Episode Transcript
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[00:01:10] Speaker B: It'S time time for the Burning River Sportscast.
Another season of fun, friends, and is upon us as the Browns wrap up their off season and transition into a live action role play of your favorite football team. LARP Week 0 and things already don't look good. As the old adage says, if you have four quarterbacks, you have a lot of quarterbacks.
Franchise favorite Nicholas Jamal Chubb is getting bigger in Texas. Players are getting arrested so frequently that even Jimmy Haslam is extremely frustrated. Larceny is the only crime we condone around these parts, miles said. It's not stealing if you threaten to retire. But hey, at least the early part of the schedule looks like a cakewalk. What should be a time of optimism and hope feels a lot like walking into the Battle of Hastings. And we're not the Duke of Norman Normandy. But that's why we're here, right? To languish, to lament, and try to find any shred of anything to hold on to that makes us believe one more time in the possibility of prosperity along the lakeshore. And we'll break it all down for you. Next on the Burning river sportscast.
Down 60 pounds, but I'm still fat.
[00:02:27] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: Hawk Hogan, obviously just immortal no more. But.
[00:02:36] Speaker B: It'S cool to be from Cleveland.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: I mean, I agree with you, but Midwest? Yeah.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Beef, corn, Beef.
[00:02:45] Speaker A: One. Why do we have Kenny Pickett?
[00:02:49] Speaker B: And meanwhile, the reports every day are Dylan Gabriel sucks every day. He's getting smaller as we go.
[00:02:56] Speaker A: He actually shrank two inches since he's been in.
[00:03:03] Speaker B: He's lost 30 pounds since May and he's still 464 pounds.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: Nice.
That's a man.
[00:03:13] Speaker C: So is. Was Cleveland what you expected?
And he's like, so yeah, I got here.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: I was born here.
Well, it's Middle Earth.
[00:03:28] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it's Middle Earth. You know.
This new nurse came in and the first thing he did was he had to wipe my ass.
And I looked at him And I said, ah, real power move, huh?
[00:03:46] Speaker B: I honestly am flabbergasted.
[00:03:48] Speaker C: Yeah, you can't do that.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: You can't do that.
[00:03:52] Speaker C: Can't do that.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: Your immediate instinct was you shouldn't have felt that way.
You shouldn't have established a dominance.
[00:04:01] Speaker A: Yeah, gangster, right?
[00:04:06] Speaker B: I can't do this.
Show's over. Show's over.
Welcome in to the Burning River Sportscast, presented by the fine folks at Tabit Media. I'm Kenny Thunder, joined today by my good friend and counterpart who was once an ugly duck and now he's just ugly. He's red hot. Ronnie Jams.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: That's up, man.
[00:04:30] Speaker B: In better news, the Bone man is back from seminary with his expert quips and intuitive religious insights to cover all the theocratic happenings inside the Browns locker room. Bone, how's your vow of celibacy going?
[00:04:43] Speaker C: Ah, man, it's not going well.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: She's having so much sex.
It's not going well.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: It ain't good. See that?
[00:04:54] Speaker B: Coming back to red.
Where can our listeners find the dopest dope they ever heard on podcast? Number one ranked football podcast and all the good pods as well is the unofficial podcast.
[00:05:04] Speaker A: I like how Cleveland Brown back is everywhere somehow in the official podcast of some Cleveland Brown backers somewhere. I like how he became a number one football podcast on good pods. And half the time we don't even talk about football.
We dabble. We dabble. Now you can find a podcast wherever you get your podcast. I'm talking Apple podcast, Spotify, stitcher, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora, iHeartRadio podcast, Castro Good Pods where we are number one ranked football podcast and so many more. And don't forget to subscribe on YouTube. The only place you can find our video podcast. Check us out on Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok handle for all those at Burning Sportscast. And we are on X as well with the handle at Burning Pod. While you're at it, check out our merch www.the media.com shop.
All kinds of stuff in there that's going to. It's going to be revamped here soon. So you guys will see a bunch of new in there. So I don't know when. Whenever I get time.
[00:05:55] Speaker B: Down 60 pounds. But I'm still fat.
[00:05:58] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: Looking good, my man.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: I didn't even have to make that joke.
[00:06:03] Speaker B: It's been a long off season.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: Don't adjust your screens if you're watching the YouTube version. He is smaller today on the show. This is what you can look for.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: Semaglutide Is a hell of a drug.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: We're catching you up on all the offseason happenings. None of them are really good. Taking a look at your training camp. Looking forward to the preseason or kind of looking forward to the preseason. We're gearing up for another top notch year from the burning river sportscast. Coincide with a bottom tier effort from our beloved Cleveland.
[00:06:42] Speaker B: That could not be more accurate.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Guys, I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. I know, I know, I know, I know the browns are gonna kali tune, but I don't give a. Football season is back. We don't have a new story of the week this week, so let me just remind everybody. Let's get things started by reminding you to call the bravers sportscast. I'm so up.
Hot take hotline. Yeah, that thing.
[00:07:16] Speaker B: Don't forget to call and leave your hot takes on the hot take hotline. Remember, these are hot takes. We want hot takes and only hot takes. We take hot takes all the time. We take hot takes and hot cakes.
[00:07:24] Speaker C: We want hot.
[00:07:25] Speaker B: We want hot takes.
[00:07:26] Speaker C: We want hot takes.
[00:07:27] Speaker B: We want hot takes.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: 330-2278, zero, eight zero, three three zero.
[00:07:32] Speaker B: 2278-0803-3022-7808-0330, 2278-080.
[00:07:40] Speaker A: Now operators.
[00:07:41] Speaker B: Guys, this is our first show of the season and we are just a mess.
[00:07:45] Speaker C: Nobody is standing by.
[00:07:46] Speaker A: It went off the rails when you started calling it my melancholy.
Anyways, let's get into the burning over rundown here.
Do we have some music? The burning river.
[00:07:56] Speaker B: Running river rundown.
[00:08:05] Speaker A: Off to a hot start, boys. This is good. This is good. Hey, before we get into the burning river rundown like the meat of the burning river rundown Pre river. Yeah. Pre river. Pre river.
[00:08:14] Speaker B: Pre run down.
This is pre run.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:19] Speaker B: It was just a little pre run.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: Let's just.
Just take a moment.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: There's no real run in it.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: Moment of silence for what?
Take the moment of silence first. Just trust me on this.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: All right. That's for ozzy osborne and hawk hogan. Two legends.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: Legends.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: They went back to back.
Literally like day. Like a day apart. I think it was a day apart.
[00:08:42] Speaker B: Well, and we also had Theo from the huxtable.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: Yeah, he died from the cosby show.
[00:08:48] Speaker C: Cosby show. Yeah.
[00:08:49] Speaker A: And that. The dude that played the saxophone or whatever. He played.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah. What was his name?
Mangione.
[00:08:56] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:08:57] Speaker A: Mangione. Yeah. Chuck Mangioni. Yeah. So much of a legend.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: Only Kenny remember he was rough Last couple weeks. I mean, the hulkster was devastating.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: No disrespect to Chuck mangioni.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: I mean, R.I.P. i mean, but devastating week in this celebrity, terrible funeral world.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: Terrible. Especially, you know, obviously, you know, we feel for all those families and everything, But Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan, just absolute titans in their respective industries.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: I mean, here's the thing. If you gotta die.
[00:09:29] Speaker A: My life never ends.
[00:09:32] Speaker B: Live your life like Ozzy and the Hulk because those guys had quite a run.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: You know what's crazy? Like, Ozzy Osborne, by. By all accounts, like, everybody that ever met that guy loved him. But he was just, no pun intended here, Batshit crazy. Like, just every time he talks, you're like, what are you even saying, man? Yeah, I mean, but apparently just the sweetest guy.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: You know, it's funny. It's like, there's all this health advice, like, oh, don't drink diet pop. Don't eat eggs. Don't drink coffee. It's like Ozzy Osborne was just doing hookers and cocaine for like 60 years. And, like, he was still kicking right up to the end.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: I actually read an article that they did like a study on his, like, blood, and he like, metabolized all the, like, the alcohol, the drugs, like he's metab it so fast. That was why he never really saw like a ton of long term effects from it.
[00:10:19] Speaker B: Well, funny enough than the fact that he. You couldn't understand anything he said.
[00:10:23] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, there was that, but, you know, he was there.
[00:10:27] Speaker C: Challenged his brain a little bit.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Yeah, but like, like he was still.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: Like, performing show, like doing like, live performances, places.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: That's what I mean.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: Like, funny basically right up till the end.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Funny enough, though, caffeine was like his kryptonite. Like, if he couldn't drink coffee or anything with caffeine in it, because it would, like, just send him off the walls.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: I mean, something's going to get us all, you know. No, no. Nobody makes it out alive.
[00:10:46] Speaker A: Y. Hawk Hogan, obviously just immortal no more.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: But it's a hard game to play to be the immortal one forever.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: You can only be immortal for so long.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Immortal for so long.
[00:11:01] Speaker A: I'm sorry, it's probably too soon for these jokes, but. No, we love talk. I. I know. Growing up. Yeah, both those guys are dead.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: Awesome warrior.
[00:11:12] Speaker A: He's dead too. He's gone, but yeah, I mean, I just remember growing up, like, even getting into middle school high. Then we would go over to your house and watch wrestlemania with me.
[00:11:23] Speaker B: Wrestlemania.
[00:11:24] Speaker A: Did you ever come to any of the WrestleManias in high school with like.
[00:11:26] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:11:27] Speaker C: I don't know about high school, but yeah, I watched some WrestleMania.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: You probably were at some at SC probably.
[00:11:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: Sorry, teen.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: That one guy we knew in high school.
Did you.
[00:11:40] Speaker B: But Ronnie and I, we took it. We took it pretty deep because we were getting WrestleMania, like when we were in college together.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Well, we went to. We went down to Florida for college together.
[00:11:49] Speaker B: Yeah, we were living together, just getting WrestleMania.
[00:11:50] Speaker A: And ye just in our apartment. We were by ourselves.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: The last big one, 23 years old.
[00:11:56] Speaker A: The last big one was the rock versus Cena. And then the Miz was like playing third wheel.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean the Miz is must see TV.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Well, yeah.
Awesome shout out to the Miz. He is a Cleveland fan.
[00:12:09] Speaker B: Yeah, he. He predicted the Cleveland.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: I actually blame him for the season last year though, because he predicted the. Famously, infamously predicted the Browns would go undefeated last year.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: They said. They said, how's this game gonna go win?
[00:12:23] Speaker B: I have a small grudge against the mid Miz because I think he. It builds himself from like Florida or somewhere now. Like he was. He was originally, you know, from Cleveland.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: Be a man.
[00:12:34] Speaker B: I think he builds himself now out of some other place. Hollywood, Florida or somewhere.
[00:12:37] Speaker A: So it's the whole Persona. He's got to be cool.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: I mean, it's cool to be from Cleveland.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: I mean, I agree with you.
[00:12:43] Speaker B: But Midwest.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: Beef corn. Beef the lake.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, but let's get. Let's get into some Browns news here. So the Burning river rundown for you guys. We'll start with Miles Garrett contract extension this offseason. Obviously, Remember, this is a kind of a recap of a lot of offseason happening. So this is the recap.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: This is the first show out of the game.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I know that's not necessarily news, but we're going to talk about it here. Total value of this contract, 160 million over four years.
Average annual salary comes out to 40 million guaranteed money. 123. We'll just call it 123.6 most money.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: For a non quarterback ever.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: Time at the time.
And he does have a no trade clause in there, which is unique. That doesn't happen a lot in the NFL. NFL. So that's pretty cool. Yeah.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: I mean, still just miffed about that, how that whole thing went down. I mean, it was just.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: We'll talk about that in a minute. We'll talk about that a minute. You mentioned at the time it was the highest for a non quarterback. Not to be outdone, like, two weeks later, TJ Watt gets a new deal, and he beat him by, like, a million dollars.
[00:13:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: So. Because he had to.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: That's what they do.
[00:13:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: Who was that? Was that Dak Prescott that got the. The million dollars more than in guaranteed.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: Money than the Sean Watson?
Now, like, 14 people have gotten more than that. Yeah, it's stup, but, yeah. So Miles Garrett locked in for another four years. You know, I. I love Miles Garrett. We're actually. Later this. This season, we're going to be giving away some Miles Garrett memorabilia. But, I mean, did we really win?
[00:14:12] Speaker B: It was just unnecessary. I mean, the whole thing just left a bad taste in my mouth, and there's just no reason for it.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: Well, like, you.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: Like, we were going to play him.
[00:14:19] Speaker A: They had been saying publicly they were going to pay him. They said that the entire time, and he's like, that's it. I want to trade if you're not gonna sign me. And they're like, we are gonna sign you. He's like, yeah, come.
[00:14:30] Speaker B: Come talk to us.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Okay, I guess I'll take the money.
I just don't. I don't really know what it accomplished.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: It was a giant waste of time and a giant reach around the off season. So.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: Yeah. As if we didn't have enough distractions this offseason.
[00:14:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Which brings us to.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. We're not going there yet. We're gonna start with the next up here in the burger. We run down the brown alpha dog uniforms.
Are you digging these?
I actually do like them. I like the. The whole. It's. There's a lot of jokes you can make because they're just a brown out now.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: But I like the overall look of the uniform. My biggest critique of this thing is I would have liked it better if they would have kept the two orange stripes on the sleeve and on the pants from the color Rush jersey back in the day, like, the popular one when Baker was here.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: I miss Baker.
[00:15:22] Speaker A: He's up there.
[00:15:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Big head.
To be honest, the brown helmet doesn't do anything for me. I mean, all this uniform stuff doesn't do much for me at all.
I think, like you said, it just kind of adds to the fodder of, like, joking about the Browns. Like, great, you're the Browns, and you have a brown helmet.
[00:15:40] Speaker A: You guys are literally the Browns now.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: You're the Browns. Like, I don't know.
[00:15:44] Speaker A: What are they? They're the Browns.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: Like, if you're gonna do the alternate uniforms and stuff, Like, I'm more of a fan of like, like, I don't know, like the, the steel grays. Like just do something like that doesn't. That's just out there. That's really a neutral from where you are normally.
[00:15:57] Speaker A: Right. Just like go on a limb and be like, it's inspired by our old face mask. You. A gray uniform.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: Like if they had done the brown helmet with the new dog logo, like in orange on it, like something like that might have been cool. Like it's not really the Brown's helmet when. When it becomes a brown helmet.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Like last year we did white, now we did brown.
[00:16:13] Speaker B: Like these are classic because they're the brown helmets and they've been that way for 60 years.
[00:16:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Those are double so but now, now we've done white, we've done brown. We're officially out of ideas for helmets, guys. That's it. That's all we've got.
So unless we put a logo on there, we've. We. We're done. We have no other ideas.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: Does nothing for me.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: On to the next.
[00:16:34] Speaker A: All right. Jordan Hicks retired.
It took him a big blow. It took.
Took him approximately two weeks of camp to decide. I don't want to be any part of this shit show.
[00:16:44] Speaker B: Devastating.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: So he's done.
[00:16:47] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I thought he was retired when he signed here. So.
[00:16:50] Speaker A: Yeah. On top of that, we still don't know if J. Okay. Will ever play again.
[00:16:54] Speaker B: That's still the saddest news of the off season.
Absolutely.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: He kind of said like he wants. This is what I gather at least is what they're saying is he could possibly play one day. He wants to play again, but nobody still knows if he can play again.
[00:17:09] Speaker B: It's a tough spot and he's still so young.
[00:17:12] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:13] Speaker B: You know, you'd like to think you have more years ahead of you, but at this point he's gonna be gone from the game for so long.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:20] Speaker B: Just. Just the rehab in general, like to get back to him.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: You're talking.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: It's gonna be extremely difficult.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Yeah. It's going to be at least two years between snaps. Right. So.
[00:17:29] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, and. And it's still just a devastating injury. Yeah.
[00:17:34] Speaker C: He's already been ruled out for this entire season, right?
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: Yes. Okay.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I believe so. Right.
[00:17:39] Speaker C: That's what I thought.
[00:17:40] Speaker A: I thought.
[00:17:40] Speaker B: I heard that was. Yeah, the. He like posted that message or whatever about it. So.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: So basically though, we have no linebackers.
We'll talk about him in a little bit. But I mean, we have no veteran presence.
[00:17:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: In our linebacking corps.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: I. I mean, do we have, like, strong veterans in other parts of the team that are going to be the unassailable veterans between 5 and 13 and 12?
[00:18:07] Speaker A: We'll get to how our roster st up against everyone else's here in a little bit. But.
Yeah. So, you know, that's, That's. That's kind of injury news. That's some retirement news. The fact that we don't have any linebackers. Let's go on to legal issues.
[00:18:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:21] Speaker A: Things just get worse. Yeah.
Queen. Sean Judkins, our second round running back out of Ohio State. Don't usually like to bash Ohio State players, but what the fuck?
[00:18:31] Speaker B: We gotta stop drafting Ohio State guys in the second round.
[00:18:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
And they're.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: That's two years in a row.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's like the same thing. I just don't. What is wrong with these guys? Like, what is wrong with it?
The weirdest part is it's not even just the Browns. Like, obviously a lot of guys on the Browns has happened, but it happens across the NFL. What is wrong with these guys? I think you made the comment. What was your comment about? The lottery ticket.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you're standing in line waiting to cash a lottery ticket. I mean, you're looking at creating generational wealth for you and your family and the opportunity to play a kid's game for a king's ransom. Like, what are you doing? Why are you doing anything besides football, period? Like, especially with weeks leading up to the season, why are you doing anything besides football? You should be eating right, sleeping right. Training, and in your playbook. That's it.
[00:19:24] Speaker A: Like, get in your playbook.
[00:19:25] Speaker B: I mean, what else. What else do you do? You're a professional football player. This is what, this is what you worked your entire life for.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Like you said, especially, like the Browns have all but said they're giving you the keys as the running back. Like, you're the guy. Yeah. You're 100% disappointing because he was one.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: Of the guys that I was the most excited about seeing that I thought.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: I think we all were.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: He could play. He could play a real wild card type of role, a Cordero, Patterson, Debo Samuel type role where he can do a lot of different things.
And I was excited to see how they would implement him into the offense. I don't. I don't have a lot of faith in Kevin Stefanski to do great things, but. But I was still interested.
[00:20:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:07] Speaker B: And he had potential. So.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: One of the craziest things he also had the size to like, I was actually looking forward to him potentially being the three down back guy and then everybody else turns into the spellbacks and, and we just get him in there when we need to. But I mean, yeah, it's just disappointing all around. He had so much potential. And at this point, I, you know, they're still holding on to the rights, but I, I don't know what they're going to do signing wise.
I mean, he's the only guy in the first or second round that remains unsigned for good reason.
I'm assuming they're going to try and leverage it to say you're the only second rounder that doesn't have their entire contract guaranteed.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: Yeah. And I guess it's probably too soon to totally write them off. Right. We've seen guys come back from really bad circumstances before and maybe this is, you know, the final kick in the pants of like, I'm not going to do anything besides football and I need to get my life right. But like, at the end of the day, this is very similar to what we went through last year.
You know, I think it's important that we also don't shy away from the fact that, like, the, the accusations are grave.
You know, these, you can't, you can't hit women.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: Well, and it's not like it's, it's a he said, she said. Like, there's evidence and there's substantial, like there's corroborating stuff here that, that points to the fact that he legitimately did this. It wasn't a. Well, you know, maybe he did, maybe he didn't.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: I just hate the, the, the whitewashing that goes along. I mean, you see the stories and, you know, the Plain Dealer and on espn and it's, you know, Browns players battling legal issues or, you know, stuff like, it's like, let's, let's call it. What?
[00:21:46] Speaker C: Brown's player hit another woman.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Yeah, like that's.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: And that's another Brown. Third one in two years.
[00:21:51] Speaker B: And we kind of gloss over that fact because we want to watch these guys play ball. And so, I mean, what is the.
[00:21:59] Speaker C: Dude, 220, like six, six foot, massive.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Solid, huge, solid muscle.
[00:22:04] Speaker A: And, and while we're on that topic, we'll throw Devin Bush in there, too. So Devin Bush, the other one that got accused of domestic violence and those. That makes up the three. So those two. And Mike hall from last year.
And it's like, what are you guys doing? And I guess, you know, I know these guys are Browns. It's your point? Like, maybe they'll bounce back and they'll, you know, better themselves and be better moving forward.
I guess my whole lament is against football players doing this in general. Like, I'm not trying to single out these guys. It's not because I have anything against these guys. My point, we were big fans.
[00:22:38] Speaker B: We were waiting for him.
[00:22:39] Speaker A: I was hoping for good things. My point is, like, in general, what the hell is wrong with you?
Like, anybody in society would kill to be in your position.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:49] Speaker A: And this is what you do with it.
You instantly throw it away.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: I can't.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: Over something so stupid.
[00:22:56] Speaker B: I can't reconcile that mindset. I just. I mean, look, we're all married. Y' all stupid fights, you get angry. It's like marriage is hard. Like, when. When was the last time you ever even thought in the back of your mind, like, I might hit this woman? Like, Right. It just never crosses your mind. I think for anything. It's not a normal.
[00:23:17] Speaker A: It hasn't crossed your mind, like, yeah, that.
[00:23:20] Speaker B: That should ever be a thought.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: And that's where, like, I don't. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's.
And we can go even broader, like, across all sports. Like, I don't know if it's a sense of entitlement for pro athletes or a sense of like, they've never had to live in the real world. They can't cope with. You can't touch me. They can't cope with normal problems that people have because their whole lives have probably not been very normal. Like, I don't know what it is, but why does this keep happening?
It's just, it's.
[00:23:49] Speaker B: I don't know.
And it's bad. And it's. It's especially bad for the Browns.
It's a bad look, you know, for the league and for the Browns. And.
I don't know. We'll see what happens. I guess. This is why you draft two running backs.
[00:24:02] Speaker A: Yeah. To that point. Dylan Sampson is going to have a huge shot at meaningful carries this year with the fact that who knows if or when Judkins will join the team.
And then the Browns also this week signed Travion Williams as insurance just because they need more running backs.
So. Good thing they did it.
[00:24:23] Speaker B: We had a guy that played here that was.
[00:24:24] Speaker A: He was just like the epitome of character and a true professional.
[00:24:28] Speaker B: He was an alright player, too.
[00:24:29] Speaker C: Face of the franchise for multiple years.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Did everything right.
[00:24:33] Speaker B: Ever decent guy.
[00:24:34] Speaker A: Probably my favorite. Cleveland Brown of all Time.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: Really productive in his time here.
[00:24:39] Speaker C: What happened to him?
[00:24:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:41] Speaker A: Oh, he's down in Houston. That's Nicholas. Jamal Chubb.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: We didn't want to pay him.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: No, we don't want to pay him.
[00:24:45] Speaker B: Like, the veterans minimum. Stick around.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: Nope. We wanted this guy not even just.
[00:24:50] Speaker B: To be a source of, of good, good intention and goodwill in your locker room. A veteran presence to show the young guys, like, seriously how to be a professional.
[00:24:58] Speaker A: Imagine if the first person that Quinshawn Judkins met when he walked into Berea, into the facilities in Berea.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: 100, right?
[00:25:07] Speaker A: Nick Chubb.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: It's 100, right.
[00:25:08] Speaker A: Because, like, where would he be now? Probably not where he's at.
[00:25:11] Speaker B: You meet guys like that, and it does have an effect on you as a young person, especially, you want to emulate those behaviors and become those people.
And I, I, those, those, those kinds of guys are worth their weight in golden NFL locker room because they do have an impact. And whether, whether they ever rush for 1400 yards or 20 touchdowns, like, that doesn't, that doesn't mean that they, they don't have lasting value and impact in your, in your space.
[00:25:36] Speaker A: Yeah. And I, I didn't expect to get into this conversation, but this is where analytics goes off the rails for me.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:25:43] Speaker A: Because analytics would tell you to get rid of Nick Chubb. 30 years, all day injuries. Yeah, absolutely. But to your point, we all see it. We all know what he meant to the locker room, to the city, to the organization, and you literally couldn't pay basically the veterans minimum.
[00:25:59] Speaker B: I mean, here. Go back to what the hell. It's one of the beautiful things about the human condition. Right. The emotions and things that we can't explain, like, like why do humans do. And like, music. Like, it doesn't serve a, an evolutionary purpose, but like, to go back to the, the feeling when Nick Chubb hit the field for the first time after his injury. Injury, like, that was in everybody and in that stadium. You could feel it. It was, it was palpable.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: Like, and then desean Watson, Taurus Achilles.
Sorry, I had to.
[00:26:29] Speaker B: But, like, and then those are the things that make sports great. But, but I digress. I mean, ultimately, like, I could talk about Nick. The Browns are in a heap of trouble at the running back position. We'll see if Dylan Sampson.
[00:26:40] Speaker A: I miss those days when we could just talk about Nick Chubb. Just, Just running people over and scoring touchdowns all day. Yeah, we can't do that anymore.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: Good times.
[00:26:48] Speaker A: Yeah. So Judkins, Devin Bush, both legal issues. Who knows what's going to go on with them.
Speaking of another guy with legal issues, I just mentioned him, desean Watson.
[00:26:58] Speaker B: He's mostly resolved, right?
[00:26:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, except for more just randomly come out here and there. There's probably at least 10 more that we don't know about.
But, yeah, he still thinks he's going to play for the Browns again. So I know he's been posting on Instagram talking about a comeback. I mean, if we wanted some comeback, we probably would have taken it off his forehead, head.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: His.
[00:27:19] Speaker A: Somebody's. I don't know.
[00:27:24] Speaker B: Easy there.
I mean, I. I don't. I mean, he's making Instagram videos. I don't know. Like, hopefully he doesn't injure his Achilles doing that.
[00:27:35] Speaker A: He's just the worst.
[00:27:36] Speaker C: I Is like, is like, staff and coaching and management still like, oh, yeah, you have a. You have a shot. You know, that was telling him.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: Or like, wasn't Andrew Barry that random? Talking about everybody, Everybody, including the media, kind of shut the door on it, like, most of the organization then randomly Andrew Barry had, like, a conversation because.
[00:27:53] Speaker B: Even Jimmy was, like, swinging a miss.
[00:27:56] Speaker C: Yeah. They basically admitted they made him.
[00:27:57] Speaker A: But I think Andrew Barry, after that came back, I was like, I mean, he's on the. He's on the roster.
[00:28:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
Well, and even today, if you're watching NFL Network at all today, like, they're running stories about the Browns five quarterbacks.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Even though he's not playing because he's whatever, you know, know he's on the injured list and not there. We still technically have five quarterbacks on the roster.
[00:28:17] Speaker B: I mean, I guess it's a tough spot to be in. I mean, what do you do if you're him?
[00:28:20] Speaker A: Can't cut him because it's just dead.
[00:28:21] Speaker B: I mean, but if you're him, like, what do you do besides try and maintain some kind of positive attitude and outlook on, like.
[00:28:27] Speaker A: I just think you lay low and don't do anything.
[00:28:28] Speaker B: Well, that's.
[00:28:29] Speaker A: I mean, I mean, not. Not.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: I would probably tire.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: Well, yeah, I probably would, too. But I'm saying, like, I would have never done that stuff in the first place and I'd still be on the field. But let's be clear.
But no, I mean, if. If you're him, like, you should just keep your mouth shut and work out and try and get back and. And take whatever you can get.
[00:28:46] Speaker B: Well, that's true, too.
[00:28:47] Speaker A: You probably just stop posting Instagram videos and, like, just let it.
[00:28:50] Speaker B: Get yourself healthy and wait for your next opportunity.
[00:28:52] Speaker A: That's the best thing because how tone deaf do you look when you're sitting here posting comeback videos?
Yeah, it's a bad thought.
[00:28:59] Speaker B: Maybe he saw Manzel do it and he thought that's. There's.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: There's a guy that you can learn.
[00:29:03] Speaker C: From trying to get his 30 for 30 on, like come back season.
[00:29:08] Speaker A: All right. Yeah. So speaking of, of quarterbacks, though, you know, he's. He's not a quarterback. He's never gonna be a quarterback for the Browns again. But let's, let's talk about the other quarterback. Obviously, that's the, that's the hot button issue with the Browns right now is they got four quarterbacks on the roster. And let me just sum it up and then we'll talk about the quarterback. So we got Joe Flacco, he's old.
We got Kenny Pickett, he's hurt. He wears two gloves and he's got tiny hands. Tiniest hands in the game.
Dylan Gabriel, he's short, inaccurate. He's also hurt. And then we got Shador Sanders, who's apparently not allowed to throw a pass.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: I love how every day there's a camp report, it's like Dylan Gabriel in 3 for 14. At camp.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: I don't have a problem saying is that R hates Gabriel.
Like every chance he gets, like, this is not an NFL quarterback.
[00:29:53] Speaker B: I mean, I don't put a lot of stock into like the camp numbers when they're like, oh, so and so through for two touchdowns, they don't matter.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: They're like seven on seven. But.
[00:30:00] Speaker B: But when consistently his completion is 25 for the day.
[00:30:04] Speaker C: He's got a really good head on his shoulders, though. He could really process information.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: Really compact throwing motion.
[00:30:09] Speaker A: Yeah. So, I mean, let's talk about this. Like, obviously, I think we're all in agreeance. Like, who should be the starting quarterback? Quarterback, day one.
[00:30:16] Speaker C: Joe Flacco.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: I don't know that I'm in agreeance there.
So let me ask you guys this. I think this is the important thing. What's your best case scenario for the Browns quarterback position this year?
[00:30:28] Speaker A: There is no.
[00:30:29] Speaker B: What's your ideal scenario?
[00:30:31] Speaker A: Joe Flacco playing the entire season and we maybe get a wild card spot. That's the best thing that could happen.
[00:30:35] Speaker B: I mean, I guess Joe, Joe Flacco plays all season, recaptures the magic. You win the Super Bowl.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: That's not going to happen.
[00:30:40] Speaker B: But, but, but then what, what, we're back to grounds?
[00:30:44] Speaker C: Winning the super bowl would be huge.
[00:30:48] Speaker B: Agree, but like, but then you're just going to be the Browns again next year. You're going to go from super bowl champion to being the Browns again next year and for a long time you're.
[00:30:57] Speaker C: Not getting those those first quarterbacks that are supposed to be franchise changing and.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: They won't let it happen anyways.
Let's be honest, the management's not going to let it happen.
[00:31:05] Speaker B: That's a great point though Bone. Right. So let's say Joe Flacco plays and he's mediocre. Maybe you're fighting for a wild card spot. You maybe. Maybe you're slightly over five now you're out of the running for an early first round pick to get an Arch Manning.
[00:31:17] Speaker A: We do have the Jaguars picked though so if they're terrible and they end up in the top like three and then you trade it'll trade away our 32 pick. Assuming we win the quarterback in this wild scenario or assuming we win the Super Bowl.
[00:31:31] Speaker B: They drafted Travis Hunter so they'll probably win more games than we will this year.
[00:31:36] Speaker A: Probably not.
[00:31:37] Speaker C: He's gonna have 20 touchdowns.
[00:31:39] Speaker A: Well I mean they probably will win more games than the Browns. I'm just saying they're also going to be really bad. So.
[00:31:44] Speaker B: So ok so. So Ronnie Red hot Ronnie jams is best case scenario is we package our picks together to trade up to get a.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Well no, let's be clear. I said there's no way we're winning the super bowl so that scenario is.
[00:31:55] Speaker B: No I. I've stepped back now I'm saying best case scenario. Okay we're we're 500 middling. Maybe you're fighting for a wild card spot.
[00:32:01] Speaker A: I think in that scenario you could package your your first rounds and pot cuz their first rounds that year. It's not like it's future draft picks. It's that year so you're going to.
[00:32:09] Speaker B: Package 12 and 20 and and get.
[00:32:11] Speaker A: And I mean if you wanted to get up and get like an Arch Manning in the top three you probably still have to you year.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: I mean can this team can this team afford no to pass up to first round draft picks on on role playing type guys that are going to be Browns for the next 10 years to take a gamble on a guy like Archman that couldn't even win the starting job in Texas?
[00:32:33] Speaker A: No, I actually I'm not a big fan of taking quarterbacks top five period. But I also that you're assuming that those guys are going to be Browns for 10 years. The the hit rate on first round draft picks in general and I'm not talking quarterbacks I'm talking in general is not good.
So like at this point it's just a crapshoot. So it's just what they, what they value more is all I'm saying. Like do they think the quarterback's going to change or do they think these guys are going to be Browns for 10 years are going to change it?
[00:32:56] Speaker B: I mean I still think the track record comparatively to, I think success in the NFL is rare. Comparatively. Guys that go in the first, second and third round have better, longer careers than guys that are drafted in rounds four or seven fair.
So you give up. I mean can this team that already mortgaged their future at the quarterback position once with the Sean Watson and all the trades. I mean you figure year is since Deshaun, since, since Baker Mayfield left, this team has spent a total of like, I don't know, like 11 draft picks on the quarterback position. Yeah, since Baker Mayfield's left. Yeah.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: I mean you mentioned in the show opening the, you know, old adages and, and what's the old adage?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: So again.
[00:33:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean they're gonna do it.
[00:33:40] Speaker B: So, so again. So then I go back to what's the best case scenario for the Browns quarterback room this year? Is it Joe Flacco wins eight or nine games this year and you're respectable and the season's se think that's legitimately the absolute top. But, but then you have no idea what you have in two guys that.
[00:33:56] Speaker C: You draft or Shador shows promise. I don't think Dylan Gabriel can.
[00:34:01] Speaker B: But how does Shadow or Dylan Gabriel show promise if they don't play all year? Yeah, true.
[00:34:06] Speaker A: I, I, I know. So I guess what I'm saying is for this season, best case scenario is Joe Flacco wins game. That's not what's best for the Browns going forward. It's just not.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: Well, and that's where it's just, and that's where I'm stuck.
[00:34:18] Speaker A: I mean it really isn't this team that we have put together right now. So let me just skip ahead notes real quick and we'll come back to this conversation.
PFF ranks the Browns as the worst roster in the NFL right now.
The worst. So on paper the Browns are the worst team in the NFL.
Given that, yeah, we can't really afford to give up more draft picks.
And so no, I think you have.
[00:34:43] Speaker B: To start to figure out what is your future plan because you have two quarterbacks right now on this roster that, that potentially could be long term starters. But if they don't get a chance to play. You're kicking that can down the road, right? And then you're jeopardizing potentially your chance to get another top guy early in the draft next year. But now you have two quarterbacks that didn't play. So now we're looking at three quarterbacks that are young next year going into camp. Like, the worst thing that they could have possibly done was take two quarterbacks. Quarterbacks. It would be an easier pill to swallow right now if you had Joe Flacco and you had Kenny Pickett as a veteran backup guy, that could be there just in case. And you had a deal in Gabriel as a developmental pie that if he saw action in three games this year, you kind of go.
[00:35:23] Speaker A: The only way you salvage this is one of the rookies has to be cut or traded. They have to be. Well, it's the only way because you can focus on the other rookie as. As your project.
[00:35:35] Speaker B: Or one of those rookies comes out and lights up the preseason and starts week one and becomes, if that happens.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: The other one's getting cut or traded.
That's what's going to happen. They're going to get rid of the other, other one because there's no point in taking up a rost spot.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: Can. Can you. Can you cut a guy that you draft, a quarterback that you drafted?
[00:35:55] Speaker A: Come on. This is Andrew Barry. The shine has. Has worn off of Andrew Barry, and everybody knows he's not good at drafting.
He's really good with numbers. He's still employed. I know he's still employed. I'm just saying, like, he still has.
[00:36:08] Speaker B: A GM in front of his name.
[00:36:09] Speaker A: I know, but I'm just saying, like, you act like. Like this is unheard of. Like, it's not.
[00:36:16] Speaker B: I'm not saying it's. I'm just trying to figure out at this point because. Because here's the thing. I'm in a really bad spot with the Browns right now. I have.
[00:36:23] Speaker A: Are you jumping? You got to be a new fan of someone else.
[00:36:26] Speaker B: Lifelong Browns fan.
[00:36:27] Speaker A: No way.
[00:36:27] Speaker B: But I'm. I'm so disappointed in just lingering off of the failure of last year to the point where I've never been less optimistic about the future of this team.
[00:36:37] Speaker A: Fair.
[00:36:37] Speaker B: And I don't see anything good coming of this season outside of the fact that. That maybe you can find the guy that will be your quarterback for the next few years.
But if Joe Flacco plays most of the year or all year, like, you're not even going to get a sample size. That's worthy enough to know. Are you taking one of these guys into camp next year as your number one and using those two first round draft picks on guys that could play a wide receiver, offensive line, a defense, a linebacker.
[00:37:03] Speaker A: Like, 100% agree with you there. And. But my problem is, like, one, why do we have Kenny Pickett?
[00:37:13] Speaker B: It's like, you just go around this quarterback carousel because there's so much stupidity.
[00:37:19] Speaker A: So they brought back Joe Flacco, which. Which, you know, which was actually they.
[00:37:23] Speaker B: Probably had to do. Yeah, they owed the fans that. At the very least.
Nick Chubb.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: But then we.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: Sean Watson, you had to at least bring Joe Flaccio.
[00:37:32] Speaker A: So you're like, okay, there's a positive.
[00:37:33] Speaker C: We can have some competent football.
[00:37:35] Speaker A: Right.
[00:37:36] Speaker C: Hopefully.
[00:37:36] Speaker B: Right?
[00:37:37] Speaker A: There's. And he still throws the most beautiful football as you'. Camp. Like, all the. Oh, my God.
[00:37:41] Speaker B: If they didn't draft two rookie quarterbacks this year, I would be all in on Joe. I'd be like, let's see if he.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: Can play two more years.
That's what I was going to say is. Is here's. So we brought Joe Flacco back. Good. Then we bring in Kenny Pickett, starting to look questionable.
Like, what are we doing? We didn't. We didn't just bring him in. We traded assets for Kenny Pickett.
[00:38:00] Speaker B: It's just his hands that look questionable. His hair is fine.
[00:38:03] Speaker A: He does have good hands, I'll give him that. This is like, only redeeming quality as the dude's got great hair.
Besides that terrible quarterback, tiny hands, wears two gloves.
Like, he's just. He's awful. He's mobile. But then they completely tanked the entire thing by one. You know what they did? They did what this front office always does. The Browns thought they were smarter than everyone in the room, and they outsmarted themselves and took Dylan Gabriel on the third round.
[00:38:31] Speaker C: Oh, that's his guy. It was. That's his guy.
[00:38:34] Speaker A: I don't give a.
Like, you could have got Dylan Gabriel in, like, the fifth or sixth round. And at that point, we don't even have in this discussion because we just watched fires on guys at the end of the. We're like, we don't care. One of them pans out. What the. We don't give a.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: You could have waited until the draft was over and signed Dylan Gabriel. Right.
[00:38:50] Speaker A: Like, Jesus Christ. Instead, we drafted in the third round. Now we have to play him. We have to play him also. Since when do you have to play third round picks quarterbacks? And you got a quarterback voice it's ridiculous. Like, that's my point is like, they. It up. It was, it was just fine. If you just bring back Joe Flacco and just fill out with. Nobody's behind that and you just say whatever we're hoping for, make a case.
[00:39:16] Speaker B: Then to say, like, could they be active in free agency? Maybe they get an undrafted free agent that comes in that, that does really well. Instead you start to build that like, you know, veteran laden team that maybe like the end of the Mangini years, like, it wasn't good, but like they had enough core that they were like, mediocre and you can kind of like, it's. It's competitive, watchable football.
[00:39:35] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:39:36] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:39:36] Speaker B: But the moment you drafted two new quarterbacks, now you gotta go. I mean, as much as I like Joe, and Joe, to his credit, has continued to be the consummate professional the entire time he's been here. He's saying, you know, look, I'm not here to be a coach. I'm not here to be a mentor. Like, I'm here to play.
[00:39:51] Speaker A: And I love Deshaun Watson. Take, take notes.
[00:39:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I love this town. Cleveland was great to me the last time I was here. I'm excited to finish my career here. Like, he's done and said, I like the part.
[00:40:01] Speaker A: I like the, the quote.
He's like, no, I don't look at them as just like another stop in my career. I' Brown for life. Yeah.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: Like, he's like, he's like he's endeared himself to this. He's done all the things right.
[00:40:11] Speaker A: He just. Do you think when he makes those comments, he just like smirks to himself. He's like, he's nosy, stoking the flames. Yeah. He's like, these guys love me.
[00:40:19] Speaker B: Like, I do love. I genuinely like the guy.
[00:40:22] Speaker A: It. Let's get a Joe Flacco jersey. I've been.
[00:40:25] Speaker B: I've been saying up until this year, like, he's the best quarterback I've seen in the Browns uniform in my lifetime. I agree.
[00:40:31] Speaker A: Period.
[00:40:32] Speaker B: It was the magical run they went on at the end of that year.
But. And that's what pains me now to look at it and go, here's a guy that I want to root for, that I want to see play, that there was a beautiful football.
But I need the other two young guys to play. I need to see what I have because I'd rather get through this year and turn the page on both of those guys. If they both blow and go, let's figure it out. Next year, we'll either draft somebody or sign somebody. We'll figure it. Like, we'll figure it out then. But I need to know because I can't take both of these guys into next season and do the same damn thing. Thing.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree.
Look, here's the deal. It just pains me every time you talk about the legend that is Cleveland Browns quarterbacko. Because that. That run, like in the other saying that we used that we've thrown around about that run is like, I wish you knew the good times when you were in the good times or what. However, Andy Bernard. Yeah, like. Like that was it. Like. Like, that was the most. That was legitimately the most fun I've ever had watching the Cleveland.
[00:41:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it was a blast. It was a magical.
[00:41:32] Speaker A: Now here we are with all this nonsense going on, and I just. Only the Browns could mess up this situation so badly. Like, it was pretty simple. You just. Like I said, you bring in Joe Flacco, you bring in some veterans, and you just say, if we lose, we lose. We're going after Arch Manning, and you just accept it. And here we are.
[00:41:51] Speaker B: And worst in.
[00:41:52] Speaker A: Worst period, situation, period, ever.
[00:41:55] Speaker B: Period. And what's made it worse is the circumstances have gone completely against them in this because. Because Shedeur has been decent at camp.
[00:42:04] Speaker A: Like, the reports still throw in college, he threw 70%.
All camp long, he's throwing it 70% incredibly. And then he got Dylan Gabriel coming in here and throwing it 25%. And somehow he can't get any red.
[00:42:18] Speaker B: Number of reports that the locker room likes. And the guys in the locker room like him that, you know, like, he's. He's a good presence in the locker room. It seems like Dion, for the most part, has kind of kept his.
[00:42:28] Speaker A: And he actually commented on that. He's like. He's like, no, I told my dad that I need. I need time to. More or less.
I need to be me and I need to do my thing. And just so, like, the circus and.
[00:42:38] Speaker B: All the stuff that came with him, like, kind of hasn't.
[00:42:40] Speaker A: He's.
[00:42:40] Speaker B: He's excelled at camp more than.
[00:42:42] Speaker A: He's done so much throughout the community so far. Yeah, like, he's always out there.
[00:42:47] Speaker B: And meanwhile, the reports every day are, Dylan Gabriel sucks every day. He's getting smaller as we go.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: Two inches since he's been in camp.
He's lost 14 pounds and shrunk two inches.
[00:43:02] Speaker B: And. And now you got Kenny Picket on. On the, you know, or whatever the PUP list or whatever he is on at the moment, like, with his tiny hands. So it's just like every. Everything that could compound negatively in this situation is. And it's just this powder keg of uncertainty. And you know what the worst part about good for your football team?
[00:43:23] Speaker A: You know what the worst part about Kenny Pickett is? He's got those tiny hands, and he wears two gloves just to draw more attention to his tiny hands.
[00:43:29] Speaker B: When your hands are that small, you have to.
[00:43:31] Speaker A: It's like, I can't hold a football. So stick them. Have you seen the back to back of, like, Joe Flacco's hands and his hands. Football is the most ridiculous thing you've ever.
[00:43:39] Speaker B: Just like when I look at my son's hands on a football.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: Yeah, he's two.
My son. He's three months old.
[00:43:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, the really tiny fingers just a little bit longer than Kenny Pickett's.
[00:43:52] Speaker A: Do you want to keep talking about quarterbacks?
[00:43:54] Speaker B: We can't. We gotta.
[00:43:55] Speaker A: Let's keep it moving.
Camp standouts. I just wanted to throw three names out there because these guys, by all accounts, have been phenomenal in camp, which there's not very many bright spots with this Browns team. So you gotta talk about when you see him. Number one, Dwan Jones. Big Thanos lost 60 pounds, but he's still fat.
It's like he's kind of guys hanging out.
But, yeah, by all accounts, he's. He's just been awesome in the preseason so far. They said he's like, nobody can get around him. He's really taking things seriously. Like he's kind of changed his tune or what, you know, he's. It's just different. It just feels different when it comes to dejuan Jones's here.
[00:44:34] Speaker B: Well, he had to. He had to take one of those shopping cart strollers out to the play last year.
[00:44:38] Speaker A: Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, I mean, they said that he. He's moving well, he's blocking everything, and he looks like he's. He's ready to take that next step, to be like, the guy at left tackle this year.
[00:44:50] Speaker B: So, yeah, I mean, you know, we thought he was going to do great things last year, and he just blew up.
[00:44:55] Speaker A: And he was fat.
[00:44:56] Speaker B: Massive.
[00:44:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Big.
[00:44:58] Speaker B: You can't just be the biggest guy. Being big doesn't equal tough.
[00:45:00] Speaker A: Are we going to get in trouble for just talking about how big he was? Was. I don't know.
[00:45:04] Speaker B: Yeah. It's sports. There's any body dysmorphia in sports. Is there?
[00:45:08] Speaker A: I mean, you're an offensive lineman. Your job is to be 400 job.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: Is to be a big guy. I mean, look, at least he's not. What's that? Desmond Williams or Watson in Tampa Bay that literally can't practice because he's too fat.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: They're like, you can't practice. You're. You are at an unsafe weight to play football.
[00:45:22] Speaker B: He literally can't. He literally can't practice.
[00:45:25] Speaker A: Yeah, he has to get down to a certain weight before they let him put on pads.
[00:45:29] Speaker B: He's literally the NFL's biggest.
[00:45:31] Speaker A: This is like peewee football. Like you can't be over 140 pounds or whatever.
[00:45:35] Speaker B: They just don't.
[00:45:35] Speaker C: They don't want him dying of heat stroke or something.
[00:45:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Desmond Watson, 464 pounds. Six foot six. Four, six, four.
[00:45:44] Speaker A: I guess he's kind of.
[00:45:45] Speaker B: He's lost 30 pounds since May and he's still 464 pounds.
[00:45:51] Speaker A: Nice.
That's a man.
But yeah, so good. Good on big thanos there. Trimming down and getting in into more, you know, a better playing, playing shape to. To be able to play left tackle for us because we, we desperately need line.
They were pretty good last year.
[00:46:08] Speaker B: They did a lot to upgrade the offensive line.
[00:46:12] Speaker A: Did they?
This is news.
I mean, it's the same people.
Didn't they bring in like one, like one or two guys?
[00:46:21] Speaker B: Yeah, same core guys all last year we were like, what happened to this puppets.
[00:46:26] Speaker C: Hey. But two years ago those same guys were good.
[00:46:29] Speaker B: We're really good.
[00:46:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, 32nd out of 30 running back behind them.
[00:46:36] Speaker B: But who knows?
[00:46:38] Speaker A: I think we could safely answer like who was making who look good? Nick Chub or the offensive line. Yeah, it was Nick Chub.
Anyways, next guy here. Carson Schwiesinger, second round pick out of UCLA at linebacker. Having a camp.
I mentioned we basically have no linebackers. No. No veteran presence in the linebacking room. Uh, at least we've got this guy because they're already talking about he's probably gonna wear the green. Green dot for the defense in his rookie season.
[00:47:03] Speaker B: I mean, a very.
[00:47:04] Speaker A: Which. Hold on. Not a big accomplishment seeing as he's the only linebacker left on the field.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: Somebody has to wear the dot. Carson, you gotta put it on your helmet, man.
[00:47:14] Speaker A: No, I'm not taking away from what he's doing. He's having a really good camp.
[00:47:17] Speaker C: Rise, rise in the ladder by default.
[00:47:19] Speaker B: Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, I think if you go back to like draft day and draft stock and what they anticipated him being, they kind of thought he was kind of a mixing a mix it up kind of guy that was going to be able to, you know, blitz packages and things. But so did to, to, to think about him now as maybe being a stalwart in your defensive.
[00:47:36] Speaker A: Well, what's crazy is, is they did say that, but they also said like where they. I know he was a second round pick, he was a pretty high pick, but even at the pick they got him at, they're like, this guy's a steel production wise, like value wise. They just didn't.
[00:47:49] Speaker B: A lot of the, you know, draft experts didn't anticipate him being a, a starter day one or a starting guy all season type deal. So we'll see a lone bright spot there. It is preseason.
[00:48:00] Speaker A: So. And speaking of is. It is preseason Luke Floria here. Let's not take anything away from Luke Floria, but this is, this is.
I'm excited about this because he's a Kent State guy.
[00:48:10] Speaker B: I'm excited about it because he's 5 foot 8.
[00:48:12] Speaker A: Yes, he's. Yeah. So just real quick, a quote from Luke Floria because he's getting all this attention because he's having a good camp and they asked him like, how do you feel? And he's like, look, the day I came out of the womb, I was a Browns fan. That was, that's what he led with. So I thought that was pretty cool. He's a men or native.
He went to Kent State. A standout there. Stand out for the worst team in college football. I don't. I guess that's pretty good. But the downside, you, you mentioned he's 58 and, and so I mean, is he actually going to make the roster? This feels a lot like the, a couple of the guys in the past years that everybody's excited about, but then they end up on the practice.
[00:48:49] Speaker B: And that was what I was going to say was I'm trying not to get too excited. I mean, again, I've, I see all the same reports and like, like sounds like he's having a great camp. But we've had a lot of guys that had great preseasons as, you know, wide receivers, running backs that you thought like this guy could really be something and then they don't even make the.
So the Browns will do the right thing and they will cut him.
[00:49:13] Speaker A: They won't put him on the practice.
[00:49:15] Speaker B: Yeah, they'll just cut him. He'll end up, he'll end up like, he'll end up on the roster of the Indianapolis Colts and he'll rush for like 800 yards and catch 60 passes out of the Backfield, and we'll be like, that guy. He was on our team. Team. He was at one point.
[00:49:29] Speaker A: I like that he's going Cleveland Brown. I like that he's going from a receiver to a running back.
[00:49:33] Speaker B: He's just going to rush for eight.
You know, he's going to be one.
[00:49:37] Speaker C: Of those guys that, like, it's going to Danny Woodhead.
[00:49:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:39] Speaker B: Yeah. He's going to be.
[00:49:40] Speaker A: The X fact Kenny's mom gives Woodhead.
[00:49:44] Speaker B: Sorry, Tina.
[00:49:47] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, hopefully one of these guys, you know, really pans out and has a good year because we don't really have a lot of guys in the Browns roster in general that I'm excited about right now. Right now.
[00:49:57] Speaker B: So Miles.
[00:49:58] Speaker A: Miles Garrett got the bag.
I mean, the only upside to. To. To him getting the bag is like, hopefully now he's just like, I'm just going after sacks record. Like, that's all I do now. And he, you know, even though we win four games next year, he goes for 28 sacks.
That'd be dope.
[00:50:16] Speaker C: 28. 28. I like that number.
[00:50:21] Speaker B: Apple makes.
[00:50:22] Speaker A: And Graham, he's just been there. He's just.
I mean, have you heard anything? He's doing what he's supposed to do. He showed up and threw up, and then he. Since then, he's had, like, a decent camp. He's been.
[00:50:37] Speaker B: I've seen good. I've seen a lot of good, but.
[00:50:38] Speaker A: I mean, he was. He was our top pick. So, like, I just. I didn't really have him in there because he's just. He's our top.
[00:50:43] Speaker B: He was. He was talking some good. Some good noise about, you know, being in Cleveland. And, you know, he's here to be a, you know, whatever legend in the defensive line.
[00:50:50] Speaker A: I did see that. I. I like that. I like when they, you know, a lot of these guys come in here with these lukewarm, like, yeah, I mean, I'm in Cleveland. I'm going to work hard, whatever. Like, I like when they sell out for the. I'm a Brown. I'm a, you know, whatever.
[00:51:02] Speaker B: He's like, I want to be a Brown for life.
[00:51:04] Speaker A: He's got to make up for the fact that he's from Michigan. Right?
[00:51:06] Speaker B: Well, that's true.
[00:51:07] Speaker C: I. I was listening to a Jerry Judy interview, and they're like, so is. Was Cleveland what you expected?
And he's like, so, yeah, I got here.
[00:51:19] Speaker B: I was born there.
[00:51:22] Speaker C: And he ended with, yes, it's what I. I expected. And he never truly answered the question.
[00:51:26] Speaker A: He just answered the question.
[00:51:27] Speaker C: With the question. It never.
[00:51:28] Speaker B: It was great.
[00:51:30] Speaker A: That's sales 101. Is. Is Cleveland what you expected? That's what. That's how you answer the question.
[00:51:35] Speaker B: Never let them see who you really are.
[00:51:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
Nice.
[00:51:41] Speaker C: I like Jerry Judy, by the way. But I just like. Funny the way he answers.
[00:51:44] Speaker A: He's.
[00:51:45] Speaker B: He's another kind of lone bright spot. Like, I'm looking forward to watching him play this year.
[00:51:48] Speaker C: Joe Flacco throwing the ball. I think that could be like a.
[00:51:51] Speaker B: Amari 2.0 kind of connection.
[00:51:53] Speaker A: Much better tomorrow because Mario was kind of even at that point, like he was having a good year that year.
[00:51:57] Speaker B: But he had a great year with Joe Flack.
I mean, that's what they were that.
[00:52:02] Speaker C: Sorry, but they were saying Jerry Judy has had like, in his six seasons, he had six different quarterbacks. He's never had a consistent quarterback thrown to him.
[00:52:10] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the wrong place to get.
[00:52:11] Speaker B: A consistent quarterback throwing you. That's a good set of raw deal.
[00:52:15] Speaker A: Because imagine if I would have had.
[00:52:16] Speaker B: Someone good doing a lot out there in Denver.
[00:52:18] Speaker A: But real quick, we're not going to spend a lot of time on this. I'm just moving forward because we got to get going.
Trade targets here. There. There are trade rumors. There's always trade rumors, big trade rumors with the Browns, it's just how it is. But Micah Parsons is one and Terry McLaurin are the other. Is the other one. So you think there's any truth behind any of these rumors and do you think there's any realistic possibility that we could land either of those guys?
[00:52:40] Speaker B: I love the idea of bringing either or both of those guys here.
There's zero chance it's going to happen because the Browns still. Still have an enormous, like, dead cat problem. Like, it's just not. It's not feasible and this team's not going to contend. So the only thing you can offer these guys is money, which we really just don't have a lot to just throw around.
[00:53:03] Speaker A: Right.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: To bring in guys like that. So as much as it would be super cool, like, yeah, I'll probably trade for him in Madden, but like, it's not gonna happen in the real world.
[00:53:13] Speaker A: Absolutely.
Yeah. I mean, I'm kind of with you. I don't think either of them is going to happen.
If there's one I would like to see, it's actually, you guys know I'm a huge Ohio State fan, but it would actually be Mike Michael Parsons, like, oh, yeah. Because to have a dominant rusher. I've said this. I Said this all off season before the draft and everything, as that's like my pipe dream for the Browns. Like just have a dominant rusher opposite of Miles Garrett to where you can't double team him every single time because there's this guy over here that you have to worry about. He's never had that. Even with Jadavian Clowney. And Jadavian Clown. He was playing well, you didn't have to double team Jadevian Clowney. You could still double, double team Garrett. And maybe he took a little bit of, you know, pressure off him or whatever, but. Well, like, have a true, like, dominant force on the opposite side would be amazing.
[00:54:00] Speaker B: And as much as I love scary Terry and as much as like Denzel was, you know, lobbying to bring him here, he's in the analytics world. He's gonna be 30 in September, you know, so this just.
[00:54:11] Speaker A: That already tells you the Browns probably are not real high on him.
[00:54:14] Speaker B: Yeah, well, in. In the fact we really haven't seen a lot of, you know, receivers post 30, put up big numbers in recent history that. I mean, a lot of teams had success with the wide receivers, but younger guys, they got.
[00:54:26] Speaker A: They kind of.
One of my reinforced their belief in that with Amari Cooper. Because Amari Cooper fell off a cliff as soon as they got rid of him.
[00:54:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:54:34] Speaker A: So, I mean, I guess it was kind of why we still had him. And then we traded him, but.
[00:54:40] Speaker B: He was disgruntled.
[00:54:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I already talked about PFF ranking us as the worst team in the league. Are we the worst team?
Are we the worst team? That was the question that was going to go with that. Are we the worst?
[00:54:50] Speaker B: Not yet, but we will be.
[00:54:52] Speaker A: Do you think we finish this season as the worst?
[00:54:56] Speaker B: So much of it depends on the quarterback room, right? I mean, if. If Dylan Gabriel is the truth and he wins nine games this year, then you won't be the worst team in the league.
But if Joe Flacco plays four games, Dylan Gabriel plays four games, Cheder Sanders plays four games, and then Kenny Pickett finishes a season. Yeah, you're probably the team in the NFL.
[00:55:17] Speaker A: What's your guy?
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Deshaun Watson comes in a week 17, 18.
Yeah, you're probably the worst.
[00:55:22] Speaker C: Another five quarterback season.
[00:55:24] Speaker A: Dylan Gabriel being the truth. I can't believe you had used the nickname the Truth Ben Tate. That's the only other guy I've ever heard.
[00:55:32] Speaker B: You got burned on that one.
[00:55:35] Speaker A: Big time.
[00:55:36] Speaker B: I told Ben Tate he was the truth on Facebook every day for a whole year. I was so excited. And he Just totally flamed out as.
[00:55:44] Speaker A: Soon as he got here.
[00:55:46] Speaker C: I was excited for him, too. He's going be great.
[00:55:48] Speaker B: He was good.
[00:55:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Ben Tate. That guy's pretty good.
[00:55:53] Speaker B: I miss Ben Tate. I wonder what Ben Tate's doing right now.
[00:55:56] Speaker A: Ben Tate, if you're listening.
[00:55:58] Speaker B: You're not.
Let's get him on.
[00:56:02] Speaker A: All right. That's my goal this year.
[00:56:03] Speaker B: We got to get Ben.
[00:56:04] Speaker A: Former Browns running back Ben Tate.
[00:56:06] Speaker B: I'm excited about. I want Ben Tate.
[00:56:08] Speaker A: I'll see what I can do.
[00:56:08] Speaker B: I still like Ben. He just didn't. He didn't.
[00:56:11] Speaker A: Please don't listen to this year.
[00:56:13] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:56:14] Speaker A: Did he not make it a full year?
[00:56:16] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:56:16] Speaker A: Half a year.
[00:56:16] Speaker B: I have to look. He's the truth, though.
[00:56:18] Speaker A: Please don't listen to this episode before he. Come on.
[00:56:20] Speaker B: I'm not saying anything bad about Ben. I still like Ben Tate. I still think he's the truth.
[00:56:23] Speaker A: He just wasn't the truth here.
[00:56:24] Speaker B: It just didn't work out here. Which. Hey, who was the last person that Cleveland worked out for?
[00:56:29] Speaker A: I was going to say if you. You were going to say running back, and then you changed it to person because nobody works out.
[00:56:34] Speaker B: It worked out great for Baker Mayfield. And we were like, that ain't good enough.
[00:56:38] Speaker C: Yeah, we're not looking just to be good. We want to win Super Bowls.
[00:56:41] Speaker B: He's taking the team to the playoffs and winning playoff games. And we're like, what is this?
[00:56:45] Speaker A: Like, we need to upgrade.
[00:56:46] Speaker B: Upgrade.
[00:56:47] Speaker A: Greed is one of the. The deadly sins, isn't it?
[00:56:50] Speaker C: It's up there.
[00:56:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:56:51] Speaker C: It's not good.
[00:56:52] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what happened from our resident, the theologian over there. It's not good.
[00:56:58] Speaker C: Ginger Berry. Another reason you suck.
[00:57:01] Speaker A: Anyways, let's do a quick preseason. I call it air quotes. Preview. Preview. Here's our preview for the Browns vs. Panthers this week, which will come. Which will be the day after this comes out.
Are you guys looking at anybody in this game? Like, who. Who are you excited to see? Like, give me one guy that you want to see what they can do.
[00:57:19] Speaker B: I. I'll let you guys go first.
[00:57:21] Speaker A: Bone, we'll start with you. Just anybody.
[00:57:23] Speaker C: First guy I thought of was Cedric Tillman.
[00:57:24] Speaker B: Is.
[00:57:24] Speaker C: Is this the year he's going to show us? He's a number one wide receiver every year.
[00:57:28] Speaker A: Is this the year he's got the same problem that. That scary Terry or Jerry Judy's gonna have is who. The. Who's throwing in the ball?
So I think that. Yeah, I got you, Cedric. Tillman. That's a good one. Make a break. Make or break year for him, right?
[00:57:43] Speaker B: We need a guy like Tillman to step up and be a compliment to your. I mean, he has the tools. They. They didn't sc.
[00:57:50] Speaker A: If I had a quarter for every time I heard that somebody had the tools in Cleveland.
[00:57:55] Speaker B: He would probably be a plumber.
[00:57:56] Speaker A: Like, like everybody here has the tools. And we ain't built since like 1984.
[00:58:01] Speaker B: We're building a new stadium.
[00:58:03] Speaker A: We ain't got the tools, which I.
[00:58:05] Speaker B: Am against now, by the way.
[00:58:07] Speaker A: Tell us why. Tell us why.
[00:58:09] Speaker B: I have been on the record as a stalwart advocate for moving to Brook park and building the dog.
[00:58:14] Speaker A: He was so stalwart. He was an advocate instead of an advocate.
[00:58:17] Speaker C: You see, like the price tag or something.
[00:58:20] Speaker B: No tickets. Here's what happened.
I'll tell you what happened.
[00:58:26] Speaker A: I sent the story to you.
[00:58:27] Speaker B: Bone against this.
You did.
[00:58:30] Speaker A: You commented on it, but you didn't read it.
[00:58:32] Speaker B: Long time.
Cleveland iconic eery. Captain Taco.
[00:58:38] Speaker A: Not Captain Taco.
[00:58:39] Speaker B: Captain Taco is being forced into closure because. Because their land lease essentially wasn't renewed by the proprietor because the home is coming to Brook park and they know the Haslams are going to come call.
[00:58:55] Speaker A: They're going to probably build a parking.
[00:58:56] Speaker B: Lot there at least. And they're going to make way more money off of that than Captain tacos. You know, $2,000 a month they get from selling nitro sauce.
And that will burn your bottom. But it is delicious.
[00:59:07] Speaker A: No more. It will burn your bottom.
[00:59:09] Speaker B: No more. I mean, this place has been open for 50 years in Cleveland. And I swear to you, like, it is not a place. Like, it's literally across.
[00:59:18] Speaker A: Did it say when it actually closes?
[00:59:20] Speaker B: August 12th or 14th. So we got.
[00:59:22] Speaker A: I gotta get there.
[00:59:22] Speaker B: Some tacos.
[00:59:23] Speaker A: Burning River Sportscast road trip live from Gatton Taco.
[00:59:27] Speaker B: I mean, this place does not look like a place you want to go in and especially eat inside of. It's across the street from, like, the dirtiest strip clubs.
[00:59:35] Speaker A: You've instantly talked me out of this.
[00:59:38] Speaker B: It looks like a public, you know, restroom on the outside. And when you go in, which I don't even think they reopened their dining room after covet. But when you go. When you used to go into Captain Taco, there was about eight seats in the dining room. So it just had a real homey feel. They've got all kinds of, you know, who's home.
[00:59:57] Speaker A: Like that person that, you know, that's.
[00:59:59] Speaker B: Really dirty, like Top Gun, you know, chops, keys, and signs and stuff. And it was just a cool, fun, very, like, Cleveland place. And they make the best damn taco you've ever had.
[01:00:11] Speaker A: Let me get this straight. You just named all that stuff? You said, this is the most Cleveland place.
All the things are terrible.
[01:00:18] Speaker B: I'm saying it doesn't look appealing, but it is delicious. There you go. It is an absolute gem.
[01:00:24] Speaker A: I get what you're laying down for.
[01:00:24] Speaker B: Where it's at, the part of town that it's like. It is an absolute iconic gem.
[01:00:30] Speaker A: And.
[01:00:30] Speaker B: And, like, let's be honest, they're probably struggling, but they're not out of business. They're being forced to close because they can't stay in their building anymore, which is a damn shame.
[01:00:40] Speaker C: And they're not reopening somewhere else.
[01:00:42] Speaker B: They're not really in a position to, like, reinvent themselves. Like, they don't have. Probably don't have the capital stuff for that, so.
[01:00:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:00:47] Speaker B: But it's just a shame because it was. They really do make the best taco in Cleveland anywhere, for my money. I mean, I love a trashy taco.
[01:00:56] Speaker C: I think we should start a campaign that the Haslam should buy them a food truck.
[01:00:59] Speaker B: They should at least. Well, that's. I saw, like, some, like, joking, like, maybe they, like, have a Captain Taco in the stadium. Yeah, like, they could open the taco stand as, like, a cool. You know, in.
[01:01:08] Speaker A: In Haslam land, they open a Captain Taco in Cleveland. Brown Stadium. I'm sure Jimmy. Everyone would spend the entire game themselves.
[01:01:16] Speaker B: I'm sure, Jimmy, we would really be the Browns.
Brown helmets, brown tacos, brown stadium, brown toilet bowl.
I'm sure Jimmy has a cash injection, though, that could keep them afloat for a while. So I would. I would like to see them resurrect them in some way. Nothing else but a food truck, as I say, would be awesome, but it's.
[01:01:35] Speaker A: Got a lot of unclaimed funds. If I.
[01:01:38] Speaker B: A lot of rebate money.
[01:01:39] Speaker A: People out there.
[01:01:42] Speaker B: I. I'm devastated that Captain Taco's closing. So I am now against the movie.
[01:01:46] Speaker A: We went down this rabbit hole. But the. The question was, who are you looking forward to seeing the preseason game? We got. We. We got from our. Our Boardman, the bone man.
[01:01:56] Speaker C: Mr. Tillman.
[01:01:57] Speaker A: Mr. Tillman. Cedric Tillman. I'm gonna go with.
Not that I like him and I want to see him play, but I'm gonna go with Dylan Gabriel because I just kind of want to put him out of his misery. I don't know if he's gonna play. Because he's got a hamstring issue now.
Like, I'm just ready for this guy to be done. Like, just I want everybody to see him and, and for the first impression that everybody gets him is he's going against like four string guys and he still can only complete 25 of his passives. Like, I'm done with it. So I. Dylan G. Gabriel's my guy.
[01:02:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, no surprise. I mean, every preseason game, if you ask me this three times, all during the pre. Like, it's the quarterback room. I, I don't have, I don't have a dog in the fight. Like, somebody's gotta play well. Somebody has to become the starter before week one. I don't know who it's going to be. I don't know who's going to play themselves out of a job or into a trade or. And look, let's be honest, there's a lot of talk about, oh, the Browns have five quarterbacks, they're going to have to trade one of them. No team in the NFL is going to entertain a trade because know they're gonna have to cut some of these guys. You can't take five quarterbacks into the. In your active roster in the season. So.
But for me, it's just the watching. With this debacle at quarterback play out, I don't know who's going to play well, play poorly, and I just can't wait to watch it because it's the one kind of interesting storyline outside of the fact that this team is just not going to be very good this year.
[01:03:16] Speaker A: They're not going to be good.
And with that quick AFC north news, the Steelers have DK Metcalf. They also have Aaron Rodgers. Apparently he's looked like hot Garner garbage so far, but apparently Will Howard has looked good, which we all called over here.
[01:03:28] Speaker B: So I heard he trimmed down and was eating vegan and stuff and he was like feeling like he was 25.
[01:03:34] Speaker A: He may feel that way.
Literally every report out of camp is like, the Steelers are alarmed at how terrible Aaron Rodgers is. Wow. So look. But Will Howard looks good, apparently.
[01:03:46] Speaker B: I mean, a bad Aaron Rodgers is still probably better than any quarterback has played in Cleveland the last 20 years.
[01:03:52] Speaker A: Plus, miles Garrett jinxed the Browns. They asked him about Aaron Rodgers being in the AFC north and he said, sounds like a chance to put him in the graveyard. So we're probably gonna get beat by 40 each time we play.
[01:04:02] Speaker C: How much taller is Will Howard than Dylan Gabriel?
[01:04:04] Speaker A: Probably like 6ft 8 inches. Yeah, I think it's like 8 inches. Yeah, I. I think it legitimately is. I think he's like. Like six. Six. And Dylan Gabriel's. Yeah.
Yeah. So, yeah, I think he's. I think they list him at 5, 10 and he's really fighting because there's ain't no way he's as tall as me.
[01:04:19] Speaker B: No, there's no way he's as tall as Johnny Manzet.
[01:04:22] Speaker A: No.
[01:04:22] Speaker B: No.
[01:04:23] Speaker A: So.
But. Yeah, so that's. The Steelers do have Mike Tomlin still, so they'll probably be at least 500.
[01:04:28] Speaker B: Yeah, they'll be 500. They'll probably make the playoffs. They won't win a playoff game, but they'll make the playoffs.
[01:04:32] Speaker A: Yeah, the Ravens are still the Ravens. Nif them being good wasn't enough.
They are also one of the top candidates to land Micah Parsons if he actually becomes available, which makes total sense. Yeah.
[01:04:41] Speaker B: Would be a perfect fit in Baltimore.
[01:04:43] Speaker A: Yep. And then the Bengals, they're apparently the top pick team to return to the postseason this year, but again, they don't have an offensive line and they're Bengals, so.
[01:04:54] Speaker B: I mean, Joe Burrow can cover up a lot. Yeah, I. I think this. They could be one of the worst. Like, when you think about, like, other Browns, the worst team in the NFL this year, I think the Bengals could be in the top 10, like bottom 10, all accounts. Unless Joe Burrow just. But he played out of his mind last year. They started slow, but I'm having deja.
[01:05:12] Speaker A: Vu with them because a lot of people were talking them up last year, if you remember, and they talked about how great their defense was all through the preseason. All leading up the season, their defense was one of the worst in the NFL. So. Yeah, I mean, I think it's going to be that way again.
[01:05:24] Speaker B: I don't know. Yeah. I don't have a lot of faith.
[01:05:25] Speaker A: But anyways, that's. That's the.
[01:05:27] Speaker B: Those are the two.
[01:05:27] Speaker A: They'll all finish ahead of us. The Browns are finishing last.
[01:05:29] Speaker B: Those are the two games that we'll probably win as the Bengals.
[01:05:31] Speaker A: And we'll still finish last.
[01:05:32] Speaker B: We'll still finish.
[01:05:34] Speaker C: So are the Bengals just still getting super bowl love from whatever four or five years ago when that was? I. I feel like that they still.
[01:05:42] Speaker A: Are just riding because Joe Burrow's still there.
Took him to a Super bowl, so.
[01:05:45] Speaker B: Yeah, but.
[01:05:46] Speaker A: And he truly. I mean, he is, let's be honest, he's one of the best quarterbacks there.
[01:05:51] Speaker B: I mean, they've got some talent on that.
[01:05:53] Speaker A: I just.
[01:05:53] Speaker B: I don't think outside of the quarterback and wide receiver.
Like I don't think they have anything else that puts them in the top tiers of the. I mean, to compete with teams like Kansas City. Like, no, it's not. Or with Baltimore. Like, I don't see that.
[01:06:07] Speaker A: I agree. So the Browns are going to suck. But here's some exciting news. Burger Sportscast is giving away a David Najoku autographed jersey this year. So that's right. For the third year in a row we are giving away autograph brackets, Miles memorabilia. We usually do it during the off season. This year we're gonna do it to kick off season four for us.
And. And we kind of, I kind of mentioned it earlier. I kind of let the cat out of the bag. But we're also going to do a Miles Garrett sign something giveaway later this season as well. Yes.
[01:06:34] Speaker B: But this is actually really big news though.
[01:06:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:06:37] Speaker B: Because this is in coordination with a new show sponsor.
[01:06:41] Speaker A: Yes.
So the David Najoku autograph jersey was provided by Prime Time Sports and Framing located a stone's throw from Tapp over there in Kent, Ohio. So they are located in Kent. They have a location in the Belton Village Mall. They do a lot of autograph signings out of there. They do a lot of autographs signing like shows all across the country. So you'll hear us on our social media and on here talking about them and the different shows they have coming up.
[01:07:11] Speaker B: If there was anything you ever wanted, that was Brown's memorabilia. Like, yeah, this, these guys have it.
[01:07:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Matter of fact, this weekend they have a meet and greet autograph signing event with Sophie Cunningham and Lex Lexi hall of the Indiana Fever in the wnba. If you're not familiar with who that is. So that's a. It's taking place in Indianapolis, Indiana. Like I said, they travel the country. They do a lot around here. They especially do a lot with the Cleveland Browns. So check them out. Also, if you have any gear that you need framed. That's one of their biggest services that they provide is framing.
We don't have it up yet, but we got something coming for the studio so you guys will see that. And just so you guys, a quick preview, preview, preview for anybody watching the YouTube cut, we do have the. You can see it here. We're, we're actually going to self frame this one for you guys. But we got a David Ajoku signed jersey number 85 there. See the autograph. Kind of see it. I don't know if you can see it, name on the back, but yeah. So embroidered Real nice. Real nice.
[01:08:14] Speaker B: It's real nice.
[01:08:15] Speaker A: Got it. Prime time sports, but we'll be giving that away. So how do we get entered, Kenny.
[01:08:22] Speaker B: How do we get entered?
[01:08:23] Speaker A: We got to be subscribed on YouTube.
[01:08:24] Speaker B: You have to be subscribed on YouTube.
[01:08:26] Speaker A: Because it's a giveaway for our YouTube subscribers.
[01:08:28] Speaker B: Can't be entered.
[01:08:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I. I'll post on. Just keep an eye out on our social media. By the end of this week, there'll be some details out there about how you can earn bonus entries with the other other social media platforms that we're on.
[01:08:41] Speaker B: The only requirement to be entered is to follow us.
[01:08:44] Speaker A: Correct? Correct. So, yeah, the handle there at bur sportscast, that's YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Tick tock. Tick tock. Look for top. Look for at Burning reports. Cast to burn your pod if you're on X Finally here. Let's. Let's. Let's kind of wrap things up. You want to. You want to do the. What have you learned?
[01:09:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it's been a long off season. Right. So obviously a lot of Browns news, which we just covered, but there's just also been a lot of stuff going on. So let me ask you, Bone, it's been a long offseason. What have you learned?
[01:09:17] Speaker C: H.
You know, one of the more consistent things I did over this off season was read Harry Potter.
[01:09:25] Speaker A: Nice to.
[01:09:25] Speaker C: To my kids. And the books are.
[01:09:27] Speaker A: I know that you learned about. I know you weren't impressed with the movies, Kenny. The books are so much better. You got to read them, dude.
[01:09:33] Speaker C: That's what I learned. It's like I'm watching these movies and, you know, we'll read the book and then we'll watch the movie. And it. They leave everything out. Everything.
[01:09:40] Speaker A: And the movies, I think, are solid. I actually really enjoy them.
[01:09:43] Speaker C: I liked them growing up.
[01:09:44] Speaker A: The books are so much fun.
[01:09:45] Speaker C: But, yeah, so I've been nerding out on that and I'm to the HBO series now that they're coming out with because I think it's going to be you.
[01:09:51] Speaker A: You'll be able to get more detail.
[01:09:52] Speaker C: Way more intense, way more detail.
[01:09:53] Speaker A: It'll be a little bit darker that I think than the. The. The movies were.
[01:09:57] Speaker C: So just something I can do with my kids. And maybe one day we'll do the Universal thing.
[01:10:01] Speaker B: But are they bringing Universal? They bring back the actual guy that looks like Harry Potter?
[01:10:05] Speaker C: No, it's all new. All new characters. I think they already have it planned, you know, for them to get older as they film it.
[01:10:11] Speaker B: You know, I Mean, if there was ever a person that was born to be Typecast, he literally looks like the drawing on the.
[01:10:17] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Universal's dope, by the way. We've been there multiple times.
[01:10:23] Speaker C: Awesome. Yeah, I've heard it's sweet. And then the whole epic and everything with the new Harry Potter stuff, you know, we want to go do that one day. But the guy who plays Trinity Killer in, In Dexter Lithgow. Yeah. He's playing Dumbledore in the new series on hbo.
[01:10:36] Speaker B: Wow.
[01:10:37] Speaker A: I actually can't even picture that, so I'm gonna have to.
[01:10:40] Speaker C: I'm excited.
[01:10:42] Speaker A: He's a good actor and I like John Lithgow a lot, so we'll see how he. Hopefully he does it. Well, instead of. In the movies, they make Dumbledore like the, you know. You know, I'm talking about like the infamous scene where he screams at Harry Potter when he's like the most gentle, nice guy in the books and. Yeah, yeah.
[01:10:56] Speaker B: I just.
[01:10:56] Speaker A: The.
[01:10:56] Speaker B: The Harry Potter universe is so expansive.
[01:11:00] Speaker C: I'm in it. I'm in it now, man. I love it.
[01:11:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, it's too much. It feels like too much of a commitment to try to be a part of it because I had to learn so, so much. It's like my head is full of uses like American history and world history, geography and stupid like. Like other things that I just don't.
[01:11:17] Speaker A: In general. I. I think you're more of a non fiction type of guy. Well, it's like.
[01:11:20] Speaker B: It's like Tolkien in the whole like middle age.
[01:11:22] Speaker A: Don't even get me started. We could be here all night just. Or I'm actually reading the Silmarillion right now, so.
[01:11:27] Speaker B: Or even the mcu. Like it's so much investment to just learn relearning the laws of gravity inside of these worlds.
[01:11:36] Speaker A: Like the Silmarillion covers. Like it's something stupid like 4, 800 years of history.
[01:11:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Like I can't. It's.
[01:11:43] Speaker C: I've listened to it. I'm lost in it.
[01:11:46] Speaker A: We'll talk about. That's another. That's another one.
[01:11:49] Speaker C: That was a long time.
[01:11:50] Speaker A: If you take the time to like understand it and like get to that, like the, The. The story of Lord of the Rings and like all of Middle Earth and everything is just so in depth that you could spend a lot of time there.
[01:12:01] Speaker B: Like the trilogy of. The original trilogy of movie, like was.
Was in depth enough that I was like. Was immersed.
[01:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:12:08] Speaker B: And I was like, I. I could live in R alert.
[01:12:10] Speaker A: Listen, the movies had a few Mistakes. But the, the score to that movie was the best score ever written for.
[01:12:16] Speaker B: And they were great. And even the, even the, A lot of the special effects and stuff, like those movies were made in the early 2000s. They still hold up pretty good.
[01:12:24] Speaker A: The one that doesn't is Legolas sliding down a elephant. But, you know, it's not actually called an elephant.
[01:12:29] Speaker B: I forget.
[01:12:29] Speaker A: But the Legolas sliding down, I think looks pretty crazy now, but.
[01:12:32] Speaker B: Well, it's Middle Earth.
[01:12:33] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it's Middle Earth.
[01:12:39] Speaker B: I mean, I commend you guys for, for having the patience and the, you know, wherewithal. Just work through those. Because it just. To me, to me, getting that invested just feels like work.
[01:12:48] Speaker A: Well, I love reading, so I, I literally.
[01:12:50] Speaker B: You are a big reader.
[01:12:52] Speaker C: I, I like, I never read the book, so I like reading them now and then. It's just something I get to do with my girls.
[01:12:59] Speaker A: It's an easy thing to read. Like, it was such a big task when you were younger. Now it's like an easy thing to read to them. Yeah.
[01:13:04] Speaker B: I feel like you come into reading more as an adult too, because we didn't read a lot as kids.
[01:13:08] Speaker C: No, not at all.
[01:13:09] Speaker B: And I still don't. I mean, I read essays and news and things like that, but I can't, I can't like, sit down and read a 300 page book. Like, I just can't.
[01:13:17] Speaker A: I mean, we.
[01:13:18] Speaker C: Cliff noted everything.
We didn't read that.
[01:13:21] Speaker B: Spark notes.
[01:13:22] Speaker C: Spark notes. Yeah.
[01:13:25] Speaker B: Nice.
[01:13:25] Speaker A: Well, now you just have AI Boom.
[01:13:27] Speaker B: And I'll just read it to you. You just ask, what was the green light in the Great Gatsby?
AI is like, I got this one.
[01:13:36] Speaker A: So you learned that you Harry Potter books? Yeah. Is that what you learned? Yep. Okay.
[01:13:39] Speaker B: I like that.
[01:13:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay.
[01:13:41] Speaker B: Red Hot Ronnie Jams. It's been a long off season. What have you learned?
[01:13:44] Speaker A: I learned that the Epstein files didn't exist.
[01:13:48] Speaker B: Here we go.
[01:13:49] Speaker A: And he really did kill himself, so.
[01:13:51] Speaker B: You know, the biggest conspiracy outside of.
[01:13:54] Speaker A: The moon landing is not a conspiracy at all.
[01:13:57] Speaker B: Not a conspiracy at all.
[01:13:58] Speaker A: Nothing to see here.
[01:14:01] Speaker B: Yeah, that was a shocker.
[01:14:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:14:04] Speaker B: Nothing to see.
[01:14:04] Speaker A: No, to be honest, I. I learned that if anybody tells you that it's not that hard going from one kid to two, they're lying.
It's hard.
[01:14:14] Speaker B: Like, it's like Lion.
[01:14:16] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's, it's, it's, it's hard. They're really lying. Yeah, they're really lying.
But no, I mean, it's been great. And I'm not I'm. That's not a complaint at all. It's just.
[01:14:28] Speaker B: You want to give them back.
[01:14:30] Speaker A: No, not at all. You start over.
[01:14:32] Speaker B: Do it. Do a.
[01:14:32] Speaker A: Do over. No, it's not a complaint.
[01:14:34] Speaker B: Do another one.
[01:14:35] Speaker A: It's not a complaint at all. I. I love my kids, but it's just. It. I mean, it's just so tight. Like, it's. It's hard, it's difficult. It takes all of your attention, all of your energy and.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just saying it is what it is. And. And I love having my kids, and I love them, and they're awesome.
But.
Yeah, I mean, it's just one of the hard. I'm drained all the time that, like.
[01:15:01] Speaker B: There'S really no good way to prepare for it.
[01:15:03] Speaker A: No.
[01:15:04] Speaker B: And all of a sudden, you're responsible for other human life and. And teaching them everything they're ever gonna know.
[01:15:10] Speaker A: And the weirdest thing is that people told me this all the time. I never understood it until I was dead. Like, the smallest thing, and you're like, ah, this is why I'm a dad. Like, this is awesome.
[01:15:20] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. It is rewarding in that way because, like, I wouldn't back and forth for a while. I mean, we put off having. Having kids for a minute. And, you know, it was good, like, from a career standpoint. We got the travel and stuff when we first met, married, but, like, I wish we had done it earlier now that I have my own. It's.
You can't really explain it, but it is. But it is hard. And it is, like, so much pressure in just the job of being dad. Like, you go from, you know, husband and, you know, you know, supporter and doing stuff around the house and whatever, but to, like, I'm literally in charge of making sure you're alive, and that's not a burden that anyone should have. And the thing is, we've been doing it for millennia, and we still. You don't really know. Like, kids grow up to be serial killers.
[01:16:05] Speaker A: Like, nobody told us times they grow.
[01:16:07] Speaker B: Up to be the President of the United States.
[01:16:08] Speaker A: Like, what. What did you do leading up to? Like, I. We literally ask everybody, like, what advice do you have? And people would give you the surface level like, this, that.
No idea. Once it started, I was like, what the hell did I get myself into?
[01:16:21] Speaker B: You just make it up as you go.
[01:16:22] Speaker A: Yeah, but I mean, it. It's. It is awesome. That's not to dissuade anybody from having a second kid.
It's so much fun. It's awesome. The way our daughter interacts with our son is just awesome to see.
[01:16:32] Speaker B: So the worst part is these kids have full hearted trust in you.
[01:16:36] Speaker A: Oh yeah.
Ill placed.
[01:16:38] Speaker B: You are the safety blanket.
[01:16:40] Speaker A: Ill place.
[01:16:41] Speaker B: You can fix anything, you can make anything better.
[01:16:43] Speaker A: My kids worlds are going to be rocks when they grow up and they realize they're like we were doing. Wow. We thought dad walked on water. The rest of the world thought he was a complete idiot.
[01:16:53] Speaker B: Cuz I could still go back to my childhood.
[01:16:55] Speaker A: He had this Browns podcast and he just didn't make any sense.
[01:16:58] Speaker B: And like I did. I looked at my dad, my mom the same way. It's like, man, they just know everything. Like they just can do anything.
[01:17:05] Speaker A: Let's be fair.
Now that we're older, we know Ted was faking it.
[01:17:11] Speaker B: But. But like you grow up with that, just that innocence of like, man, like they just, they had this all planned.
[01:17:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:17:17] Speaker B: Then you're in that position and you're like, you are totally winging it, doing the best you can every day. Yeah. It's a wild experience.
[01:17:25] Speaker A: It is. So that's what I learned. That's what I learned. If you're thinking about having a second kid, just do it. It. It's awesome. But yeah, I mean, I.
It's hard. Kenny, what'd you learn?
[01:17:37] Speaker B: I learned.
And. And I'm not condoning cheating on your spouse.
[01:17:43] Speaker A: Oh God.
We went from mine to yours. This. Things got dark fast.
[01:17:48] Speaker B: Condoning cheating on your spouse.
[01:17:50] Speaker A: How does it, how do we always just turn into just like, you're the worst human being I know.
[01:17:57] Speaker B: But here, here's what I've learned. If you are cheating on your spouse in a public forum.
[01:18:04] Speaker A: I see where this is going.
[01:18:06] Speaker B: And the camera lands on you.
[01:18:08] Speaker A: Play it cool.
[01:18:09] Speaker B: Don't react.
Don't react. The worst thing you can do is go, oh God.
[01:18:18] Speaker A: Everybody scatter. Everybody sees us.
[01:18:21] Speaker B: Like, if he just would have just, just carried on, like, no one would probably know you exist. But the moment you go no.
[01:18:30] Speaker A: You'Re.
[01:18:30] Speaker B: Out and in front of everybody, you're a meme forever.
[01:18:33] Speaker C: I can't believe they, like, they blame the, the singer of the band.
[01:18:36] Speaker A: Like in his statement, he was like, I think this is ridiculous that they would do that.
Okay, well, I think it's ridiculous you would cheat on your wife, you piece of.
[01:18:46] Speaker B: It just seems like a good life lesson though. Like if you're doing something you're not supposed to and you end up getting, you know, in a public forum on.
[01:18:53] Speaker A: The jumbo draw, play it cool.
[01:18:55] Speaker B: Just act like you're supposed to be there.
[01:18:58] Speaker C: Isn't it just amazing how something like that becomes like a world news? You know what I mean? And just like every single person on the planet knows about this.
[01:19:08] Speaker A: How bad do you think?
[01:19:09] Speaker B: Like, like planking, like when that was a thing, like, that's the equivalent.
[01:19:12] Speaker A: I am not at all saying I feel bad for this guy.
Not at all. But how, how wild is it that this dude spent his entire life building up this company? Like creating this company. He's a co founder. Create this company.
[01:19:22] Speaker B: Built it up all thrown away over a cold blade.
[01:19:26] Speaker A: Wow, you really up, bro.
[01:19:28] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Like, I feel bad for like the kids especially. It's like it sucks. Like dad's this, you know, I don't.
[01:19:35] Speaker A: Feel bad for him at all. I feel bad for the kids. I feel bad for the kids and I feel bad for his wife, his ex wife, soon to be ex wife. And I don't feel bad for him.
[01:19:42] Speaker B: But like the Internet can just not let this go. I mean, to the point where now it's like a thing. It's like the kiss cam at games.
[01:19:48] Speaker A: Coldplay went back to it and Coldplay in their next one was like, ah, you guys belong together. Like, and then the Phillies, the mascots did it there is that we were.
[01:19:58] Speaker B: They're all doing in the stadium now. It's like you put it. Put people on the camera and they're like, oh, no.
[01:20:02] Speaker A: Like to the point where it's almost overdone.
[01:20:04] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[01:20:04] Speaker A: And now we're talking overdone now. Now we're talking about it.
[01:20:08] Speaker B: That's what we do here on the Burninger Sportscast. We overdo it. Yeah, that's what I learned this off season.
[01:20:12] Speaker C: That's how we should open the show.
[01:20:13] Speaker A: If you.
[01:20:14] Speaker B: You guys.
[01:20:14] Speaker A: Can we overdo it?
[01:20:15] Speaker B: We overdo it.
[01:20:18] Speaker A: All right. And so this season you also want to bring in. You told me about this before the show. You wanted to start a new segment, right? Yeah.
[01:20:25] Speaker B: Well, we'll probably mix in some new segments here and there, but just we'll.
[01:20:28] Speaker A: Rotate our segments a little bit.
[01:20:29] Speaker B: I think we'll get back to some of our, you know, our Star wars as the regular season picks up.
[01:20:34] Speaker A: But this one, this one's called can we talk about this?
[01:20:37] Speaker B: Yeah, can we talk about this?
What are we talking about?
[01:20:40] Speaker A: We gotta pause for a second, Sounder. Oh, can we talk about this? Can we talk about this?
[01:20:54] Speaker C: Is this like touchy subjects or is this just like.
[01:20:57] Speaker A: This could be anything. This could be anything that needs to be talked about. Okay. This is Just. And I, and okay, so I'm gonna do the first one here and this probably isn't what you were going for, but this is what I'm going to talk about because I was looking for a place to put this into the show show this week and I couldn't find one until you brought this segment to my attention. So I had a close family member that was in the hospital for an extended stay recently. Right. Like some serious self health problems. Like they were in there for a while.
[01:21:23] Speaker B: Sure.
[01:21:25] Speaker A: I go to visit them.
[01:21:26] Speaker B: I can already tell this is going to be fun.
[01:21:28] Speaker A: I go, I go to visit them and the first thing that they say is, oh, I was mortified.
This, this new nurse came in and the first thing he did was he had to wipe the. My ass.
And I, I looked at him and I said, ah, real power move, huh?
He walks in the door first thing on his shift. He said, wipe my ass. I said, did you look him in the eye while you were doing it?
And so my question, can we talk about this? Is, is making like if, if you, they were unable to do it, if you're able to do it, would you still make the nurse at the hospital wipe your ass? Just as a power move. That's where I'm going.
[01:22:10] Speaker B: Would I make a nurse wipe my ass for no reason?
[01:22:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[01:22:15] Speaker B: Just to establish dominance.
[01:22:17] Speaker A: Yes. And that was the line I used that said, I said, establishing dominance. Huh?
We, you got to really, you got to, you got to show them the pecking order. Right? From the, like you answer to me is, is your ass shitty?
Yeah, yeah.
[01:22:34] Speaker B: Like you should, you should.
[01:22:35] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[01:22:37] Speaker B: So you shit yourself on purpose to make someone wipe your ass in this scenario. You didn't call, you didn't call the nurse button. You didn't ask for a latrine Myself right here to establish my dominance, my dominion over you.
[01:22:54] Speaker A: You see why it's good.
[01:22:55] Speaker B: You are an hourly employee and you will wipe my ass because I am in this bed.
[01:23:02] Speaker A: Right. Real power move. That's. I what I said, no, my family member was, was incapable at the moment. But I'm saying now it's giving me ideas for future states.
So what, what, what are your thoughts here?
[01:23:15] Speaker B: I honestly am flabbergasted.
[01:23:18] Speaker C: Yeah, you can't do that.
[01:23:19] Speaker A: You can't do that.
[01:23:21] Speaker C: Can't do that.
[01:23:22] Speaker A: You can't establish dominance.
I really thought Kenny would be all for this. I thought he would be like, yes.
[01:23:27] Speaker B: Is there another way to establish.
[01:23:29] Speaker A: Establish dominance?
That was my question. Like, like once you're in there you're in pretty vulnerable spots. So how do you. How do you win back the power?
[01:23:37] Speaker C: You order extra food.
[01:23:39] Speaker A: That's it?
[01:23:40] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:23:40] Speaker A: That's weak, man.
[01:23:41] Speaker C: No, it's not.
[01:23:45] Speaker B: Like, could you pee on the floor?
[01:23:48] Speaker A: Where do we draw the line? You say, I can't tell the nurse to wipe my ass, but I could tell the kitchen to make me more food.
[01:23:55] Speaker B: You are an hourly employee. You will make me an extra cheeseburger.
[01:23:59] Speaker A: Like, how is that different?
[01:24:00] Speaker B: It's paying $2,000 a night to stay here in this place.
[01:24:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm just curious.
[01:24:05] Speaker C: One's really gross.
[01:24:07] Speaker B: I want some extra ham, damn it.
[01:24:13] Speaker A: The story I want to talk about is just the fact that I was laughing about my family member establishing dominance, and it turned into this. I was like, maybe I should ask the question. Is that the way? Is that the route? Is that what you do?
[01:24:30] Speaker B: I mean, to be honest, a lot of weird has crossed my mind.
[01:24:36] Speaker A: Is this not one of them?
[01:24:38] Speaker B: This has not made the list.
[01:24:41] Speaker A: But now you're thinking about it. Like, I guess, but now it.
[01:24:47] Speaker B: I mean, like, is there a. Is there a primal aspect to that? Like, does that happen in nature where you, like, where animals will on each other just to establish dominance?
[01:24:57] Speaker A: Probably.
[01:24:58] Speaker B: Is that what monkeys do when they.
[01:24:59] Speaker A: I don't know. So, like, when my family member told me this, that was my instant. Like, they thought it was funny. And I was like. I said this. It started as a joke, but then I was like, no, seriously, did you.
[01:25:08] Speaker B: Like, I mean, and then to look them in the eye. Yeah, like, while they were doing it.
[01:25:15] Speaker A: Right.
[01:25:17] Speaker B: Man, that's a whole level of up.
[01:25:19] Speaker A: Because they were like, again, family members. Like, I'm embarrassed. And I was like, why?
Like, why, if anything. Let me get this straight.
[01:25:29] Speaker B: You wanted to ask us this question to see our reaction because you wanted to placate yourself, because in your mind, when you heard this story about a real life incident where someone was vulnerable and needed help, your immediate instinct was, you shouldn't have felt that way.
You should have established a dominance.
[01:25:49] Speaker A: Yeah, gangster, right?
[01:25:54] Speaker B: I can't do this.
Show's over.
[01:25:58] Speaker A: That's the show. So be sure to check out our gear. Www.thetabitmedia.com backslash shop and that'll do it for us. Kenny, what can we expect next week?
[01:26:06] Speaker B: Oh, God. We're gonna talk about the preseason, how it is progressing. I'm sure some people, you know, probably will disappear from the team over the next couple of weeks. So we'll talk about the dearly departed as they go. Any other Browns news and all that good stuff as we work our way into the regular season.
[01:26:24] Speaker A: All right, so with that check us out on social media tab and media is on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram at the tab of media burning for sportscast.
[01:26:29] Speaker B: That's this.
[01:26:30] Speaker A: This podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok and YouTube at Burning Sportscast and on X at burning River Pod. You can find us wherever. Each podcast I'm talking Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube Music, Amazon Music, Stitcher, Pandora, Ihear radio podcast, Castro good pods where you are number one ranked football podcast and so many more. 1.
I think that'll do it for us.
[01:26:48] Speaker B: That'll do it.
[01:26:49] Speaker A: I think this first episode with no facts for days.
[01:26:52] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll bring back facts.
[01:26:53] Speaker A: You got a fact? Just one fact off the top of your head. Ready? Go.
[01:26:56] Speaker B: Just one fact off the top of my head.
[01:26:58] Speaker A: We need one facts for days.
[01:27:03] Speaker B: One. One fact about what?
[01:27:06] Speaker A: I got one. They just officially named the night the planet. Really? See that?
[01:27:15] Speaker B: They do this all the time.
[01:27:17] Speaker A: No, this is like for real. They had to be able to see it because it. Its orbit is so far.
[01:27:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, if you can't see it, it really doesn't count.
[01:27:24] Speaker A: It counts, though. No, it's a planet.
[01:27:27] Speaker B: I did see that. There's something in space that is heading towards us that they're not sure exactly.
[01:27:32] Speaker A: A lot of space lately. Yeah.
[01:27:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:27:34] Speaker A: Like when the files disappeared, there was alien. This might be a pro.
[01:27:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I've. I've seen different reports that like, they're like, this may or may not be natural, whatever that means.
So, yeah, I don't know.
[01:27:49] Speaker A: You're the worst effects for days, Bone. How do you feel?
[01:27:52] Speaker C: I'm getting sleepy.
Good night. Bon ft.
[01:28:00] Speaker A: Nice Bo. Welcome back.
[01:28:02] Speaker B: It's been a long summer.
[01:28:04] Speaker C: Yeah, it's been a minute.
[01:28:06] Speaker A: It's been a long, hot summer.
[01:28:08] Speaker B: Long.
[01:28:09] Speaker A: That sounds like part of the problem.
[01:28:11] Speaker B: Hot, wet American summer.
[01:28:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:28:15] Speaker B: Don't be a part of the problem.
Be the whole damn problem.
[01:28:18] Speaker A: And only you can prevent river fires burning Burning rivers. Burning rivers season Burning river.
[01:28:28] Speaker B: Burning river Sports Quatro premier sports.
Like a razor we turning river. We're so close.
Like a baby's bottom.
Good night, Cleveland Learning river sportscast.
Good night, Cleveland.
[01:28:46] Speaker C: Good night.
[01:28:47] Speaker A: Act quiet on set. I now have two loves in my life.
Big city living and a voodoo woman named Phyllis. I didn't think we'd be getting into Brad Pitt's ass.
I can't even say I didn't think.
[01:29:04] Speaker B: We'D be getting into Brad Pitt's ass.
[01:29:07] Speaker A: Yeah, didn't think we'd get in there.
[01:29:09] Speaker B: We talk a lot of analingus on this show.
[01:29:12] Speaker A: So put your right foot in and take your right foot out. Then put your right foot in and shut the hell up. Because it's not time for the hokey pokey. It's time for the burning river sports C. Motorboat. You play the motorboat.
You motor boat. Son of a fish.
[01:29:27] Speaker B: You open.
You know, I was thinking during that interview.
[01:29:30] Speaker A: What? What were you think? Nothing. Cuz you don't have thoughts. Cuz you're a brainless idiot.
[01:29:35] Speaker B: Wow.
[01:29:35] Speaker A: My name is Utred. Son of Utred, by the way. I want my foreskin back. It doesn't matter what you think.
[01:29:42] Speaker B: Women's Guide to To anal sex. And it was the second edition. Who makes second edition?
[01:29:48] Speaker C: The weather outside is weather.
[01:29:50] Speaker A: The other one. The finger. The finger. Eating food. Fingers. Oh my God. My God. My ass is full of he Everywhere.
[01:29:58] Speaker C: Yes.
[01:29:59] Speaker B: Ejaculate all over my body and my genitals.
[01:30:01] Speaker A: Yes. Oh no.
[01:30:03] Speaker B: We suck again.
[01:30:04] Speaker C: You don't need fundamentals when you got heart.
[01:30:08] Speaker B: And Jesus.
[01:30:09] Speaker A: And Jesus.
[01:30:09] Speaker C: That's right.
[01:30:10] Speaker A: Touchdown. Anyway.
[01:30:12] Speaker B: What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?
[01:30:14] Speaker A: It's going down. I'm yelling.
[01:30:16] Speaker B: Timber.
[01:30:19] Speaker A: Should we start a meat podcast? Like, like, like meat pod Slow roasted.
[01:30:28] Speaker B: The leaves are weak.
[01:30:29] Speaker A: Leaves are weak.
[01:30:31] Speaker B: Leads are weak. You're weak. That we should send a team of oil core drillers a la Armageddon to Mars to have them access the newly discovered reservoirs of water traps 7 to 12 miles under the surface that when released will cover the entirety of everything on the planet less than a mile high.
[01:30:42] Speaker A: All I do is win, win, win, no matter what. Erroneous. Erroneous on both counts.
[01:30:47] Speaker B: Oh Lord.
[01:30:48] Speaker A: I mean when I last year when I won and went went home, you know, my wife's pants hit the ground.
[01:30:53] Speaker B: Wow.
[01:30:53] Speaker A: But damn.
[01:30:54] Speaker B: I'm sorry I hijacked your segment for a second to do some good podcasting.
[01:30:59] Speaker A: You know why mister?
[01:31:01] Speaker B: Because you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight.
[01:31:03] Speaker A: I drove an $80,000 BMW. That's my name. I think we've officially lost all of our more conservative viewers, so I don't think they want to listen any longer.
[01:31:15] Speaker C: It's Mother Nature.
[01:31:16] Speaker A: I live my life a quarter mile at a time.
[01:31:18] Speaker B: Where's logo girl when you need her? I desperately want to make love. We cheese girl now.
Who's canceled now?
Who's canceled now? Probably you making it for the fat people.
[01:31:34] Speaker A: I'm not just you.
[01:31:36] Speaker B: We're a whole race basically.
[01:31:39] Speaker A: No way. You're just straight, just finger bang their salad.
[01:31:45] Speaker C: You first get shocked and then you get the shocker.
[01:31:50] Speaker B: You like to see almost naked. That's cool, man. Whatever.
[01:31:52] Speaker A: No, no, no.
Most people like they're driving along and they're like in between meals, like, I'm a little hungry. I'm going to have a granola bar. And he's like, I need a cheeseburger.
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Is this not why you were here?
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