic. Matt, what is this eberflus eberflus for the Bears at 32.2%.
You guys do know the Bears have the number one pick in the draft this year, right? Yeah, so just saying. To quote the late great all right, he's not late, he's just great. To quote the great Austin Carr, get that weak stuff out of just I just don't understand it.
[00:32:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Look, it's not even that we're at war with the analytics here. It's not we're comfortable with saying, hey, can we leverage technology to make better decisions? Sure. But at the point rounds, no. But at the point where we start making up statistics to try to validate our efforts, that's when you're in the government territory. Right.
Nothing you say is true. You can't be trusted and you're a problem.
[00:32:56] Speaker B: It's just ridiculous. But anyways, I just quoted Austin Carr, and speaking of the Cavaliers, we're going to move on from the Browns here. Cavaliers, they're now 29 and 19 5th in the east, still still second in the Central. They're a game and a half back now, so they're falling behind a little bit. They continue to struggle on the road. They're nine and 14 on the road, 25 at home, and they were starting to get healthy. And then Donovan Mitchell went down with a groin strain.
He's missed probably a week and a half now.
[00:33:25] Speaker A: Groin strain is a tough one because that's not one that's easy to heal from.
[00:33:30] Speaker B: No. Even if you come back from it lingers.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: Yeah. So that always makes me clench up when I hear groin strain.
[00:33:38] Speaker B: Any type of soft tissue damage is.
[00:33:41] Speaker A: Pucker your butthole when you hear that.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: Yeah, but anyways, he is supposed to like I had mentioned, we're recording this on Tuesday this week, and he is supposed to play tonight. So that's at least promising. Hopefully that holds true. Hopefully he plays against the Knicks. But in his stead, evan Mobley did have a couple of huge games and was able to kind of help us keep pace a little.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: What do you have the other night, 38 or something? The other night he went for 34, high 34.
[00:34:08] Speaker B: So we kind of stayed 500 while he was on.
[00:34:13] Speaker A: The continued growth and development of Evan Mobley is good. That was one of the things we talked about early in the season, was that it seemed like maybe he wasn't getting involved in the offense quite to the Clip that he needed to be. So for him to I think that's.
[00:34:27] Speaker B: Great for him to games like that guy for a few games.
[00:34:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Because it's just going to help him learn and develop confidence.
[00:34:36] Speaker B: I will say this, though, on the other end of that, what's a little concerning is Darius Garland just completely shrinks when he becomes the guy because they tried to lean on him for parts of those games and it did not work. And so they ended up that's when Evan Mobley kind of got lifted up.
[00:34:54] Speaker A: And I do think it's tough, too, though, because they've been playing so much one and two ball with him and Donovan. So when you lose Donovan Mitchell, it's just changes the tempo of your offense.
[00:35:06] Speaker B: I don't claim to be a basketball expert by any means. I'm more of a casual fan when it comes to the know.
[00:35:13] Speaker A: You're just an asshole.
[00:35:14] Speaker B: Well, there's that, but I know a decent amount about basketball. But you played basketball. I did for a while, but it's not the level of football knowledge that I have. So I will say maybe he's just I don't know. I'm just saying it was just an observation for the games that what are you donovan Mitchell was gone as Darius Garland played a lot worse than I thought he would.
[00:35:40] Speaker A: Yeah. So I would say this two things just out of the wrap there was they're still 29 and 19. And I continue to hear kind of this background panic.
I don't get it. The only thing that it's like, everybody's.
[00:35:59] Speaker B: Like, we need to make a big move, and it's like, no, just let them keep gelling.
[00:36:03] Speaker A: This is very much similar to the way that the LeBron teams went into the you didn't you had LeBron then, so it was different. I get it.
[00:36:10] Speaker B: It actually reminds me, and I said this earlier in the year this team reminds me of the Detroit teams of the early two thousand s and before they became the Detroit team that everybody knows they were just a bunch of guys that were thrown together that played solid basketball, and then all of a sudden, they gelled and took off and.
[00:36:28] Speaker A: Were well, yeah, I just think they're a real young team with a really high ceiling. And so I'm not in the camp of like, we absolutely need to make a move.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: Let's blow it up.
[00:36:38] Speaker A: And the only thing that I am a little bit trepidacious with at this point is the fact that they've played so much better at home than on the road. So it would be important for them to be in the top half of the seedings for the first round.
[00:36:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree.
[00:36:54] Speaker A: But outside of that, it's weird.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: You get like the top three seeds, three or four three seeds in the east, and then it falls off drastically. So if they could make it into those top three and be playing one of the lower seeds rather than getting stuck at the five and having to play the four or whatever that matchup is, yeah, they'll be much better off.
[00:37:18] Speaker A: If they can get a home game in the playoffs, that would be good. But at the same our they've been a really pleasant surprise that they came along as well as they did last year. They added Donovan Mitchell this year, and they're playing good, fun basketball. This team doesn't have LeBron James. Are we expecting them to win? I mean, is that the expectation? We can hope and we can watch and we can enjoy it, but hell.
[00:37:43] Speaker B: LeBron's teams don't even expect to win the championship anymore.
[00:37:46] Speaker A: True.
That's another story.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: Yeah. But in other Cavs news, here the wild thing. Anderson Verja was welcomed back to the team as a player, development consultant and global ambassador. So it was a pretty cool moment. They had like, a ceremony for him. I put the picture up here with his jersey and all this stuff and he came back to the team and he's always kind of hung around the Cavs ever since he retired.
But they officially brought him back and found him a place in the organization, which I think is cool.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Look. Who doesn't like Anderson Verajal?
[00:38:17] Speaker B: Remember when they used to give out the wigs?
[00:38:19] Speaker A: Everybody.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: I wish I had one.
[00:38:21] Speaker A: A wild thing.
[00:38:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:22] Speaker A: Yeah. No anderson's a good there's. If you don't like Anderson Verajal, then q. I agree. But I do like that they've kind of just made up a role for him.
That's kind of my goal in life, is for somebody to come back to me.
[00:38:38] Speaker B: Somebody loves me so much that they literally make up a job.
[00:38:40] Speaker A: We're just going to do what are you? You're the consultant of strategy and development.
[00:38:45] Speaker B: I'm the guy.
What do you do it?
[00:38:48] Speaker A: I do it so good for him.
[00:38:51] Speaker B: And then I know he isn't a Cavalier anymore, but we've mentioned him a couple of times already. LeBron James is projected to break the all time scoring record early next month. He currently needs 224 points to get there. And in case you're wondering, in his last five games in his 20th season in the NBA, he has scored 3723-3248 and 35. And it's just, it's I know people. There's the constant debate, who's the goat? Whatever. I don't care. It's so impressive watching LeBron continue to put up numbers.
Yeah. Even he's pushing forty s I know his team's underperforming.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: Um, they've kind of made a mess of everything out of and a little bit of it is LeBron I was.
[00:39:40] Speaker B: Going to say, I hate to say it, but that's kind of LeBron's mo. He comes in, he blows up the team, and it gets out of there. So he's probably going to be gone after this year.
[00:39:47] Speaker A: But I don't think he even cares anymore. Right. Like, he's got his rings in three separate cities, which is pretty cool.
[00:39:55] Speaker B: Yeah. And all those people that say that the COVID year didn't count, it's still a championship, nobody cares.
[00:39:59] Speaker A: I kind of think it doesn't count, but that's okay.
[00:40:01] Speaker B: But history won't see it that way. No, 25 years, nobody will even say.
[00:40:05] Speaker A: They'Ll just be they'll say LeBron won championships in three NBA cities, which is impressive. And he knows that he'll continue to stack up statistics as long as he plays. And he seems to be happy out there because he's got his business and his production studio and all that stuff out there. So I don't know that he'll leave.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: I know there's all these people saying he's like stat chasing at this point. I guess a little bit of it is that way, and even if he is, I don't really care. But I think more of it is just he wants to play until his son is a pro and then he's like, after that first year and I get to play with my son, I'm going to be out.
[00:40:36] Speaker A: Right.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: Because he's LeBron James. He does whatever he wants, and he's going to say whatever team gets him. That's who's signing. Me, too. And there's nothing you could do about it.
[00:40:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And you said there's so much made about the Jordan LeBron debate, who's the best, who's the greatest of all time.
I just think that that's such a oversimplification of both of their careers.
[00:41:00] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:41:01] Speaker A: To be able to say one's better than the other. I'll say this. I didn't get to see most of Michael Jordan's career because I was too young.
[00:41:09] Speaker B: We got to see Wizards Michael Jordan.
[00:41:11] Speaker A: We got to see Wizards Michael Jordan. And the end of that, I had a Bulls championship poster on my wall, and I had a Bulls literally, starter windbreaker jacket.
[00:41:20] Speaker B: Yeah. When they were making their big run, I was, like, five years old.
[00:41:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I didn't understand basketball at that time.
[00:41:25] Speaker B: That guy's pretty good. Space jam dope.
[00:41:27] Speaker A: So I'll say, for me, personally, LeBron James is the best player I've ever seen play.
I'm never and we're never going to answer that question of who's better, because I'm never going to see LeBron in his prime play Michael Jordan in his prime, and nobody ever will. Yeah. So it's just respect both of their careers and go, it's amazing what they've done.
[00:41:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. I will say to me, Michael Jordan is not the goat and LeBron James is, but that's just me. And I think a lot of it has to do with just the bias of me watching him play for so long.
I think it's just astounding that he's played for 20 years continues as much as people say he doesn't. He continues to reinvent himself. The sport has completely changed since he came into the league. It used to be big man dominated. Then it went to guards, only then it was back to big man. And now we're shooting threes all the time and doing all that. And LeBron continues to evolve and is still putting up those same exact numbers night in and night out that he was early in his career.
[00:42:24] Speaker A: Jordan wasn't putting up these numbers. LeBron's age.
[00:42:26] Speaker B: No.
[00:42:27] Speaker A: And he had, like, a two or three year break. Yeah.
[00:42:29] Speaker B: So it's just impressive. So I'll leave it at it's. Very, very impressive.
We'll probably talk about it again when he gets to the record, but that's pretty cool to see somebody actually break that record coming up here. And then finally guardians. We'll talk about the Guardians here. Guards Fest happened this week, and by all accounts, it was a huge success.
But I will say this one thing that I took issue with at Guards Fest, there were different paid packages for getting autographs. What happened to the good old days of just showing up at Tribe Fest back in the day or even just at the ballpark on game day and waiting patiently for your autograph. And maybe you get one, maybe you won it, but that was part of the fun.
[00:43:16] Speaker A: Do you want to know what happened to them?
[00:43:18] Speaker B: The rich got richer, and we just pay for it.
[00:43:20] Speaker A: Now they're gone.
Thank you.
[00:43:23] Speaker B: So, yeah, I just said. It just seems like every day the rich get richer and the people that can pay for this just kind of keep pushing the everyday people that actually go and watch these games.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: I wouldn't mind it so much if they would invent their own ticketmaster. We're back to this.
[00:43:39] Speaker B: Here we go.
But anyways, that'll do it for the Burning River Rundown.
Let me remind you of something here.
[00:43:47] Speaker A: Yeah, listen up.
[00:43:49] Speaker B: You need to call into the Burning River sports.
Burning river sports. Cast hot take.
[00:43:54] Speaker A: Highlight what he said.
[00:43:55] Speaker B: Look, call us. Tell us what you think about the calves.
[00:44:01] Speaker A: Gym shorts.
[00:44:02] Speaker B: Gym shorts. Browns. Anything. Browns. We want to hear what you guys have to say. So far, you've been pretty quiet, which, in my experience, Browns fans are the opposite of quiet. But apparently nobody has any grievances with the Browns. They love how the organization is run. They love the haslams. They think they're the best owners in the land.
So call us, talk about it. Let us know what you think.
[00:44:25] Speaker A: They have art model murals on their walls.
[00:44:27] Speaker B: 330-227-8080 I'm going to whisper because my.
[00:44:32] Speaker A: Throat is all gooped.
[00:44:33] Speaker B: 3302-2780-8033-0227-8.
[00:44:38] Speaker A: I'll let Ronnie do the yelling today.
[00:44:40] Speaker B: All right, so that's it for News from the Land this week. Let's take a quick revenue break and then come back and talk about the playoffs.
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[00:45:31] Speaker A: How small is the batch?
[00:45:33] Speaker B: The smallest batch? I don't know, but all their spirits are delicious. Go check out Topath.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: Topath. All right.
[00:45:42] Speaker B: That'll take us to the NFL Divisional Round recap.
So in the divisional round on the AFC side of things, we had the Jaguars at the Chiefs.
This game was a lot closer than we expected it to be. It kind of stayed close throughout. I know Mahomes got hurt, and that helped the Jaguars a lot, but it was close throughout the entire game.
[00:46:15] Speaker A: Chad Henny came in, led a 98 yard drive, and the rest is history.
[00:46:20] Speaker B: Yeah, like I said, Mahomes got hurt. He has the dreaded high ankle sprain. So it is going to be interesting to see how that impacts him next week in the conference championship game.
[00:46:31] Speaker A: High ankle spring is not the one you.
[00:46:37] Speaker B: But but yeah. I mean, one other note here. Travis Kelsey has really cemented himself as, like, one of the best tight ends to ever play.
[00:46:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:46] Speaker B: Like, every time I watch this guy, I'm super impressed. I'm just like how he's like the.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: Thor, but he can catch a football.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: He's worthy.
[00:46:56] Speaker A: He's so worthy. I'm not worthy.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: That guy's pretty good, though. But the Jaguars were in a really familiar spot to the Browns. You mentioned it a minute ago.
Everybody remembers us playing the Chiefs with a chance to go to the conference championship game a couple years ago.
And all we had to do was stop Chad Henny.
Well, fast forward a couple years.
[00:47:21] Speaker A: Can't be done.
[00:47:22] Speaker B: And all that the Jaguars had to do was stop Chad Henny and they would be moving on to the conference championship game.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: But alas, let me ask you this. I know it was only one drive.
[00:47:36] Speaker B: Jet Henny's too much man for any.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: Man to that the way that he came in. I mean, literally from the two yard line, like he was throwing and on the first play, they threw the ball out of their own end zone.
Does the confidence of that team, the personnel they have, the scheme they run, are we potentially overvaluing Pat Mahomes?
Like, if Pat Mahomes played for the Raiders, would they still be bad?
Probably.
[00:48:08] Speaker B: But he doesn't, so it doesn't matter. I mean, they didn't start having that success until he got there. They were actually not very true.
[00:48:16] Speaker A: But I'm just saying, what if it was could it be anybody that was there at the right place, right time?
[00:48:23] Speaker B: I think that Patrick Mahomes takes them to even, like, a next level. Like, could they be a good team and maybe a playoff team without him? Sure. Maybe with Patrick Mahomes, I think you get five straight conference championship games.
[00:48:36] Speaker A: I kind of want to see him somewhere else.
[00:48:39] Speaker B: It's probably not happening, so you can keep wanting all you want.
My mom used to tell me this. Wanting one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster.
[00:48:49] Speaker A: That's fair.
[00:48:51] Speaker B: Good old Cindyism for you.
[00:48:52] Speaker A: No, I just think that's a really like, they didn't miss a beat when he came in the game. It was like Patrick Mahomes was still on the field.
[00:48:59] Speaker B: I think more so than is it Patrick Mahomes versus anybody else? I think it's just the know we talked about earlier in the, uh, the Browns culture and how we brought in Jim Shorts to try and change the culture again. And it just never happens here. We just have a culture of losing.
[00:49:18] Speaker A: Browns don't have a culture.
[00:49:20] Speaker B: No, but they've created that culture of winning in Kansas City. And it doesn't matter who you put back there or who you put in any position. I mean, you saw Tyreek Hill leaves town and still phenomenal.
[00:49:34] Speaker A: They got guys that I've never even heard of that are it doesn't matter.
[00:49:37] Speaker B: Because they have that culture that they expect to win every game they play.
[00:49:42] Speaker A: Was Pacheco, Ohio on your fantasy squad radar this year?
[00:49:46] Speaker B: Yeah, of course.
[00:49:47] Speaker A: I'm great at fantasy football.
There was one other thing that struck me, really, after the game, was I.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Saw 27 20, by the way. That's what the Chiefs squeaked by.
[00:49:59] Speaker A: The Chiefs? Yes. We did think they would win by more, but the injury to Mahomes.
[00:50:03] Speaker B: Oh, and before you get there, trevor Lawrence lost for the first time in his life on a Saturday.
[00:50:08] Speaker A: That's true. So that sucks.
[00:50:09] Speaker B: Feels bad for Trevor Lawrence.
[00:50:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Maybe he'll cut his hair.
[00:50:13] Speaker B: And finally, we were both right on this pick.
[00:50:16] Speaker A: One thing that I found just interesting that came out of this game was that this win was Andy Reed's 10th win with the Chiefs in the playoffs.
[00:50:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:50:31] Speaker A: He's now the only coach to have ten playoff wins with two different ball clubs, to which I was kind of like, it didn't seem like an overwhelming stat to know. I guess it's one thing Indy Reid has coached for a long time. I guess maybe that's part of what that says. But the other thing that kind of says to me is, we've talked a lot this year about Jeff Saturday and these young coaches coming up, and just kind of the way the NFL has always been run.
This is the first coach to ever win significant amount of playoff games with two teams. But every year, as the coaching carousel turns, what do we do? We go, well, that guy got fired here. Maybe he's a fit over there. That guy got fired over there. Maybe he's a fit over here. Maybe we're just picking coaches the wrong way.
[00:51:25] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, maybe I say, that guy has ten playoff wins with that team. He's probably not doing it with anyone else, so let me go get some other guy.
[00:51:34] Speaker A: There's such a small club, and we've seen what happens now when you go outside of that club to do something that's outside of the box. You get Ostracized for it, you get Chastised for it, and I just look at it and go, is this really what's working for you, though? You keep bringing in a guy that got fired for not being good somewhere else, and you think, we'll give it a run here.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I think the bottom line is, what, they don't value enough in the NFL, analytics has creeped in. And for some organizations, we won't say who, it's completely taken over.
So analytics has creeped in, and you also just have, like you said, the close knit group of coaches and owners and things like that that kind of stick together.
But what they totally undervalue in the NFL is, can you lead men? Can you lead a team? Because you can get me somebody that doesn't know anything about football if he can lead a team and inspire them to play for him every week.
[00:52:44] Speaker A: And that's what I mean.
[00:52:44] Speaker B: You're going to win games.
[00:52:45] Speaker A: It just seems like every year we pick a guy that we know had a good scheme here, because you know what that guy does?
[00:52:50] Speaker B: A guy that knows how to lead men, he goes and hires a staff that knows the football side of things for him. He delegates properly and he rallies the troops. He says, everybody follow me into battle, and we'll do this thing and we'll win, and that's what happens.
[00:53:08] Speaker A: I just think it's so funny that we've pigeonholed ourselves so deeply and tightly into it's an elite club, and you're not in it. I'm not in it when all of these guys ultimately came from somewhere, right? Our boy Jim SHORTZ was an economics major at Georgetown, and he found his way. So I just feel like that guy in today's NFL. Well, maybe because it's Georgetown degree, but let's say you went to Miami of like that guy with his economics degree from Miami of Ohio is never going to get a look as a head coach or as a personnel. Scout or whatever because he's not in the club.
Even though he might be the best coach on the history of the planet. But you'll never know.
[00:53:53] Speaker B: Yeah, fair, but we digress. The Jacksonville Jaguars did not get slaughtered.
[00:53:58] Speaker A: I never digress.
[00:54:00] Speaker B: So next up, we have the Bengals at the Bills. Everyone was talking up the Bills before this one. They were my Super Bowl pick, so I'm guilty of that as well. And they had said that the game between the Bills and the Chiefs, if it got to that game, would be played in Atlanta at a neutral site, and tickets were already being sold for that thing. Well, Joey B had news for him and was asked about it before the game started and asked if he felt like an underdog going into this one. And he said, well, first of all, I never feel like an underdog. And then after the game, when they won spoiler alert, he said, well, they better go get those refunds.
So the Bengals came out, and they looked fantastic. Like, not just good.
[00:54:44] Speaker A: They looked fantastic in all three phases of the game.
[00:54:47] Speaker B: Oh, my. Like, it was a beat down. They put on the and you mentioned it last week. You totally called it. You said that the snow was actually going to help. I don't know if you said it on the show or texted it to me.
[00:55:00] Speaker A: What I said last week on the show was just that the Bills eventually were going to get caught up because they can't run the ball. And then what happened on Sunday, I didn't know that the weather was going to be what it was when I turned the game on and saw that there was a foot of snow on the ground, I texted you immediately, and I was like, this is not good for Buffalo.
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Yeah. When you would think, Buffalo being Buffalo, that it would benefit them. But the lack of running game, like you mentioned, I mean, Josh Allen's, their whole running game, right?
Yeah. I mean, it totally went that way. Joe Mixon was able to do whatever.
[00:55:33] Speaker A: He wanted to put up 105 yards or something.
The Bengals just looked really good. And what I found fascinating, too, was even throwing the ball, joe Burrow looked so much more comfortable than Josh Allen.
[00:55:45] Speaker B: He just didn't look phased whatsoever any point during that game. And they got pressure on him. They were all over him. He had to climb the pocket. Buffaloes sometimes got bad, throw the ball on the run, whatever, and he still just didn't look phased at all, even when you saw his face, like, when they zoomed in on him, he's just kind of like, I'm playing football.
[00:56:05] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, there's some guys that have that, right? Like, you get LeBron James doing the silencer. You get these Tiger Woods at the like, not everybody has that level of just you're in the yeah, but he's one of those guys. You can see it in his eyes.
[00:56:17] Speaker B: Yeah, he totally did. And I mean, look, like I said, they couldn't have looked any better. They legitimately looked like they were playing a JV team at times.
And you called it, man, the snow did the Bills no favors. And the Bengals, it was just one.
[00:56:33] Speaker A: Of those things that it was ironic. Right. And that's what I text you. I said, ironically, the snow in Buffalo is probably going to do them in, because you would think Buffalo, they love the snow. Bill's Mafia breaking tables in the snow. Light each other on fire in the snow.
[00:56:47] Speaker B: Bill's mafia did not disappoint. Go look up some of those videos from before the game.
[00:56:51] Speaker A: But what actually worries me a little bit and is the parallel that I would draw between Buffalo and Cleveland, because I think we always feel this way, that if we had a playoff game in January, at First Energy, we would be stoked, that we would feel like we have some kind of advantage because of the weather.
[00:57:09] Speaker B: I don't think well, with our team.
[00:57:11] Speaker A: Now, two, three years ago, with Nick Chubb as your primary focal point of your offense, yeah, maybe you have a $230,000,000 Air Raid quarterback now, and you insist that running the ball isn't valuable whatsoever. So I don't know how you're going to do that.
[00:57:29] Speaker B: He's the 9th best wins. Above.
[00:57:36] Speaker A: That'S, the stats. Kevin Savaski is good at the Weimawp, but I just think that worries me because now I'm almost worried about having a January home game, because if it's cold and snowy and we build this offense to be this.
Pro.
[00:57:52] Speaker B: If it's cold and snowy in January in Cleveland, we're throwing it 45 times.
[00:57:56] Speaker A: We probably will, and we will probably lose.
So, yeah, I think it's the same thing with the Bills. That's the type of offense that really Deepidesta has said, look at the Bills, look at the Chiefs. Well, when the weather is not good and you have a team come in that can actually run the football and Joe Mixon is not a world beater by any means, but he looked damn good in that game.
[00:58:19] Speaker B: The weather outside is weather.
[00:58:21] Speaker A: So yeah, I mean, disappointing effort from the Bills for sure, because they felt like they had everything going up on.
[00:58:28] Speaker B: The sideline asking why he's not getting the ball. Well, Stefan, diggs newsflash is a blizzard.
They tried to run you on deep.
[00:58:36] Speaker A: Routes all night when they got down two scores. Because I kept wondering, I should have put like, a parlay bet on this was when were they going to show DeMar Hamlin? Because kind of knew early on that DeMar Hamlin was in the building, but I was like, in a critical point in the game. They're going to put him on the Jumbotron because the stadium is going to go nuts. And it did. But unfortunately, whatever, depending on whose side you're on, I guess they put him up because they were down 14 and it was like, Guys, we got to do something. So they played the DeMar card early and didn't get much for it.
Also, you see people there's a conspiracy about DeMar Hamlin now because you couldn't see him real well.
[00:59:19] Speaker B: She's wild. The things people come up with, man, it was good to see that he made it to the game. I see you got your DeMar Hamlin jersey on today.
[00:59:27] Speaker A: I do. Support, support.
[00:59:29] Speaker B: But yeah, the Bengals won 27 ten. It wasn't even close. Kenny was right, and I was oh so wrong. And there goes my Super Bowl team.
[00:59:39] Speaker A: Feels bad.
[00:59:40] Speaker B: Yeah. With my picks being so good all year. My Super Bowl team is dead.
[00:59:45] Speaker A: That's right. Mine died before the so so the.
[00:59:48] Speaker B: NFC divisional matchups here. We had the Giants at the we do we even need to talk about this?
[00:59:58] Speaker A: Even?
[00:59:58] Speaker B: It wasn't even really a game.
[00:59:59] Speaker A: Look, the Eagles looked good, and the Giants, who are who we thought they.
[01:00:04] Speaker B: Were, look, Saquon Barkley was completely shut down, and his quote, unquote, elite quarterback Danny Dimes looked more like Danny Disaster. This.
[01:00:16] Speaker A: Was this was one of the only games that, I'll be honest, i, like, channel served during because the other games were all pretty good. I mean, even the Chiefs game was a little know, I always felt like the Chiefs were going to but even.
[01:00:32] Speaker B: Though the Bengals won handily, it felt like the Bills at times put up.
[01:00:37] Speaker A: A fight well, and you kept waiting because you know how good the Bills are.
[01:00:40] Speaker B: They could score in a minute.
[01:00:41] Speaker A: You kept waiting for that, like, six minute stretch where they put two scores together, and then all of a sudden, it's a game. No, but no.
[01:00:48] Speaker B: In this game, the Eagles literally did whatever they wanted the entire game.
The score, in case anyone cared, it was 38 to seven. So we were both right on that one.
[01:00:59] Speaker A: And no one deserves a playoff victory less than the city of Pittsburgh.
Just awful, awful town. They throw snowballs at santa, Pittsburgh, philadelphia.
[01:01:11] Speaker B: Philadelphia. They killed hitchBOT.
[01:01:13] Speaker A: Killed hitchBOT.
[01:01:13] Speaker B: Those sons of bitches.
[01:01:15] Speaker A: It's all in Pennsylvania, all of that stuff.
[01:01:17] Speaker B: A lot of cool history there. But you killed hitchBOT, so you're dead to me.
[01:01:20] Speaker A: Yeah. You killed hitchBOT. He made it all around the world.
[01:01:23] Speaker B: In case anyone doesn't know what Hitchpot is, it's a robot. A Hitchhiking robot that made it all the way around the world and then was curb stomped curb right there in.
[01:01:33] Speaker A: Philadelphia by a guy in a Randall Cunningham jersey in Philadelphia. Made it all the way around the world and didn't make it out of Philly.
[01:01:41] Speaker B: Unbelievable.
So that'll take us to the Cowboys at 49 ers here. Last matchup in the divisional round. And this one was much better on the NFC side of things.
[01:01:53] Speaker A: Yeah, a little, anyway.
[01:01:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Dallas and the 49 ers got locked up in a defensive battle. In this one, neither team could really get a lot going. But in the end, Mr. Irrelevant was able to stay turnover free while Mr. 160,000,000 threw two interceptions. That helped seal the Cowboys fate. And I don't know if you caught this or not, but after the game, dak Prescott was walking off and he threw his helmet in disgust, and that also was intercepted.
And in case anyone is keeping track, blake Bortles has still played in more conference championship games than the Cowboys have since 1996.
[01:02:31] Speaker A: I like how you wrote Blake Bottles autocorrect.
[01:02:35] Speaker B: Man, everybody got me.
[01:02:36] Speaker A: My favorite quarterback, blake Bottles.
Yeah. Look, this is kind of an all time bad scenario for the Cowboys. I think Dak Prescott's record in the playoffs is the same as Tony Romos.
[01:02:51] Speaker B: They ran Tony Romo out of town.
[01:02:53] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, they're both, like, two and three in the playoffs, and I was surprised that they couldn't get anything going on offense, but I think that just speaks to how good and how well coached that 49 Ers defense is.
And Brock Purdy, look, he wasn't as impressive this week as he has been in the last couple of weeks, but.
[01:03:13] Speaker B: He didn't make any mistakes.
[01:03:14] Speaker A: But he didn't know he didn't.
[01:03:16] Speaker B: And by mistakes, I just mean turnovers.
[01:03:18] Speaker A: No turnovers. He didn't lose the so I find it really interesting that I was hearing noise and saw a couple postings this week that Jimmy G might be healthy enough to play by the end of the year if they make it to the Super Bowl. No, I would find it.
[01:03:39] Speaker B: They will not.
[01:03:39] Speaker A: Very OD to bench brock Purdy.
[01:03:42] Speaker B: At this point, they won't. But anyways, in case anyone was wondering, I was right. Kenny was wrong on this one. Records were exactly the same for this round.
[01:03:50] Speaker A: Exactly the same.
[01:03:54] Speaker B: Three and one for both of us. Good job, buddy.
But here's the bad news. My Super Bowl pick is dunzo. So, Kenny, your Eagles are still alive in this thing.
[01:04:05] Speaker A: Fly, eagle, fly.
[01:04:06] Speaker B: My new pick, not that it counts for anything, but my new pick is the 49 Ers. That's who I'm rolling with the rest of the way.
[01:04:11] Speaker A: Their defense is good and their offense isn't bad.
[01:04:16] Speaker B: Christian McCaffrey, you're right, their offense isn't bad. But their defense is so good.
[01:04:20] Speaker A: Their defense is really good.
[01:04:22] Speaker B: They could shut anybody down, I think. And Bosa is playing out of his mind right now.
[01:04:26] Speaker A: Yeah, and he had, what, 18 half stacks this year? And Christian McCaffrey just looks like the life has been breathed back into his lungs in San Francisco.
[01:04:36] Speaker B: Change of scenery. But anyways, that'll take us to the updated playoff picture.
[01:04:41] Speaker A: San Francisco is like the most expensive place and city in the whole world or the whole country to live in. That's dumb by, like, not even a small margin. Like, a lot.
[01:04:52] Speaker B: Anyways, the updated playoff picture.
All right, so on the AFC side of things, we've just got the Chiefs and Bengals left, bills eliminated, Jaguars eliminated. And on the NFC side of things, we've got the Eagles versus the 49 Ers. Cowboys eliminated. Giants eliminated. Liminatet and so with that, we go to the conference championship preview.
[01:05:30] Speaker A: That segment, the last one is my favorite is my favorite segment. We have our own sounder for that segment. For us to say there's two teams left.
[01:05:39] Speaker B: The sounder is as long as the segment.
[01:05:41] Speaker A: Yeah, that's good.
[01:05:43] Speaker B: Anyway. So for the AFC conference championship game, we've got Cincinnati at Kansas City. Kenny, who you got in this one? I'll let you go first.
[01:05:50] Speaker A: Oh, man. I'll say this, I'm actually really sad that it's championship like conference championships because I've enjoyed these playoffs. It feels like they've gone by way too fast.
That being said, Cincinnati was overly impressive in their win this weekend. Joe Burrow looked really good to the point where I'm almost jealous of Joe Burrow. We talked about like, I'm not going to root for Joe Burrow. Like, I wish we had.
[01:06:18] Speaker B: Joe Burrow still respect the hell out.
[01:06:20] Speaker A: Of great, great quarterback and the way they ran the ball and, like, Eli Apple out of nowhere is like a lockdown.
[01:06:28] Speaker B: He finally decided he was going to learn how to play football.
He's been a liability everywhere he's gone, but all of a sudden, it was time.
[01:06:37] Speaker A: He's done a good job there. I'm still not a huge believer in Zach Taylor is this guy an elite head coach in the NFL, but he.
[01:06:45] Speaker B: Was nowhere near the top. And whoppaway.
[01:06:48] Speaker A: He's not a wee map.
But that being said, I think cincinnati played so well. They have all the momentum. Kansas City with Patrick Mahomes, he's got the dreaded high ankle sprain.
I think that Chad Henny probably could play.
[01:07:06] Speaker B: You might find out enough you might be able to find out if it's Pat Mahomes or if it's I mean.
[01:07:13] Speaker A: Can you imagine if you found out that Pat Mahomes was just ass and you paid him 10,000,010 years for 450.
[01:07:20] Speaker B: Yards and four touchdowns the next game.
[01:07:21] Speaker A: And then he goes out and he's just hanging with Baker Mayfield? Man anyway, I'm going to go Cincinnati over Kansas City for all those reasons.
[01:07:29] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, for the same reasons I have Cincinnati. I'll keep it short and sweet.
The simple fact that Pat Mahomes is battling a high ankle sprain, that's all.
[01:07:38] Speaker A: I need to is this is this is go time, right?
For all the marbles. Everybody has to kind of nut up.
[01:07:50] Speaker B: And he's going to try and I predict he's going to fail miserably. And I just think and there's nothing he can really do about that. It's a high ankle sprain. It's not an easy injury.
[01:07:59] Speaker A: These are the types of games that come down to who has the better quarterback. I think up until this point, we've seen a lot of quarterbacks that you're you're not they're not great, but they have a good team around them.
Your quarterback has to be playing well.
[01:08:12] Speaker B: To get you here, which actually leads into this next game very well. So we've got for the NFC Conference Championship, we've got the 49 ers at the Eagles. We've got a quarterback that's come on of late, but on the other side, you've got a quarterback that's played very well all year long. And just you look at it on paper and Jalen Hurts is far superior to Brock Purdy.
[01:08:34] Speaker A: Sure.
[01:08:35] Speaker B: But with that being said, I'm actually taking the 49 ers in this because I believe in their defense so much and what Bosa has been able to do, what their front seven has been able to do, and just kind of shut everybody down. I like the 49 ers. They're running a hot streak. They actually remind me of last year's Bagels, where they came in and they just got really hot at the right time. And I like the 49 ers in this one. Man.
You don't. Because the Eagles your Super Bowl pick.
[01:09:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I have to pick the Eagles because they're my Super Bowl pick. But I would not be surprised to see the 49 ers win. I think this is a pickup game. This is as close to a Pickham game as we've seen during these playoffs because I think both of these teams are the absolute class of their conference. And I think they both can run the ball. They both can play good defense. They both have look, I don't know what Brock Purdy is, but right now, Brock Purdy has been really good. So they both have let's call them good quarterbacks. So I'm going to pick the Eagles by default because I picked them heading into this thing. But I think this is anybody's game, to be quite honest.
[01:09:41] Speaker B: Fair.
So that'll do it for the Conference Championship preview. Now I want to talk to you about the Burning River Sports guest hot takeout line.
[01:09:50] Speaker A: Hot takeout line.
[01:09:52] Speaker B: Listen, call us. Talk to us. Talk to us about anything. Tell us a story. Tell us what your favorite movie is. Tell us what your favorite TV show is. Or talk to us about the Browns calves or guardians. We want to hear it all. We want to put you on air. But if it's really bad, we probably won't put you on air. So make it entertaining.
[01:10:09] Speaker A: If you're really cool, we might even call you back and play like a cool game with you and give away running over sports cast merch.
[01:10:16] Speaker B: Yeah, we could. Who knows?
[01:10:17] Speaker A: It's going to be a long, you.
[01:10:19] Speaker B: Know, we could do anything.
[01:10:20] Speaker A: It's our show. We make the rules.
[01:10:23] Speaker B: Yep. So in closing here Kenny 3302-2780-8033-02 27.
[01:10:30] Speaker A: 80, 80, 33 02-2780-8033-0227, 80 80.
[01:10:39] Speaker B: Call us now.
[01:10:40] Speaker A: Put WAP away.
[01:10:41] Speaker B: So, Kenny.
[01:10:43] Speaker A: Yes, sir.
[01:10:44] Speaker B: I was getting fired up for this, but now I'm calm again. What can we expect next week?
[01:10:50] Speaker A: What can we expect next week? So we'll recap the Conference Championship weekend, obviously. I know this is a weekend that really screws everyone's schedules because kind of like Sunday, I think the games are like three and six. So your natural circadian rhythm to get up at one and watch football, not going to work out. But we will recap both Conference Championship games, and we will preview our Super Bowl matchup. Probably talk a little bit about the Pro Bowl festivities, I guess.
And then lame ass, we will cover any Browns news, including pending free agent discussions and other Cleveland sports news.
[01:11:32] Speaker B: Nice.
That sounds like a good show.
[01:11:35] Speaker A: It's the best show. It's unofficially the officially the best show.
[01:11:40] Speaker B: Yeah. So on social media, check us out. Tap in media is on Facebook and Twitter at the Tapin media. And they are on Instagram at Tapin media official and Burning River Sportscast. That's this podcast that you're listening to right now. We're on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube at Burning River Sportscast and on Twitter at Burning River pod. And don't forget, you can find the podcast wherever you get your podcasts. We're talking Apple podcasts. Spotify. Google Podcasts. Amazon Music. Stitcher pandora. iHeartRadio Podcast Castro. And so many more.
Kenny, you got some facts for me? Facts for Days, is that what the segment's called now?
[01:12:18] Speaker A: It's officially facts.
[01:12:19] Speaker B: Our closing segment is now called Facts.
[01:12:20] Speaker A: For Days because you never know how many days it'll take to get through them.
So I've been reading a lot about just like the end of the world and stuff.
Find it fascinating where we're headed? Headed for doom.
[01:12:38] Speaker B: The end is nigh.
[01:12:39] Speaker A: One of the things that I've been reading about is, like, DNA mapping, genetic sequencing, genome sequencing.
[01:12:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that stuff's wild.
[01:12:51] Speaker A: And what I found recently is that the total possible combination of alleles that makes a DNA back to high school biology class, G-A-T-A-C-A-S in humans, Punnett squares. The total possible combination. Not Punnett squares. That's Gregory Mendel. That's different.
[01:13:16] Speaker B: Similar, but different. I know what you're talking about.
[01:13:19] Speaker A: But anyway, what I was interested in was the fact that as a human, we're different, right. What makes us different?
Our DNA combination.
[01:13:31] Speaker B: We are human.
[01:13:33] Speaker A: You start getting into genome mapping more, and you start to realize there's a finite number of combinations based on just a simple math of how big the structures are.
And there are approximately 70,400,000,000,000 different combinations, so not so many of DNA.
So that accounts for the facts, for differences in every human outside of monozygotic twins that's ever lived. Right.
But what happens when we get to the end of that number? Right? You have 70 trillion.
[01:14:21] Speaker B: I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not sure what happens, but I think you're going to tell me.
[01:14:25] Speaker A: Well, I think what happens is you.
[01:14:28] Speaker B: Don'T have a fact for this.
[01:14:29] Speaker A: No, the fact is that there's 70 trillion combinations. And the fact is that in a lot of years, far from now, when we're dead, we literally us will be repeated. Might be repeated.
[01:14:43] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
So you're talking about mapping the genome and being able to manipulate DNA. What happens when they figure out how to map the entire thing and they say, you know what, let's just create the same thing twice and see what happens?
[01:14:59] Speaker A: If they map your DNA, they won't make you ever again.
[01:15:04] Speaker B: Would those two be exactly the same or would somehow they come out different?
[01:15:08] Speaker A: They would be the exact same.
[01:15:10] Speaker B: But would they?
[01:15:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Like monozygotic twins? Yeah, but would they? They would because the DNA says so. All right. They would have to be exactly the same in every way.
[01:15:21] Speaker B: DNA is wild, man.
[01:15:23] Speaker A: So the good news is you probably won't run into a doppelganger twin anytime soon, because 70 trillion is a lot of combinations. And by my count, and yes, I did count them all, only about 108,000,000,000 people have ever lived on Earth. So we're literally at the like, 1% of all the possible genome combinations.
[01:15:50] Speaker B: Say that number again. Total number of people ever lived, 108,000,000,000. How many people are on Earth right now?
[01:15:56] Speaker A: Seven. 7 billion.
[01:16:00] Speaker B: We're lucky enough to be two of them.
Wow. And we're both married, and I have a kid. And you've got one on the way. This is incredible news.
That was the best fact of all. How are we not viral?
[01:16:15] Speaker A: I don't know. But just know that you, my friend, in all your glory, could be born again someday in more ways than one.
Born again scientologist.
[01:16:26] Speaker B: What's next?
Because that was just one fact we.
[01:16:30] Speaker A: Got facts for days here at the Burning River. Sportscast, when you think of Egypt, what do you think of pyramids? Pyramids and pharaohs. This is going back to pyramids. People will associate commonly pyramids with Egypt. But did you know Egypt?
[01:16:44] Speaker B: Ancient Mesopotamia?
[01:16:47] Speaker A: What you just said is one of the most insanely, idiotic things I have ever heard.
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Egypt doesn't even have the most pyramids in the entire world.
[01:17:16] Speaker B: Where does?
[01:17:17] Speaker A: Sudan.
Egypt. You seem disappointed.
[01:17:21] Speaker B: Go on.
[01:17:22] Speaker A: Egypt has around 100 and 3140 pyramids that have been discovered. Sudan, though, boasts 255 discovered pyramids.
[01:17:35] Speaker B: They have at least two times the number of pyramids that Egypt has.
[01:17:41] Speaker A: Just about. But no one says, I'm going to Sudan for the pyramids. Now, that might be because of the guerrilla warfare, just general civil unrest joke about, but that may be the know, crime, terrorism, kidnapping, armed conflict, all those things. But it just seemed OD to me that there are so many pyramids in the Sudan and no one talks about going to the Sudan. Yeah, a lot of pyramids in South America, too. Yes, those are different types of pyramids, step pyramids. We can talk about those someday because I have a keen appreciation for the civilizations and the histories of the Incas and the Aztecs and the Mayans. But those aren't part of our facts for today.
This last fact, the most important fact of all. What is it? Well, not the most important fact of all facts, because of any fact.
[01:18:33] Speaker B: That ever facted.
[01:18:34] Speaker A: That would be the end of the show.
Last week we talked about peeing in the sink and how important that is.
[01:18:40] Speaker B: We did. I tried it this week.
[01:18:41] Speaker A: How'd it go?
[01:18:42] Speaker B: It was green.
[01:18:44] Speaker A: So green.
We talked about water being a precious resource on Earth, kind of jokingly, like, Protect Earth's resources. Water is wind.
Did you know? Because in school they teach you what.
[01:19:10] Speaker B: Do they teach you?
[01:19:12] Speaker A: What do they teach you about water in school and the Earth?
[01:19:15] Speaker B: They try to teach me that if I run the sink for too long, that it pulls all the water out of a pond and it drowns all the fishes.
[01:19:21] Speaker A: That's what they tell you in school.
[01:19:22] Speaker B: There's a video on it when I was in school, like, don't waste water while you're brushing your teeth because this fish will die over here.
[01:19:28] Speaker A: Did they talk about ratios when you were in school, how much water there is? Yeah, it's a lot, right?
[01:19:34] Speaker B: There's a lot of water.
[01:19:35] Speaker A: So in school, you're taught the ratio.
[01:19:36] Speaker B: Of water on Earth.
[01:19:40] Speaker A: Over 70% water. Right. But while the planet is covered in water, humans can only access about 1% of that water.
[01:19:54] Speaker B: Feels bad. It feels like they should access more.
[01:19:58] Speaker A: That's because only about two and a half percent of all the water on Earth is freshwater.
And less than 1% of that is what's accessible because the rest is tied up in glaciers and snowfields.
So even if they wanted to be accessible to it, you can't. It's just permafrost.
[01:20:19] Speaker B: That's a low number.
[01:20:20] Speaker A: It's a low number. So half a percent of the Earth's water really is what's available for fresh water.
[01:20:29] Speaker B: That's pretty mind blowing.
[01:20:30] Speaker A: So to think about this in another way. If the world's water supply were 100 liters and we're in America, so let's call that what that is. 26 gallons.
[01:20:45] Speaker B: Which gallons don't make any sense. What the hell are we thinking with gallons?
[01:20:49] Speaker A: If you had 26 gallons, that would represent all the water on Earth.
The water that is accessible for us to drink is one half teaspoon.
[01:21:03] Speaker B: Wow.
That's incredible.
[01:21:06] Speaker A: Incredible fact. See?
Yeah.
[01:21:12] Speaker B: How do we live, right?
[01:21:14] Speaker A: I started asking myself the same question.
[01:21:17] Speaker B: How do we live?
[01:21:18] Speaker A: I was like, I'm going to start being in the sink.
This frightened me.
[01:21:24] Speaker B: I'm so scared of the end times now.
We're going to run out of water in our lifetime.
[01:21:30] Speaker A: If you run out of water, that'll be a problem. But don't just be a part of the problem. Be the whole damn problem.
[01:21:36] Speaker B: Speaking of water, only you can prevent river fires.
[01:21:42] Speaker A: Oh, burning river sports I can't scream tonight burning river sportscast I'm surprised that I made it through this whole podcast with my voice.
Burning river out keep screaming, Cleveland.
[01:21:58] Speaker B: Burning river out burning river burning river.
[01:22:03] Speaker A: You know why, Mr? Because you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight. I drove an $80,000 BMW. That's my name. 3302-2780-8033-0227-808.
See that black smudge right there on the blade? Yeah. Look at it closely. Pretty recognizable signature. No? Randy Jackson from American Idol. Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial arts Whipman?
[01:22:32] Speaker B: That's a wrap.
[01:22:33] Speaker A: I was going to do a funny thing with the bottle, but you turned it off. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
[01:22:47] Speaker B: Okay?
[01:22:47] Speaker A: A simple wrong would have done just fine. But.
[01:22:57] Speaker B: Today'S episode was brought to you by Topath Vodka. Topath Vodka. An ultra premium, extremely smooth, high quality vodka six times distilled and made from midwest corn and Ohio fruit. Clean and crisp. A truly high quality spirit. Made right here in northeast Ohio. Topath Vodka.
