Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
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[00:01:11] Speaker A: It's time, Time for the Burning River Sportscast.
They say human beings reach the age of reason between the ages of 7 and 8 as we become more capable of rational thought. Of course, that's an ongoing process that takes place as your prefrontal cortex mat adolescence and into your 20s. Though we develop the ability to think critically at this early age, what science doesn't account for is the summer sun turning into a crisp fall breeze, the feel of beaded sweat that pools down your lower back and into your waistband as you make that walk from the muni lot to the stadium, or the emotion you feel when you see those glossy orange helmets take the field for the first time. That's love. No reason. Just football season. And hope springs eternal on the shores of Lake Erie. Try as you might, you'll find zero rational thinking of Northeast Ohio for the next few weeks. From the laborers who work in weights and measures to the elitist halls of university goers questioning the meaning of Life, we've waited 243 days for the next 18 weeks, and we'll all gladly tell you right where the Browns are headed this year. To the goddamn Super Bowl. As our good friend Tom Hamilton would say, book it.
We'll break it all down for you next on the Burning River Sportscast.
[00:02:31] Speaker B: I'm so hard right now.
He's going to kick the Schmidt out of it.
[00:02:34] Speaker A: Kick the Schmidt out of it.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: Oh, that's good.
[00:02:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Oscar. Oscar Anus.
[00:02:39] Speaker B: Oscar Arnold. Yeah, Arnold. Oscar Anus.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:02:44] Speaker B: Suck it, McConaughey.
You shut your filthy mouth. You just told us we're winning the Super Bowl. And I accept it. Who wins this Sunday, the Browns or the Bengals? Browns. And what's the score? 50 billion to nothing?
And then Dwan Jones, the penis enlargement joke. Yes, a good one.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: Jinx. Yummy. A soda. This is why you tune into the Burning River Sportscast. So you hear the same takes over and over and over and over.
Welcome into the burning River Sportscast. Presented by the fine folks, it's HAPPEN Media. I'm Kenneth under, and I'm joined today by a man who's smarter than an ear of corn but more ignorant than a Batman villain. He's red out, Ronnie Jams. And on the board today, I'm pretty sure a Batman villain. He can ride his bike with no handlebars, but he can't sing a song about it. He's the big bone man. Bone.
If two is company and three is a crowd, what are four and five?
[00:03:47] Speaker C: I can ride my bike with no handlebars. No handlebars. No handlebars.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: He did it.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: This is a good song.
[00:03:54] Speaker C: Said I couldn't do.
[00:03:56] Speaker A: Proved you wrong, I guess.
[00:03:57] Speaker B: What was the question? Ask him again.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: If two and three is. If two is. If two is company and three is a crowd, what are four and five?
[00:04:06] Speaker C: Dead weight.
[00:04:08] Speaker A: It's just nine, man. Four or five.
Back to red hot.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Wait.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: Where can our listeners find the dopest dope they ever heard on a podcast? Number one Eric football podcast and all good podcasts, as well as the unfishing podcast, the Clear Brown packers everywhere and.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: The official podcast of some Cleveland Brownsbackers somewhere. You can find our podcast wherever you get your podcast. I'm talking Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitch or Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora, iHeartRadio podcast, Castro Good Pods. We're your number one ranked football podcast and so many more.
[00:04:32] Speaker A: Number one.
[00:04:32] Speaker B: Number one. And don't forget to leave a review in your preferred podcast app. It's the best way for us to grow and do big things, you know.
Don't forget to subscribe on YouTube. The only place that you can find our video podcast. And check us out on Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok. Our handle for all those socials is at Burning over Sportscast. We are on X as well at the handle at Burning Pod. While you're at it, check out our merch www.thetappenmedia.com back shop. All kinds of stuff in there. But on today's show, this is what you can look oh, Cincinnati is in Kentucky. Gear that's in the shop. Go get it.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: True.
[00:05:02] Speaker B: Today on the show, this is what you can look forward to. The new hot take hotline is.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: Here it is.
[00:05:07] Speaker B: Yeah, Browns news heading into the season, guest appearances for former players and super fans alike, the return of some of our favorite segments now that the season's getting started, including week one baby King of the north, an interview with another Browns backers chapter, and of course, the week one Preview for the game against Cincinnati. So, guys, as we start a new season, I'm reminded of these wise words from the venerable Chumbawamba.
I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never going to keep me down.
And that alone is what keeps me coming back for more personal pain and anguish.
Now let's get things started with the Burning River News. Story of the week.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: It's not about how hard you can punch. It's about how hard you can get punched and keep getting up.
[00:06:04] Speaker B: Are you Rocky? Nice.
All right, guys, in lieu of a new story of the week, I actually want to talk about a listener of ours.
Tyler Schmiesing reached out to us this offseason to let us know that his dad, Charles was an avid listener of our show and loved to talk Browns football with Tyler.
They'd argue about who was better, Charles beloved Browns or Tyler's Green Bay Packers. We all know the answer to that, obviously, but Charles would even use some of our takes from our show to reinforce his arguments against Tyler.
Unfortunately, Charles passed away after battling cancer in April of this year. So first and foremost, I want to thank you, Charles. People like you are why we are able to keep doing this and you help give us drive to do it year after year, especially after year like last year.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:06:53] Speaker B: Second, thank you, Tyler, for sharing the story and letting us know that, you know, we were able to provide some joy in the final days of Charles life there as he was battling cancer.
And then finally, Tyler and Charles had a tradition of making crazy predictions for their teams every single year before the season started. Something way out there, but still somewhat believable.
The year the Browns went 0 16, that's. That's Charles claim to fame. He predicted the Owen 16 season.
[00:07:22] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:07:24] Speaker B: So Tyler sent us in his prediction for this year. He. He thinks that the packers will win the super bowl.
But now with Jordan Love, they're going to win it with their backup quarterback, who, I'll be honest, I don't even know who that is.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: I don't know who it is either.
[00:07:35] Speaker C: No idea.
[00:07:36] Speaker A: It's a great question.
[00:07:37] Speaker B: But what I will say, Tyler, is you got Michael Parsons now, so you got a shot. You got a shot.
[00:07:43] Speaker A: Pretty good.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: But yeah. Once again, just thank you so much to the Schmeesings. I hope I'm pronouncing that right.
And we, we just really appreciate you sharing that story with us. It does.
You know, we feel for your family, but it makes us feel good that we could provide kind of. Kind of a little bit of light there, so.
[00:08:01] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: One more thing. Before we get to the Browns, let me remind everybody to call the burger sportscast hot take hotline.
Don't forget to call and leave your hot takes on. Hot takes. The hot take hotline. We've got a new number.
[00:08:14] Speaker A: We want hot takes.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: It's not.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: It's fraud proof.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: It's not nearly as cool.
But Kenny got us frauded, so here we are.
Remember, these are hot takes. We want hot takes.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: We want hot takes. We want hot takes. We want hot takes.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: 3302-788133-02278-813-30227, 881.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: Yes. 3,30-2278-081808-18081.
It's the worst number.
[00:08:48] Speaker B: I hate you, Kenny. Hey, speaking of hot takes, it's time for the first ever.
Oh, yeah. Season's finally here.
[00:09:07] Speaker A: Week one.
[00:09:08] Speaker B: Bring on the Bengals. That's right. We ain't afraid of no cats. I can't wait for the season to start. There's gonna be so many highs. There's gonna be a couple lows, ups and downs.
[00:09:17] Speaker A: Doesn't matter.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: We always support the orange and Brown. That's what makes you the Cleveland Browns fans. The best fans in the whole world.
[00:09:26] Speaker A: Can't wait for the season to start. Yeah.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: Plus also cannot wait for the burning river sportscast to start up again. This is gonna be a wonderful best.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: Seasons with a bunch of crazy characters including yours truly. So tune in. But let's get this season started on a high note.
[00:09:41] Speaker B: Don't worry about the noise. Bring the noise. Oh, yeah.
Go round.
Man, I'm so excited to have macho fan on the show this year. This is. Yeah.
[00:10:01] Speaker C: It's the best.
[00:10:02] Speaker B: We can't do it as good as him.
[00:10:03] Speaker A: I.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Because he's the guy.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: Remember when I asked him about Elizabeth?
[00:10:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: Real mad at me.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Yeah. He didn't like that.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: That's my wife.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: How dare you.
[00:10:15] Speaker A: We love them.
[00:10:16] Speaker B: He still agreed to be on the show after that. I can't believe it.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: Glutton for punishment.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
Let's go on to in Brown's news.
Do we have a sounder for that?
I guess we do.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Segment.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: All right, so real quick, we're just. Just to wrap up all of the news going into the season.
Notable cuts. They'd made the final cuts. Roster down to 53 men this past week. Dustin Hopkins is finally out of here.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: That's true. You called that on the show before it happened.
[00:10:51] Speaker B: I did.
[00:10:52] Speaker A: Said they probably should cut him I mean, we all said they probably should.
[00:10:56] Speaker B: We said, we don't know if prattle.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: They might actually cut him.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: Yeah. And then they did, and now Andre Schmidt is the guy. Rookie Andre Schmidt.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: This is the first good thing the Browns have done all off season.
[00:11:06] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: They're like, like, unilaterally, universally, like, this was needed to happen.
[00:11:11] Speaker B: Yeah. I was so sick of Dustin Hopkins not even being able to make extra points.
Like, nobody even tries on that to rush the kicker. They just are like, yeah.
[00:11:20] Speaker C: Every kick he did make was almost a miss.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: I feel like in the pre.
[00:11:24] Speaker B: We talked about in the preseason, we're pretty sure he missed two that they just said was, yeah, we'll give it to you.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: And now we got the Schmidt Schmidt.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: He's gonna kick the Schmidt out of it.
[00:11:32] Speaker A: Take the Schmidt out of it.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: Oh, that's good.
[00:11:33] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: A new shirt coming soon to the retail.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: I like that offer. Like that.
Deontay Johnson also gone.
[00:11:41] Speaker A: That one was a little surprising. I mean, just because we're given the.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Number of teams he's gone through in the past year, it's not really that surprising.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: Just surprising that because we're so thin at wide receiver, I mean, it was one of those guys you would hope was going to work.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: I think it speaks to where Deontay Johnson is in his career.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: Well, he's just not good.
[00:11:56] Speaker B: He's just like. He just completely fell off because you can't make the Brown squad right now that, like, we're weak. That's where we're weak. And we're considered the weakest roster in the NFL. So, I mean, yeah, it's not good.
[00:12:09] Speaker A: If you can't make it there. So you're probably. You should probably hang it up, my friend.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure.
And then Marvin Moody, I thought this was interesting just because they made kind of a big deal when they. They signed him. There was like a post on their social media, everything, and then like three days later, they cut them. So there's that. But yeah, so those were really all the only notable. I think everybody else kind of expected. There was a couple.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: Couple bubble guys did make the. The roster.
Oscar. Oscar Anus.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: Oscar Arnold. Yeah, Arnold. Oscar Anus.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:45] Speaker A: Interesting addition. There is undersized linebacker Oscar Anus.
I don't know his last name, but I know his name always sounds like Oscar Anus when they say it online on tv.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: I hope somebody's been, no way they cut that guy.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: No, he's on the team. He's on the team.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: Oh, he Made it. He made it. They're excited now.
[00:13:02] Speaker C: Yeah, they're furious.
[00:13:03] Speaker A: He's pronouncing it wrong.
I'm excited about him. I think he's an interesting prospect.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Oscar Anus.
And then last thing here, just in off season news, just because it's been back and forth this last, like, week and a half. Quinn, John Judkins, still unsigned, signed and not with the team. This is as of Monday of the. Of week one. So, I mean, I. There's still. They're still talking about that he could possibly sign before the end of the week, but at this point, there's no way he plays week one. Right.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Zero chance. Zero chance. Yeah. I mean, he has to be with the team, so you can't.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:37] Speaker A: So, yeah. Be interesting to see how that plays out. I mean, obviously we have to keep an eye on it over the next several weeks here.
Who knows?
[00:13:45] Speaker B: One of the biggest bummers of the off season, I think.
[00:13:47] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I mean. Turn down.
[00:13:50] Speaker B: Yeah, turn down. Should we dance?
I don't know. It's not something to dance.
[00:13:55] Speaker A: I know we're at the end of the list here, but something I just wanted to bring up. Obviously, we had the. The Bucks big win.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: Oh, hell yeah.
[00:14:01] Speaker A: Over the weekend. I just wanted to just touch base with you guys. I mean, you guys watch a lot. Any of the pregame stuff with Corso? I thought there was.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. That was cool stuff. Did you see the craziest thing that I saw for the whole Lee Corso thing is every team he ever coached or played for one that week.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: Like, wow. Yeah. And it's like six of them or something. It's. It's wild.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I just thought it was cool.
[00:14:22] Speaker B: I mean, like, one of them was Florida State beat alab.
[00:14:25] Speaker C: So that's a big game.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: Lee Corso is clearly an institution.
Been on TV basically my entire life doing this.
And obviously the recent years, like you could. I mean, age was taking its toll and it was. It was harder, I think, for him to get out there and do that week in and week out. But like, just what an awesome, just guy figure for sports, for. For espn, for everything.
[00:14:48] Speaker C: I don't know how true it is, but they're basically saying they postponed the game by like 20 minutes to get through all the Corso stuff on ESPN.
[00:14:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:55] Speaker C: 12, 20 inst. You know, kickoff or whatever.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it is wild because I actually was talking to my wife, like, leading up to the game, and they're showing all the Corso stuff, and I was like, getting A little emotional. I was like, right. I've literally, like. Like, he's been part of every college football game I think I've ever watched.
[00:15:12] Speaker A: Right?
[00:15:13] Speaker B: Like, yeah.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: I mean, I made it. I made it a point, at least.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: Every Saturday, I should say, that I.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: Watched college football travel to a friend's house for the game. And so, like, I made it a point, though, to, like, make sure I had it on before they made the final pick. Like, I wanted to see that you got headgear on one last time.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: You got to love it. And in classic, classic fashion, he's. He says he built up Texas. He's like, this is the easiest pick I'm ever gonna make. Texas, they got Arch Manning, Archie Manning. They got. They went through all these good things about Texas. Give me my first love.
I was like, yes. I was so pumped.
[00:15:44] Speaker A: Very, very cool moment this weekend.
[00:15:46] Speaker B: And he was right.
[00:15:48] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Speaking of which, Archie Manning.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Archibald had a rough day.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: I'm pretty down on Archie Manning right now.
[00:15:55] Speaker A: I don't think I need to draft him.
[00:15:56] Speaker B: He had so many under throws. They were just. They were just in the dirt. Right.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: Give me. Give me Dylan Gabriel over Archibald Manning. I'll say it here right now.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Yeah. I just was very unimpressed. And, like, this is your. This is your moment. This is your chance.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. I mean, and we talked about that, right? Like, this does. Is he gonna be able to meet the moment? I mean, it was a big moment, right? You're number one. You're walking into their house on national tv. You got the big noon tick off. Like, everything was spelled out for you to. To make your. Make your name and impact known, outside of the fact that you're Cooper's kid, like, and just didn't. Didn't show up. And the. The inaccuracy was, I think, the most troubling thing.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:34] Speaker A: It wasn't like he was. It was like balls on guys.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: It was like easy throws, too.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Like, throws in the dirt.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: He couldn't even take what the defense was giving him.
[00:16:41] Speaker A: No. No. So, yeah, just very, very disappointing. And look, it's a long season. I'm sure he's going to play a bunch of teams that aren't that good, and he's going to look great the rest of the year and probably still be in that Heisman conversation. But look, this was as close as you're going to get to an NFL defense all year long.
Yeah.
So, yeah, take that for what it's worth.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Yeah. And once again, I will say, was it horns down or whatever it is.
[00:17:04] Speaker A: Horns down. Hook them down.
[00:17:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: See you later, McConaughey.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: Yeah. You might not be allowed to do that in. In college football as a celebration, but we could do it here on the Burning River.
[00:17:12] Speaker A: Sports. All right, all right, all right. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
[00:17:16] Speaker B: Suck it, McConaughey.
All right, let's take a quick trip around the NFL.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: Suck your McConaugh face.
[00:17:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Suck it.
No. Just a couple things here around the NFL. One, the season kicks off on Thursday Night Football with the Cowboys visiting the Eagles. We get our first look at the defending champs.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: Absolutely.
I'm so excited I took the day off.
[00:17:46] Speaker B: You did.
Now you can imagine what it be like if I did.
[00:17:50] Speaker A: No, I did. I'm. I'm like.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Friday or Thursday?
[00:17:53] Speaker A: Thursday, yeah. Just.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: You didn't take them both off.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: No, I just. I'm just ready for the game. I'm so excited. I'm gonna play Madden all day long.
[00:17:59] Speaker C: You making buffalo chicken dip now?
[00:18:02] Speaker A: You said that.
[00:18:02] Speaker B: I probably gotta mention it.
[00:18:04] Speaker A: It's not on the diet, but it's gonna have to happen, I think, especially since I'll be off all day. I'll have time to make it.
[00:18:11] Speaker B: I actually got a.
When my.
One of my family members was on a diet, they had a clean version of that. That's. It's not. Not as good, but it's. It's still pretty good. It's like. It's like a good imitation.
[00:18:21] Speaker A: It's like if you're gonna eat a hamburger, you just get to eat a hamburger.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: I mean, I. I accept you. That's what I would say. Yeah.
[00:18:26] Speaker A: I' stuff the rest of this time. Fake pop.
[00:18:29] Speaker B: It's time to eat real buffalo chicken dip for men.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: Fake. Fake ranch. Fake dressings. Yeah. Just. If you're gonna make a little chicken.
[00:18:37] Speaker B: Dip, it's gotta be the real stuff.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Real stuff.
[00:18:39] Speaker B: I feel it.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: All the fat, all the grease, cheese.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: Yeah. And then the only other thing I had here was. We already talked about a little bit, but Micah Parsons to the packers paid. Yeah. So, I mean, that. That just missed our last week's show by like an hour or two, I think.
[00:18:55] Speaker A: Yeah. So again, it just goes back to the conversation we had last week, which is like. It's funny how these. These professional conversations turn personal and Jerry Jones just couldn't hack it.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: Dude, Jerry Jones, I think, is losing it.
I mean, I'm sure he has been for a while, but did you hear, like, the press conference? Like. Like, one of the things was, like, these draft picks are going to allow Us to possibly draft Pro bowl, perennial Pro bowl players. It's like you realize you just let one walk so that you could potentially draft some.
[00:19:22] Speaker A: I think it's. It's really hard because if you're in that front office, what do you. What choice do you have other than to just follow Jerry Jones's lead? Clearly?
[00:19:32] Speaker B: I mean, he is the front office, right? He's the front office. He's the guy.
[00:19:35] Speaker A: The heyday of the Cowboys, at least the recent, you know, the super bowl, runs in the 90s. That was 25, 30 years ago. Like, you're clearly his mindset, the way he manages the operation is very different today than it was then.
And it's not even just an. It's like an ages thing. It's just like. It's very. It's just not. They haven't had success. Right. So. But at the same time, from a business standpoint, still the most popular franchise in all the sports in all the world.
[00:20:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Pretty wild.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: They've seen the valuation increase, like, tenfold since the 90s. So if you're looking at it going, like, from a business, I still. Business standpoint, how do you tell Jerry Jones you're doing it wrong when he's like, I'm making the most money ever by a lot?
[00:20:18] Speaker B: There's. There's a few things in life that just don't make sense. Why the Cowboys are so damn popular and how the Browns managed to lose so damn often.
[00:20:26] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:20:27] Speaker B: Yeah. It just doesn't make any sense.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: And why we continue to root for a team that loses all the time.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: You shut your filthy mouth. You just told us we're winning the super bowl, and I accept it.
But with that, I think it's time for an interview. Kenny.
[00:20:39] Speaker A: All right, let's jump in.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: All right, we're gonna do a brownsbackers interview series here. We started these. So just quick, quick recap. I think if you've been following the show long enough, you should know what these are about.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: Yeah, we love the Browns backers. We love all the work to do. We want to showcase and highlight everything that they do.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: I think he pretty much said it all.
[00:20:54] Speaker A: Pretty much said it all.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: All right, so with that, let's go ahead and get into the next interview in the series.
All right, guys, for this Brownsbackers interview, please help me welcome. Hailing from P.J. mcIntyre in Cleveland, Ohio, the VP of the West Park Browns Backers, Br.
Ryan. Thanks for joining us. How are you today? I'm doing great, guys. How are you? We're Doing well. It's the start of a Brown season. Week one better. Yeah. I mean, this is when we're all feeling good.
Exciting, guys. Exciting. Absolutely. So, Brian, tell us a little bit about the West Park Brownsbackers.
Well, we're in West Park, Ohio, right off of Lorraine in 237.
It's a great establishment. Many people go there. There's. They have.
On Sundays for us, they have brown specials and I mean, like for the London game, we're going to be doing like bangers and eggs and stuff like that. And there's going to be other events coming up. They're just. We haven't scheduled them yet, but they are in the works. So we will have a lot of stuff coming up soon.
Nice. And is there any charities you're working for? You know, we're going to raise money for locally in Cleveland. Oh, we do the Food Bank. The Cleveland Food bank. And we try to, you know, help out rescues and stuff like that. I also run the doghouse tailgate, which is a rescue. So we do, you know, some donations towards that stuff too.
Awesome. Typically, you know, we like to sit here and just really talk Browns. Right.
That's what we do with these Browns backers. Interviews after we're done talking about your chapter. But we understand that you're somewhat of a super fan, if I'm not mistaken, Brian. Is that right?
Just a little.
Yeah. So with.
With that being said, I actually, for the first time ever in the brownsbacker interview series, I'd like you to take us on a crib style tour.
Would you like your. Yeah, I want to see your collection here.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: What do you got going on there?
[00:23:12] Speaker B: All right, I got a little bit of stuff maybe. Let me try to get out of the camera.
I'll start you on the inside. This is just one hallway here that has some things. Oh, I gotta. Can I flip the camera around here?
[00:23:28] Speaker A: Go for it.
I'll have to do it with it.
[00:23:31] Speaker B: Behind me, I guess.
But this is a hall.
Just one hall, some pictures.
But then you come this way. There's my kitchen with the. Can you see this? Okay, guys. Oh, yes, we can see it. Great.
Come in here.
[00:23:50] Speaker A: I mean, this is years of collection.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: Years. More like decades.
Yeah, I got some stuff.
[00:24:00] Speaker A: I got some stuff.
Is that a Ben Tate jersey?
[00:24:06] Speaker B: It is a Ben Tate jersey. No way.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: Ben Tate is the truth.
[00:24:10] Speaker B: Ben Tate was Kenny Thunder's favorite player for the Browns. I'm telling you what. Ben Tate was awesome.
You know, we bring it up any chance we get, but Kenny left a message on Ben Tate's Facebook for a year straight and told him. All I told him was, you're the truth, Ben Tate. You're the truth, Ben.
I'll never forget. I wore that jersey to Pittsburgh and he got hurt. I'm.
It's your fault. It was my fault.
Check this out. It's one of my prized possessions up here.
That's a set of Jim Brown shoulder pads. They're not actual his, but they're signed by him.
Close enough. There's a 64 championship helmet signed by all the 64 champs. Wow.
I actually caught this ball here in the end zone at the Jacksonville Jaguars game. That's the first touchdown between David Najoku and Joe Flacco.
Oh, nice. Hope to see a lot more of those this year. Oh, man. You know. You know what I'm saying? That's gonna be great to see that. That's the exciting part, you know? Wacko for Flacco, right?
[00:25:20] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: So. So then we're just in your house right now, right?
You are in my house now. You're going to my garage.
This is where it gets good. I hear. This is where it gets good.
Is that. What is that a mini. A mini, like, go kart van?
Yeah, that's a mini go kart van.
It's fully operational.
This helmet's just sit. This is just sitting on here for now.
Just not a lot of room. There's my van. Of course.
There's the big dog bone.
The big bone, yeah. And it has a new saying. Whose bones bigger? His boner.
I know. I'm a little bit psycho.
[00:26:04] Speaker A: I might need therapy.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Can you. Yeah. Take us out to the van real quick, and can you go. Can you go around the van real quick? I just wanna. Oh, we can see it. Yeah, we can see it enough. I am so sorry. It's dark out here.
[00:26:16] Speaker A: I got orange lights on my house. I apologize.
No, you're good.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: That's all right.
[00:26:22] Speaker A: See it at all?
So did you do all this painting? Painting? Or did you have it done somewhere?
[00:26:29] Speaker B: This was done by CLE signs.
[00:26:32] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:26:32] Speaker B: We. We made a deal, and I. I'm a floor layer by trade, so I did their offices.
[00:26:40] Speaker A: Little quid pro quo.
What's that? Little quid pro quo.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The guy's actually a huge Browns fan himself. Has a beautiful Browns Jeep, so.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: But. Nice.
[00:26:56] Speaker B: So how long seriously, did it take you to acquire all this stuff?
See, I guess I probably started in our middle 80s, you know, mid-80s, with, like, the Kars and the newsome stuff like, behind me.
Yeah. You know, this kind of stuff.
And I just.
I don't know. I just. My grandfather. I lived in Seattle, and my grandfather would send me things. He wanted to make sure I wasn't a Seahawk.
[00:27:31] Speaker A: Smart.
[00:27:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
He's like, you're never gonna be a Seahawk. And my dad wanted me to be a Seahawk so bad, but I wouldn't do it because my grandfather. So he would send me little pieces and trinkets, and here we are.
I mean, it's absolutely amazing. This collection is extensive, to say the least.
[00:27:52] Speaker A: Anybody else have a lure?
[00:27:54] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't.
All right, Brian, real quick here. While you're finishing it, you're. As you finish up the tour here, we got some quick questions for you. Number one here. What's.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: I have a first question. Where those benches come from?
[00:28:12] Speaker B: I had these made from a guy that lives in Mansfield, and they were, like, 400 bucks a piece.
[00:28:22] Speaker A: Worth it?
[00:28:24] Speaker B: Yeah, they were worth it to me.
So. Yeah, we got quick questions here. We're going to go as fast as we can, Brian. Number one, what's the record for the Browns this season?
10 and 7. 10 and 7. Okay, who wins this Sunday, the Browns or the Bengals?
Browns. And what's the score?
50 billion to nothing.
[00:28:51] Speaker A: 50 billion. That might be the best score prediction we've ever had on the show.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: Right?
Billion to nothing.
Screw the bungles.
I mean, I'm with you there. I mean, if you can't see the shirts right now, Cincinnati is in Kentucky, so. Right, Exactly.
No, Brian Fried chicken to us, right?
[00:29:12] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:29:13] Speaker B: Absolutely. Brian, listen, it's been fantastic checking out the collection that you've built in your home here, including all the toys that you have to take to the muni lot and Browns games whenever you want.
And I wish we could sit here and talk to you all night, honestly, because we'd love to have you do your podcast up at PJ sometime. Don't tempt me with a good time.
[00:29:33] Speaker A: Set it up.
[00:29:34] Speaker B: We would love to have you. We'll give you the stage. We. We will talk, and we will. We'll probably take you up on that sometime, so we would. Hey, that'd be great. We would love to have you. You be our. Absolutely.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: Sounds like a blast.
[00:29:46] Speaker B: Yep. Absolutely. Okay. All right, you guys go on my ticket.
[00:29:52] Speaker A: Sounds good.
We'll catch you next time.
[00:29:56] Speaker B: We'll see you guys.
This is Brian with the West Park Brownsbackers, and you're listening to the Burning River Sportscast.
Go, Brown man. Good time talking to Brian from the West Park Browns backers, huh?
[00:30:13] Speaker A: What a collection of stuff.
[00:30:16] Speaker B: There was so much stuff. There's like every inch of every wall.
[00:30:20] Speaker A: His bathroom is totally decked out in brown stuff. So why both bathrooms? So while you are dumping, you are immersed in a Brown's experience.
[00:30:28] Speaker B: I forgot to ask him. What are you staring at? Like, right in front of you when you're dumping?
[00:30:32] Speaker A: He had a poster or something on the wall.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I know there was. Something was framed right there, but I didn't see what it was.
[00:30:36] Speaker A: Love the fact that he had a Ben Tate jersey. Yeah, that was great.
[00:30:39] Speaker B: You love Ben Tate.
[00:30:40] Speaker A: Can't beat that. Can't beat that.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Is he the truth still?
[00:30:43] Speaker A: Of course he's the truth. He' Tate truth is in his name.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: Yeah. It was just wild. I don't even know.
He's been collecting since the mid-80s. That's before I was born.
[00:30:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
Yeah. And you're not even that young anymore.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: No, that's why I say that. That's like wild.
[00:31:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm old guy now.
[00:31:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: Not as old as you. I'll never be as old as you.
[00:31:06] Speaker A: I mean.
[00:31:07] Speaker B: I mean, unless you die and then I'll.
[00:31:09] Speaker A: Physical reality, I guess.
[00:31:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Anyways.
All right. It's time. Time.
[00:31:15] Speaker A: It's time.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: It's time for the Burning river sportscast. We're already there, but it's time to preview an actual Browns football game.
[00:31:22] Speaker C: Oh, boy.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it's time.
[00:31:23] Speaker A: Week one is here, baby. For the week one preview.
[00:31:35] Speaker B: Here we go.
[00:31:36] Speaker A: Is it time?
[00:31:36] Speaker B: It's time. This week we have the Cincinnati Bull Bengals.
This is the only time I'll be respectful and say their name like I'm supposed to.
[00:31:44] Speaker A: So you mean the Kentucky Bengals?
[00:31:47] Speaker B: Yeah, the Kentucky Kitty Cats.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: Fair enough.
[00:31:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And it's the return of Kenny's Cliff Notes. It is. Yeah.
[00:31:54] Speaker A: Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. It's time for Kenny's Cliff Notes.
[00:32:06] Speaker B: What do you got for us?
[00:32:07] Speaker A: The Battle of Ohio is the season's first look at AFC north matchups this year.
The Browns averaged A League Low 15.2 points per game last season, but it's pretty bad. Brand new year.
Enter Cincinnati.
Zach Taylor comes into his seventh year at the helm. For the Kentucky Bengals, the big story, as usual, is Joe Burrow coming off a stellar 2024 campaign, throwing for over 4,900 yards and 43 touchdowns. One of the NFL's best quarterbacks is still paired with two of the NFL's best in Jamar Chase and T. Higgins. Andre Yosemis is a viable alternative and despite Mike Kosicki's 65 catch 600 yard contribution a year ago. Young veteran Drew Sample Young veteran? Is that an oxymoron? He's a veteran, but he's still young.
He's penciled in as a starting tight end. Both figure to be contributors in the Kentucky passing game. Chase Brown, by all accounts, is in for a heavy workload as the workhorse back coming off a strong second half of the line last season, backed up by journeyman Samaj P. Ryan coming back to Kentucky after short stints with the Broncos and Chiefs over the last two seasons.
[00:33:19] Speaker B: That kind of sticks around.
[00:33:21] Speaker A: Yeah, he does. He's still getting paid. Al golden takes over the Bengals defense after manning Notre Dame's highly ranked defense the last couple of years. This shaky unit needs to find consistency in 2025 of this Bengals team is going to bolster the offense's efforts to push this team into the postseason and big money. Trey Hendrickson along with Logan Wilson and Cam Taylor Britt are fixtures and will lead the way for the explosive young talent they've added around them. Rounding out the special teams, Evan McPherson returns after a disappointing 24 campaign, playing in only 12 games and converting less than 73% of his kicks.
And Ryan Recall returns as the punter after a steady Rookie campaign averaging 49.1 yards per boot.
Is this team in for another slow start that the Browns can capitalize on, or will they pick up where they left off, looking like One of the NFL's best teams? We'll find out Sunday at 1pm Eastern. Go Browns.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: Kenny's Cliff notes has turned into quite the production.
[00:34:22] Speaker A: It's his own podcast. It's an institution. Emily Corso it is what it is. Whatever.
[00:34:27] Speaker B: It's fine.
I like how in classic Burning river sportscast fashion, you made sure you included the kicker and the punter.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: I mean, it's the most important everything that happens.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. I know.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: Remember last year Ryan Reo mishandled a snap and it was a bad deal for the Bengals.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: Listen, the return of Kenny's cliff notes also means the return of Ronnie Jam's matchups that matter. Ronnie Jam's matchups Matchups that matter There he is.
All right, so as I usually do, I've got two matchups for you that matter.
[00:35:16] Speaker A: Let's hear them.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: Number one Miles Garrett versus Orlando Brown Jr.
Orlando Brown Jr. Is coming off a fractured fibula that he actually suffered against the Browns in Week seven. Last week he actually played a few more weeks on a fractured fibula, which is Impressive. But did you do more damage to him it or how are you going to react?
Miles Garrett finally appears to have some help on that defensive line and he also got paid in the off season. So it's just going to be interesting to see if the motor's still high for Miles Garrett, how many plays he takes off because we unfortunately, as much as we love Miles Garrett, we know he does that sometimes and if, you know if Orlando Brown can hold up coming off that injury. So I think, I think that's going to be a big, big. I think Miles Garrett feast in this one.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: So what if it was Miles Garrett Vers Orlando Brown senior didn't think about that. I'm not prepared.
[00:36:13] Speaker B: I'm not. He'd probably win because Orlando Brown senior is probably pretty old.
[00:36:16] Speaker A: Coming next week and ready jams matchups that matter.
[00:36:20] Speaker B: The next up here on the opposite side, same matchup basically, But Trey Hendrickson vs Big Thanos Dwan Jones.
[00:36:28] Speaker A: I'm excited to see Dewan.
[00:36:30] Speaker B: Yeah, me too.
Trey Hendrickson basically playing out a one year contract at this point. You mentioned he got paid. They gave him a $15 million raise, but they didn't extend his.
So he's on an extended tryout basically for free agency this year.
[00:36:45] Speaker A: You can buy extends at the gas station now.
[00:36:47] Speaker B: Yeah, see. Yeah. Yeah. And then Dwan Jones, the penis enlargement joke. Yeah.
Dwan Jones has seemingly trimmed down. Is finally.
How do we always end up here?
[00:37:04] Speaker A: So girthy.
[00:37:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
Dwan Jones is trimmed down and is finally starting to be the player that they hoped he would be when they drafted him early. Least supposedly. Yeah. So that's why I put this in here because I want to see how he actually does. And he draws a pretty tough matchup in week one.
[00:37:19] Speaker A: So here's the thing.
If he's good, that could be good for the Browns all year.
[00:37:26] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:37:26] Speaker A: If he's bad, it could be a really long year.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: Yeah. So that was the main reason. Exactly what you just said. Why I put this in the matchups that matter. Not so much on Trey Hendrickson side. Although it's interesting just to see how the beginning of his tryout goes for free agency. But. But Dwan Jones is going to be the more interesting part of this matchup here.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: So Trey Hendrickson could be a Brown next year.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: I think he really could.
That's a conversation for another day though.
[00:37:53] Speaker A: For next year.
[00:37:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:54] Speaker A: For next to the next round of jams matchups that matter.
[00:37:58] Speaker B: You love saying that.
And then real quick, the Bengals is a new season for Everybody right now, everyone thinks the Bengals are going to be good. I keep hearing they're the most likely to go back to the playoffs here on the Burning River Sportscast. We don't think they're going to be good. I mean, I think we're all in agreements there, right?
[00:38:15] Speaker A: I think they could be better than the Browns.
[00:38:18] Speaker B: Come on.
[00:38:19] Speaker C: But I don't know.
[00:38:19] Speaker A: They are going to be good.
[00:38:21] Speaker B: I mean, I think they'll be battling for. For the standings that I know.
[00:38:25] Speaker A: Joe Burrow is going to be good.
[00:38:26] Speaker C: Yeah, he's good.
[00:38:27] Speaker B: Yeah. So here's the deal. Their defense finished last year ranked number 25.
That's the part that everyone keeps saying their defense is going to be good. Their defense is going to be good. That's what they said before last year. That's what they're saying now. Before this year, they're still trash.
Honest. Just because those receipts.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: Al Golden.
[00:38:42] Speaker B: Here's basically the difference. Trey hendrickson gets paid $15 million more, and you're the same defense. That's. That's basically it. So fair.
On offense, they finished ranked number nine, which you just mentioned. Joey B. Is pretty good, but he can only do so much. That's true. And they also tend to start slow, as you've mentioned before. So.
[00:38:59] Speaker A: And let's be honest, Joey B. Has been banged up.
[00:39:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:03] Speaker A: Last couple of years. So, I mean, it will be interesting.
[00:39:06] Speaker B: This is the first. The first time coming into the season he's healthy in a while. So. And then the Browns, New season for everybody, but last year, they finished ranked 20 or ranked 19 on defense.
And so far in the preseason, they've actually looked a lot better than I thought they would. Specifically on the defensive front. The problem, still have no linebackers.
So Schwessinger. Yeah, he's. He's pretty good. But besides that, we got nobody.
[00:39:30] Speaker A: Oscar Anus.
[00:39:32] Speaker B: And then offensively, The Browns finished 20. 24 ranked 28. 28. But guess what?
[00:39:39] Speaker A: 28 is. Gracious. I don't know how they even got a 28 snag.
[00:39:42] Speaker B: Guess what? We got Joe Flacco now.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: Yeah, we do.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: Yeah. So I'm feeling pretty. It's gonna change things now. You know, obviously, Kenny's Cliff notes, Ronnie James, matchups that matter.
You get a segment and I get a segment. And bone. You get a segment. It's time for the Bone man's skeleton key to victory.
[00:40:01] Speaker A: Like Oprah out here, just hanging out. Segments.
Wow.
[00:40:05] Speaker B: Thanks, guys.
Give it a pause phone.
[00:40:11] Speaker C: How long do I wait?
[00:40:12] Speaker B: Right now?
About eight seconds.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: All right.
[00:40:17] Speaker C: Key to victory. It's the turnover game. So I looked back a little bit. 20, 23. We were fantastic at the, at the turnover game.
We had 29 takeaways. We were third in the NFL last year. We had to 12.
[00:40:29] Speaker B: That's really.
[00:40:31] Speaker C: We play 17 games, guys.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: We didn't even get a turnover a game.
[00:40:35] Speaker A: Less than one a game.
[00:40:36] Speaker C: Yeah, let's. Let's look for some big turnovers on, on Sunday. So that's what our defense are going to do and that's what they're going to do, be doing all season.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: I like it.
Jinx Y a soda.
[00:40:48] Speaker B: Don't ever say the same thing as me again.
You got betting info for us?
[00:40:55] Speaker A: Line right now. Minus five and a half a half, the Bengals.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: Hold on, hold on.
[00:41:00] Speaker A: We are a home d. Hold on. But we are dogs.
[00:41:04] Speaker B: Not only are we a home dog, they have us. They have it. Minus five and a half.
[00:41:08] Speaker A: Yeah, almost.
[00:41:10] Speaker B: I don't think, like, it's pretty disrespectful.
[00:41:13] Speaker A: Opening line.
[00:41:14] Speaker B: Yeah. The normal person sitting at home that's not like that doesn't follow like betting lines. Like that's, that's a pretty big gap. And anytime you're close to the full.
[00:41:23] Speaker A: Score is like in the NFL.
[00:41:24] Speaker B: That's super disrespectful.
[00:41:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
Especially for the first week of the season where you don't really know who's who. Yeah.
[00:41:31] Speaker B: Especially considering like the majority of NFL games are decided by one score or less. Yeah.
[00:41:36] Speaker A: Well, that's what I mean. Yeah. And usually the home team gets some kind of like, like this is a typical.
[00:41:41] Speaker B: Like I would have been. I would have thought it was normal to say like two and a half, three points. Something like that.
[00:41:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:41:45] Speaker B: Five and a half.
[00:41:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Feels bad.
[00:41:48] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:41:49] Speaker A: Money to be made. I guess.
[00:41:50] Speaker B: Yeah. What's the over. Under here?
[00:41:52] Speaker A: Over. Under 47 and a half.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: Without giving advice, what would you take?
[00:41:59] Speaker A: This is not gambling or betting advice. Yeah, don't do that here. We're just, we're just giving you what the lines are. You can place your bets accordingly. That's totally up to you. Burning Resorts cast does not endorse or suggest or make recommendations on any betting gambling information.
[00:42:15] Speaker B: Gambling problem call, not us. Yeah.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Do not call the hot take out line.
[00:42:22] Speaker B: You could, I guess, but it won't help you.
[00:42:24] Speaker A: Excuse me. Hot take hotline. You cost me $3,000.
[00:42:28] Speaker B: Anyways.
[00:42:29] Speaker A: You said it was going to be the under.
[00:42:31] Speaker B: Guys, we need a player to watch. Bone, we're starting with you. Who's your player to watch?
[00:42:34] Speaker C: Oh, man.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Well, Shoot.
[00:42:35] Speaker C: I was going to do Danan Jones but you guys talk extensively about him so that's okay. I'm going to go running back position.
[00:42:43] Speaker B: I've talked extensively about him.
[00:42:44] Speaker A: More extending extends cbs.
[00:42:49] Speaker C: Any local guest?
[00:42:50] Speaker B: Not an ad.
[00:42:52] Speaker C: Let's go running backs though. Is it going to be just kind of like a true little split here with Ford and Sampson? Obviously Quinton is still not signed so I'm so sad. I'm just interested to see, to see Dylan Sampson. We know what we got in for it. I think, I'm hoping, I'm hoping Samson provides a little more pop for us and maybe some big big hitters.
[00:43:11] Speaker B: Big hitters.
[00:43:12] Speaker C: Big, big, big hitter plays. That would be. Be great. So we'll go running back.
[00:43:16] Speaker B: Okay. Okay.
[00:43:17] Speaker A: Kenny Bones a son of a bitch because my player to watch was Dylan Sampson.
So obviously we know it's always roulette.
[00:43:26] Speaker B: Like who I choose first.
[00:43:27] Speaker A: And we knew Jerome Ford can hit the home run but we've seen him struggle as the every down back. Obviously with Judkins still up in the air, Dylan Sampson has a chance to be a turnkey addition to this offense and and prove that he can be an every down guy.
I mean that's going to be critical to this team this year to you know, so much of Stevenski's relies on on that zone run and play fakes.
So yeah, Dylan Sampson's gonna be critical there to pan out and be a player. Especially while we wait on the Judkins news. So I just.
[00:43:59] Speaker B: We're just doubling down.
[00:44:03] Speaker C: I didn't say real original.
[00:44:04] Speaker B: Guys.
[00:44:07] Speaker A: This is why you tune into the Burning river sportscast. So hear the same takes over and over and over.
Let me guess. Red Hot Ronnie G was going to go with Joe Flacco for 71 yards and a touchdown last week.
[00:44:19] Speaker B: My player to watch this week is Dylan Sampson.
No, I'm kidding. It's not actually. I've got Greg Newsom this week.
Obviously the other corner. Yeah, yeah, we know Denzel Ward's going to do his thing. He locks down on everybody. It doesn't matter who it is. Little interested to see if there's any fall off there, but realistically he's probably locking down whoever he's on.
The bigger news here is there's no Martin Emerson to kind spell these first two guys this year and Greg Newsome tended to be out of the two. He's the one that gets picked on more. So I want to see if that continues. Especially given the fact that you named them all. Jamar Chase. T Higgins. Andre Iocefus, I think is his name.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:44:59] Speaker B: Did I do it right?
[00:44:59] Speaker A: Romanian rocket.
[00:45:00] Speaker B: The Romanian rocket. Andre iOS.
So it's just. I'm interested to see if they are going to pick on Newsom.
Are you okay?
You can't make it through a segment today.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Romanian racket.
[00:45:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: Extends. It's just another penis enlargement joke.
That's the whole show today.
[00:45:24] Speaker B: If only Andy Dalton were still on this team.
But I just want to see is. Is Newsom going to be able to hold up to. To stiff competition?
[00:45:36] Speaker A: So girthy.
So it's gonna be really hard.
[00:45:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: Really tough.
[00:45:42] Speaker B: Yeah. So mine's Greg Newsom.
[00:45:44] Speaker A: Yeah, look, that's. That's fair because Newsom, honestly, with.
[00:45:47] Speaker B: With, he's been on the trade block for like three years now.
[00:45:50] Speaker A: So with the addition of Emerson, Newsom was fitting more into that, like, slot corner nickel type role.
So that's gotta be the guy again, heavy load for him to take on now to be the other corner starting a second died Denzel Ward. So we'll see what he does.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: Yep. But anyways, we do have a giveaway going on right now. Kenny, why don't you tell us a little bit about it.
[00:46:11] Speaker A: We got a real cool jersey, is signed by a guy that you might know.
[00:46:14] Speaker B: We just talked about him.
[00:46:15] Speaker A: We just talked about him. David and Joku signed autographed jersey here that we're hoping to give away to some lucky fan.
You can enter on our social medias. There's a whole bunch of instructions out there on how to earn entries, bonus entries, all that whole thing.
[00:46:30] Speaker B: All that whole thing.
[00:46:31] Speaker A: So go interact with the posts, check them out and enter your name to win. We'll be giving this one away real soon.
[00:46:36] Speaker B: And don't forget, 25 bonus entries if you subscribe on YouTube.
[00:46:40] Speaker A: Yes, YouTube. Go to YouTube.
[00:46:42] Speaker B: Yeah, do it. Link in the show notes as well.
[00:46:44] Speaker A: Do it now.
[00:46:45] Speaker B: With that, let's go ahead and take a break from football and get into gas.
All right, it's that time again, boys.
[00:47:00] Speaker A: It's time to get gassed up.
[00:47:01] Speaker B: It's time to get gassed up. Listen, we're going to be doing gassed up a little bit different this year.
Well, for the most part, occasionally we might. We might go back to.
[00:47:07] Speaker A: We might get more gassed up sometimes than others, but sometimes.
[00:47:09] Speaker B: Yeah, but instead of us all getting gassed up, this is a communal gas. Different things. You know, I get gassed up about something. You get gassed up about something.
[00:47:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:18] Speaker B: Instead of doing.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: We already had our own segments.
[00:47:20] Speaker B: Yeah. We're going to pick a single topic that we're all gassed up about and then we, we're going to pour the gasoline on and light a match and just see what happens.
[00:47:28] Speaker A: I'm not sure how this segment's gonna go.
[00:47:30] Speaker B: No, no. But this week, this week is a question that was posed by Kenny Thunder.
And the question is, am I using public restrooms correctly?
So Kenny, elaborate for us.
[00:47:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, just some like, I guess, hygiene concerns. And so I don't know if this is like an engineering floor law or am I just using public restrooms wrong?
[00:47:57] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah.
[00:47:58] Speaker A: I mean, starting with urinals, right? You kind of have like your, your standard adult male sized urinal and then sometimes you have the smaller urinals and just seems like there's a real splashback problem.
[00:48:09] Speaker B: There's a splash problem. No matter what.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: Spicy small urinals, like, how can they.
[00:48:12] Speaker B: Not figure out that? And they put in the little thing that you're supposed to aim at, but that doesn't even work right. So.
[00:48:17] Speaker C: Well, have you guys seen the ones that have, have like triple the length, like little tines on the splash pad? You know what I'm talking about? It's like instead of like a quarter of an inch, it's literally like three inches long.
[00:48:29] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:48:30] Speaker C: And it doesn't backsplash on you if you have.
[00:48:32] Speaker B: So we need the long time somebody's.
[00:48:33] Speaker A: Figured it out, has the answer.
[00:48:36] Speaker C: I saw him in Nashville and I was blown away.
[00:48:40] Speaker A: I was blown away.
[00:48:40] Speaker C: By the time I was really impressed. I. I went pee as much as I could down.
[00:48:46] Speaker B: And Bo, I know one of your other questions when it comes to urinals is how does the pubic hair get on top of the urinal?
[00:48:52] Speaker C: Who the hell is ripping it out and sending it and setting it on top of the urinal?
[00:48:56] Speaker B: I knew that was coming.
[00:48:58] Speaker C: I, I heard that in a stand up. I couldn't stop laughing. Whoever. I don't know who the dude was that made the joke, but it was a great joke.
[00:49:04] Speaker A: It is, it is curious though.
[00:49:05] Speaker B: And you've said that you've, you've been saying that joke about that at least, at least 15 years.
[00:49:11] Speaker C: Yeah, it was at the funny stop in Cuyahoga Falls Fair.
[00:49:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:49:15] Speaker A: More.
[00:49:16] Speaker B: What else?
[00:49:16] Speaker A: More importantly, sitting down.
And you don't think about this. Don't get me started as often at home because you're on your own toilet and own toilet seat. So it doesn't really bother you.
[00:49:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Just kind of. It just is what it is. Whatever happens Happens.
[00:49:29] Speaker A: But. But public toilets, you're kind of like, you know, jammed in there.
[00:49:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
[00:49:35] Speaker A: You know, sometimes stuff touches.
[00:49:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, you're talking about, like, in the front.
Yeah.
[00:49:41] Speaker A: All of a sudden there's a cold sensation.
[00:49:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And in all the. The bathrooms in public. Public, you know, you know, in. In your home, it's a ring, right? Yeah. The toilet seat is a ring. So there's like a little bit of a barrier. You got, you got. You got your members touching the smashed.
[00:49:54] Speaker A: Up against the room.
[00:49:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. You're like, okay, but you get to.
[00:49:56] Speaker A: The public toilet, you gotta know this.
[00:49:57] Speaker B: It's an opening.
[00:49:58] Speaker A: It's an opening.
[00:49:59] Speaker B: It's like a horseshoe shape.
[00:50:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:00] Speaker C: It's always dirty.
[00:50:01] Speaker B: But you know what happens, right? It's just every once in a while, you're sitting there, you're just, you know, you're just doing your business in public, and you're like, why is. Why is the tip a little cold?
[00:50:10] Speaker A: Like, I instantly have hepatitis.
[00:50:12] Speaker B: Yeah. And you're like, oh, no, it touched the side of the bowl.
[00:50:16] Speaker A: Like, how have we not.
[00:50:19] Speaker B: Is that what you're going with? Like, is that. Am I the only one this is happening to?
[00:50:22] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying.
[00:50:23] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:50:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Why? Like, how have we not figured this out yet?
[00:50:26] Speaker B: I want my barrier back. Give me a whole seat.
[00:50:29] Speaker C: You might need to make your own barrier with, like, some teepee or something, you know, but like 20, 25.
[00:50:35] Speaker A: Shouldn't we have a better solution than I have to create a personal barrier with tp?
[00:50:39] Speaker B: Yeah. That doesn't make any sense.
[00:50:41] Speaker A: Use an extra toilet seat cover to just shove down in the front to keep the contact off.
[00:50:46] Speaker B: I just.
[00:50:47] Speaker C: Yeah. I don't understand the. The divide there. Why is there. Why is there an opening?
[00:50:51] Speaker A: I guess, internationally, in a lot of places, you do the stand up and squat. Like, you don't have a toilet bowl at all. So maybe that's the answer. We're just. We're coddled here in the States.
[00:50:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
I don't know.
[00:51:01] Speaker A: You ever seen those toilets, like, in India and Asia?
[00:51:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:04] Speaker A: You just, like, you squat over, like, a hole in, like, a small, shallow bowl.
[00:51:08] Speaker B: The closest thing they have in the center states to. To something like that is. Is you go to airport sometimes and you see the thing where you push the button and it's the automatic. Like, Like, I like those. But you know what. What else is the difference there? It's a complete ring.
It's not like. Yeah. Not only do you get the plastic going around the. The seat, but you also get your barrier that we're asking for.
[00:51:29] Speaker A: Yeah, that's an ingenious design, by the way. More.
[00:51:33] Speaker B: More places should do that. That should be. You know, I'm not for government regulation, but this is one instance where that should be required in public restrooms.
[00:51:41] Speaker A: Protective cover. Yeah.
[00:51:43] Speaker B: You talk about spreading, you know, like, like covet and stuff. Like, this is how it happens. Everybody's dick touching the bowl.
Am I wrong?
[00:51:55] Speaker A: What is happening?
[00:51:57] Speaker C: I think your biggest concern is. Is the biggest concern is the opening. You know, the pee hole. Did it to touch. Because I feel like that's the more sensitive tissue on the inside there, which. That would be instant hepatitis.
[00:52:10] Speaker A: Are you talking about a urethra?
[00:52:11] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:52:12] Speaker A: The sexual hole.
[00:52:13] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:52:13] Speaker A: Touching the bowl.
[00:52:14] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:52:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:15] Speaker C: That's just disgusting.
[00:52:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Germs in, germs out.
[00:52:18] Speaker C: I'm crying because that probably has some type of mucous membrane inside.
Immediately absorbing. Oh, it's immediately absorbing whatever's on that toilet.
[00:52:28] Speaker B: What is happening?
Oh, my God. I'm as red as the screen back here.
[00:52:33] Speaker A: I mean, just think about all the pee too, that's just splashed in and on.
[00:52:36] Speaker B: So disgusting.
Like, literally, like, when it happens, you're just like devastated immediately.
[00:52:44] Speaker A: Like, you're almost like.
[00:52:45] Speaker B: Like it's dumb. And dumber when he's like.
[00:52:51] Speaker A: Like, how many other dongs has my dong now touched?
[00:52:54] Speaker B: Oh, man, there's another discussion. So if your dong touches the bull, at what?
[00:53:01] Speaker A: Like, is that any different than all of us just matching our dogs together?
[00:53:06] Speaker B: You know, who's to say?
[00:53:08] Speaker A: I mean, the thousands and thousands of dongs on that bowl.
[00:53:11] Speaker B: I mean, I think we're getting to some serious questions here on the show, you know. Yeah, this is a good way to start season.
[00:53:19] Speaker A: I don't know what's happening. We should go to the next thing.
[00:53:22] Speaker B: Let's all take a quick cleansing. Break breath.
[00:53:25] Speaker A: They need to cleanse the toilet.
[00:53:29] Speaker B: All right, it's time for King of the North.
[00:53:39] Speaker A: Can't believe phone went with urethra. He said urethra.
[00:53:42] Speaker B: Well, you said.
[00:53:43] Speaker A: He said the hole.
[00:53:44] Speaker B: The hole.
King of the North. In case anyone doesn't know by now, this is our year long AFC north pick them competition.
[00:53:52] Speaker A: It is.
[00:53:52] Speaker B: At the end of the season, whoever comes in last place gets punished.
[00:53:56] Speaker A: Okay, here we go.
[00:53:59] Speaker B: In the preseason two years ago, Kenny had a gross of eggs thrown at him by fans in the muni lot before a game. We did in the preseason last year, Kenny had his head and beard shaved clean off.
[00:54:10] Speaker A: My head shaved off.
[00:54:13] Speaker B: His head of hair and beard shaved clean Off. I really.
Yeah, There's a lot of hair. You donated to some. Nice job, buddy.
[00:54:20] Speaker A: Yeah, you're welcome.
[00:54:23] Speaker B: And coming up for losing this past season, Kenny is going to get lit up by John Hughes senior hit style. He's gonna get hit twice by John at least twice. Maybe three times. I don't know. We'll decide.
[00:54:37] Speaker A: My in laws were slightly concerned.
[00:54:39] Speaker B: They were like, wait, just your in laws? Your actual, your actual mother wasn't concerned?
[00:54:43] Speaker A: I didn't tell her yet.
[00:54:46] Speaker B: Good choice.
[00:54:47] Speaker A: My wife was kind of excited. She was like, that's cool. I was like, is it?
[00:54:52] Speaker B: She loves it.
[00:54:54] Speaker A: My in laws were slightly concerned. They were like, you're just going to let Big John hit you?
[00:54:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:54:59] Speaker A: Former NFL player.
[00:55:01] Speaker B: A former NFL defensive tackle.
[00:55:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Not like a little guy. Big guy.
[00:55:04] Speaker B: No, the big guy.
[00:55:05] Speaker A: They call him Big John Hughes.
[00:55:06] Speaker B: His nickname is literally Big John Hughes.
[00:55:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:08] Speaker B: Yeah. He's going to hit you. He's gonna hit you.
[00:55:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:11] Speaker B: To be fair, my wife was actually concerned for you. I told her that this was happening and she said, thanks, wife. She said she was more concerned that you were going to sue me because I, I am a co. Founder and co owner of tapping media with you. And she's like, does he have to sign a waiver or something?
[00:55:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean she, she was like.
[00:55:29] Speaker B: Yeah, he's not, you know, him, his heart might stop.
[00:55:34] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:55:35] Speaker B: So yeah, you know, I'm. If we're only so lucky, Kenn, Excited. That's the main question here.
[00:55:42] Speaker A: I'm growing less excited by the day. But you know who was excited was John Hughes.
He was so excited.
[00:55:49] Speaker B: His exact quote from John Hughes, and I'll never forget it, is he said, I might kill you.
[00:55:55] Speaker A: So he was like, are you sure you want me to hit you multiple times?
[00:55:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm excited. Let's go ahead and get into this. First thing is, first I want to remind everyone that Bone is the reigning defending King of the North.
Second reminder, John Hughes, who will be hitting you. Big John is also joining King of the north this year, so you will hear his picks with us every week.
[00:56:19] Speaker A: Well, except for this week. Big John had a last minute personal emergency.
Wouldn't. Wasn't able to join us. He did send in his picks, so we will post those on a placard on the video version here at the end of the segment so everyone can see John's picks as well. But should be back with us next week. He may or may not disclose exactly what, what happened, but Big John is fine, everything's great.
And we look forward to having him join the show very soon.
[00:56:49] Speaker B: Which leads me to my final reminder. Kenny, as always, is a clown.
And so let's go ahead and get into this week's games.
[00:56:57] Speaker A: Are we gonna announce we've decided on this year's punishment?
[00:57:02] Speaker B: Oh, we did decide on this year's punishment. Yes. Before we get into the actual. Picks the punishment. The. Go ahead. I'll let you say it was your idea.
[00:57:10] Speaker A: Well, the loser of King of the north this year, whoever comes in last place, hopefully will be big John Hughes.
[00:57:15] Speaker B: I hope it's you.
[00:57:18] Speaker A: We'll be getting a full authentic Brazilian wax.
[00:57:25] Speaker B: Oh, no.
Just.
[00:57:28] Speaker A: Just.
[00:57:29] Speaker B: I cringe just, like, thinking about it. Just.
[00:57:31] Speaker A: But to nut totally smooth like when you came out of the womb.
I hear it lasts several weeks, so.
[00:57:40] Speaker B: Bo, your wife will enjoy this.
[00:57:43] Speaker C: I'm not losing.
[00:57:46] Speaker A: And of course, we will videotape that whole thing happening, so. Should be a lot of fun.
[00:57:49] Speaker B: I don't know if that's going to be fun.
[00:57:52] Speaker A: The Brazilian wax.
[00:57:53] Speaker B: I don't. I don't know.
[00:57:54] Speaker A: The Brazilian wax won't be fun. It will be fun afterward when you're smooth like a baby.
[00:57:59] Speaker B: Ah, that's true. Yeah.
[00:58:00] Speaker A: For weeks.
[00:58:00] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you will be.
[00:58:02] Speaker A: I mean, it might also be emasculating.
[00:58:05] Speaker B: It's going to be you.
[00:58:05] Speaker A: It will also be emasculating to let some broad into your taint.
[00:58:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:58:10] Speaker A: To just go in there and just start ripping hair.
[00:58:13] Speaker B: Better start thinking about it. Now.
Let's go ahead and get into this week's game.
[00:58:17] Speaker A: Should be very professional.
[00:58:19] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. We're going to pick the most professional person.
[00:58:22] Speaker A: We won't be professional about it.
[00:58:24] Speaker B: No, no, no. You think John Hughes is.
We'll ask him.
[00:58:27] Speaker A: Don't catch a dingleberry.
[00:58:28] Speaker B: Yeah, we're gonna ask John Hughes if his barbershop will do this for us.
King's culture. See if. See if it does it for us. Anyways, not an advertisement. Let's. No, let's go ahead and get in this week's games.
First up, the Ravens travel to New York to take on the Buffalo Bills.
Kenny, who you got?
[00:58:49] Speaker A: This is the most interesting of the asmr. That's why I'm starting with you this week. Sunday night, I believe. So it's going to be a fun matchup for.
[00:58:55] Speaker B: Sure. Sure.
[00:58:59] Speaker A: I. I think. I mean, the Ravens are obviously very good, and so are the Buffalo Bills.
For whatever reason, I have it in my head that Buffalo sometimes takes a game or two to kind of get things going early in the season. I'm going to go Buffalo. Losing this game to the Ravens early on. I'll go Baltimore.
[00:59:20] Speaker B: Nice.
Okay, Bone, who you got?
[00:59:24] Speaker C: All right, well, I know this is. I can't wait for this game, but I just. I just feel like they're evenly matched, and I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like it's either going to be.
[00:59:35] Speaker A: You got to decide, Bone. That's the game.
[00:59:38] Speaker B: Of the game.
I don't.
[00:59:41] Speaker C: I'm going Buffalo. I'm going Bills at home.
[00:59:44] Speaker A: You're going to get your taint shaved.
[00:59:49] Speaker B: I'm.
Guys, I'm. I'm.
I'm with Bone. I don't know who to pick here.
[00:59:56] Speaker A: You gotta pick one.
[00:59:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
I'm really mad that Kenny picked the way he did because that's. That's the way I want to go with this now. I'm going to stick to it. I'm going to go with the Ravens in this one. I just think that the Ravens, typically, they stay kind of here the entire season, every season. Like, they'll lose a game every so often, but they stay up here.
[01:00:15] Speaker A: That's why they don't win in the playoffs. They're always on one level. Very good.
[01:00:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:00:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:00:20] Speaker B: I'm with you, Buffalo. The last few seasons, it seems like they peak at the end of the season, not at the beginning. So I'm going with the Ravens in this one. I think they're going to pick them off on the road.
Next up, we got Pittsburgh. They also traveled to New York, but they will be taking on the New York Jets.
Bone, who you got?
[01:00:39] Speaker C: I'm going to go Pittsburgh.
[01:00:42] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:00:43] Speaker C: Yeah.
I don't know. I think Aaron Rodgers is gonna have a good game.
[01:00:48] Speaker A: Bones, Like, I've never played this before. What are we doing here?
[01:00:51] Speaker B: What is this game?
[01:00:52] Speaker C: Do I need to elaborate just a little?
[01:00:55] Speaker B: I mean, any commentary, you don't have to.
[01:00:57] Speaker A: You can just pick. It's fine.
[01:00:58] Speaker B: I think the rest of the season, that's gonna be how I do my picks. I'm going Steven, Cincinnati, Cleveland. That's it.
I'm gonna agree with you. I'm going to go Steelers in this one. Kenny, who you got?
[01:01:09] Speaker A: The jets are trash. They're still trash. I'll go Steelers.
[01:01:14] Speaker B: And then finally, guys, you know the reason we're here?
[01:01:19] Speaker A: The Battle of Ohio.
[01:01:20] Speaker B: Yeah. The Browns host Cincinnati in the first installment of the 2025 Battle of Ohio.
I'll start this one off. I've got the Browns winning this one.
I think it's gonna be a high scoring Game going with the over. Yeah. I'm going.
[01:01:35] Speaker A: Not betting advice.
[01:01:36] Speaker B: I'm going with the over. That's not betting advice. Don't use my betting. Not betting advice. It's not advice at all.
[01:01:40] Speaker A: No.
[01:01:41] Speaker B: I'm gonna go with the browns in this one, and I'm gonna say, what do we average last year? 15 point, 2.2. I'm gonna go with the Browns scoring 30.4 now. I'm gonna go 3127.
[01:01:57] Speaker A: Browns. I like, pick a score that can't actually be used in the tiebreaker. Go with that.
[01:02:01] Speaker B: I'm going 3127. Browns at home. Kenny, who you got?
[01:02:06] Speaker A: I'm gonna go browns as well. I think the.
[01:02:11] Speaker B: Not good. I picked all the same things as Kenny.
[01:02:13] Speaker A: The benefit of just the early season excitement, being at home, crowd, fans in the game. And you know, Joe Flacco is. Is as young as he's going to be all season right now.
[01:02:23] Speaker B: You're not wrong.
[01:02:23] Speaker C: That's a great point.
[01:02:25] Speaker B: True.
[01:02:26] Speaker A: I'm going Browns 3027, baby.
[01:02:29] Speaker B: Okay. All right. And that takes us to bone.
You got this one out.
[01:02:33] Speaker C: You know, I'm going Browns.
Browns go 27, 24.
[01:02:43] Speaker B: Nice. I like it.
[01:02:44] Speaker A: Bone and I both have Andre Schmidt winning the game for the browns.
[01:02:50] Speaker B: Nice.
I like it. I like it. And his first. That'd be awesome.
[01:02:57] Speaker C: For himself.
[01:02:57] Speaker B: Didn't Dustin Hopkins, like, early on hit some really big game winners like Dustin.
[01:03:01] Speaker A: Huge kicks from, like 55 yards beyond.
[01:03:04] Speaker B: Like, is this gonna be a. A repeat of what's his name before him before for Dustin Hopkins?
Kate York. Kate York, in his very first game, hit a game winner.
[01:03:14] Speaker A: Yeah. That was the Baker game.
[01:03:16] Speaker B: And then he had a decent first half of that season and a terrible second half and a terrible rest of his career.
[01:03:21] Speaker A: K. York has a big leg. He just couldn't handle it.
[01:03:24] Speaker B: Big leg. Is that another extends joke? Yeah.
[01:03:26] Speaker A: So girthy.
[01:03:56] Speaker B: All right, so with that, let me remind you to call the burning river sportscast.
Don't forget to call and leave your hot takes on the hot take hotline. Once again, we've got a new number that's not nearly as cool as it once was. Thanks again, Kenny. Appreciate it.
[01:04:09] Speaker A: Cool.
[01:04:10] Speaker B: Thanks for getting us frauded. Remember, these are hot takes. We want hot takes. We want hot takes. We want hot takes. We want hot takes. 3-30-2278-0813-3022-7808-1330, 2278-0813-3022-7881 and be sure to check out our gear at www.thetapinmedio.com backslash shop. You can get your Cincinnati is in Kentucky T shirts on there and then and your number 144 tickets shirts. T shirts. He's not playing yet. That'll be more relevant later.
[01:04:44] Speaker A: It's still relevant.
[01:04:45] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, he's on the team. Real quick before we close the thing out, please follow us on social media, subscribe on YouTube and most importantly leave a review on your preferred podcast platform. Reviews are the best thing you can do to help our podcast grow and we want to continue to grow. So we continue doing sweet dope ass things for you guys, right?
[01:05:03] Speaker A: Is that another extends joke?
[01:05:06] Speaker B: Continue to grow?
Yeah, absolutely.
Just, just go out there, leave, leave a review and we'll keep bringing you the best damn Cleveland Browns pod in the land. But that'll do it for us. Kenny, what can we expect expect next week.
[01:05:21] Speaker A: Next week, Next week, Next week. Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. We will be live Sunday night recapping the game myself Ronnie Jams. Just doing the thing.
[01:05:30] Speaker B: Just doing the thing.
[01:05:31] Speaker A: We will recap the week one matchup against Kentucky should be on right around probably 8pm 8ish. We're usually between 8 and 8:15.
[01:05:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:05:42] Speaker A: Give us some grace. It's the first live show of the season so sometimes we have some technical.
[01:05:45] Speaker B: Also forgot I have a new kid so you know, it might be a little bit later.
[01:05:49] Speaker A: It'll be when we get on.
[01:05:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:05:50] Speaker A: But you'll see those alerts hit social media when we do go live. So please join next Thursday. We'll be back with the week two preview of the first away game of the season as the Browns make the trip out to Baltimore.
Crab cakes and football. That's what Maryland does.
So new Browns visit the old Browns and obviously another Brown backers interview.
[01:06:13] Speaker B: And don't forget to check us out on social media. Tap me is on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram at the Tap Media and Burning River Sportscast. That's this podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, tik tok and YouTube at Burning River Sportscast and on X at Burning River Pod. You can find our podcast wherever you get your podcast. Talking Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube Music, Amazon Music, Stitcher, Pandora, I heart radio podcast, Castro Good pods. We're number one ranked football podcast and so many more. And once again leave us a review. Review or we'll fight you. We won't. But leave us a review please.
Kenny, you know what that takes you. You know, you know what it's time for.
[01:06:42] Speaker A: What's it time for facts for days.
[01:06:57] Speaker B: What do you got for us?
[01:07:00] Speaker A: So I got a little little different facts for today.
It was a long off season.
During the off season I was reading a lot about the old timey west. Okay, so I've got some like facts.
[01:07:11] Speaker B: Wouldn't have had that on my bingo.
[01:07:13] Speaker A: Board, but on my mega board, some old timey facts. Really kind of like stories that go along with the facts. So number one, this is when your corpse is a more interesting life than you.
In 1911, Elmer McCurdy thought he was robbing a train carrying a boatload of cash. Turned out to be a passenger vehicle.
The failed bandit made off with just $46.
[01:07:42] Speaker B: That's a bad job out of him.
[01:07:43] Speaker A: Authorities shot and killed him on site.
[01:07:45] Speaker B: Dead.
[01:07:46] Speaker A: Dead. His embalmed corpse went unclaimed and was eventually sold to a traveling carnival as a sideshow exhibit. For more than 60 years. Several wax museums and haunted houses used him to as a prop. Eventually made his way to a Long Beach, California amusement park funhouse used as a backdrop for the television show the Six Million Dollar Man.
[01:08:05] Speaker B: That begs the question, did they know that it was an embalmed body?
[01:08:09] Speaker A: At some point during the production, a finger or arm, depending on who's telling the story, fell off, revealing human tissue that when tested, revealed it was indeed good old Elmer McCurdy who was finally there. Then laid to rest after 66 years on the circuit in the famous Boot Hill Cemetery in Dodge City, Kansas.
Didn't make it as an outlaw, but he was a great prop.
[01:08:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[01:08:38] Speaker A: Yeah, imagine that.
[01:08:40] Speaker B: Number two, you're really coming in hot with the facts this year. That was a banger to start.
[01:08:45] Speaker A: Number two, you think that was good? What? Do you hear this?
[01:08:48] Speaker B: It really extended his life. Yeah, extended.
[01:08:52] Speaker A: Was that another penis joke? Yeah, it was a urethra joke.
[01:08:57] Speaker B: Ah, just imagine when they're moving him around. It was a real penis. Yeah. Anyways, number two, feral camels what.
[01:09:09] Speaker A: Once roamed the plains of Texas.
[01:09:12] Speaker B: That's right.
Wait a sec.
[01:09:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:09:17] Speaker B: What is happening on the native species?
[01:09:20] Speaker A: No.
[01:09:23] Speaker B: You wish.
[01:09:24] Speaker A: You wish you thought the Space Force was a wacky idea.
[01:09:30] Speaker B: I did. Yeah.
[01:09:34] Speaker A: Given the arid landscape of the Southwest was similar to the deserts of Egypt, the US army imported 66 camels from the Middle east, least creating the US Camel Corps. They spit, they puke, and they listen to no one.
Despite the vocalized success of the Camel Corps, the U.S. civil War put a stop to exploration on the frontier. And the Confederate army captured Cap Verde. And the camels were eventually sold off. To bidders like the circus. Many of them just escaped. And they hung out in the plains of texas and died. The feral camels were last seen in the area area up until the 1940s. And it's widely assumed that there are no living descendants of the u. S. Camel corps left today.
[01:10:20] Speaker B: Dang. The end of that story reminded me of.
We put them in a. We just let them roam free. And they died.
[01:10:26] Speaker A: They died.
It was just crazy.
[01:10:28] Speaker B: We're trying things like that.
[01:10:29] Speaker A: Green camels to the u. S. Baby.
[01:10:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[01:10:35] Speaker A: Good old army.
[01:10:35] Speaker B: This is one of the better facts for days I've ever heard.
[01:10:37] Speaker C: That was a good one.
[01:10:38] Speaker A: Number three, when executions go wrong.
[01:10:42] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[01:10:43] Speaker A: Tom ketchum. Tom blackjack ketchum, that is, was a no goody, dirty rotten, no goody, no good, dirty rotten, thieving, murdering cowboy Once mistaken for an elbow christian blackjack. So he went on to assume the name blackjack. Tom blackjack ketchum finally captured, tried and sentenced to hanging for a train robbery. When his execution did not go as planned after all, he was the only person ever sentenced to hanging in union county, new mexico. Mexico. They didn't have much experience in the matter.
During his capture, he was shot in the arm and later had to have it amputated. A combination of his weight, the imbalance of the missing arm and a rope far too long to be used in a hanging used by the executioner Led to the now infamous account that baffled and dismayed the crowd in attendance. His last words were, goodbye, Please dig my grave very deep. All right, hurry up.
The sheriff cut the rope with a hatchet and he fell through the trap door and was instantly decapitated.
[01:11:40] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[01:11:41] Speaker A: In gruesome fashion.
And everyone made this face as the body landed on its feet, Swayed gently for a moment as blood spurted from his neck before both his body and head rolled onto the ground.
[01:11:56] Speaker B: That is graphic.
Wow, it's not halloween yet.
I mean, now it is, I guess. Nightmares for days.
[01:12:04] Speaker A: It's a little like in the green mile when they fried that guy. And then the warden came in all upset and he was like, what the hell happened out there? And tom hanks was like, man was sentenced to be put to death, and we put him to death.
It was a successful execution.
[01:12:20] Speaker B: What in the world?
[01:12:22] Speaker A: Popped his head right off.
And that was the end of tom blackjack ketchum feels bad.
And that, my friends, is facts for days.
[01:12:32] Speaker C: Nice work. Nice work.
[01:12:34] Speaker B: Well done, sir. Well done. I don't usually respect you, and I still don't, but that Was pretty cool. Yeah.
[01:12:40] Speaker A: Old timey West Facts.
[01:12:41] Speaker B: Yeah, we might have. Those aren't as good as whale facts, but they're pretty close.
You gotta. You better bring those back into.
You know.
[01:12:50] Speaker A: They'll make a comeback somewhere.
[01:12:51] Speaker B: Bone. Do you like those Facts?
[01:12:53] Speaker C: Oh, I love them. Yeah, I couldn't wait. All off season. I just been waiting for that segment.
[01:12:57] Speaker B: That was good.
[01:12:59] Speaker A: Glad it didn't disappoint.
[01:13:01] Speaker B: I don't know what to say right now.
[01:13:03] Speaker C: Is it.
Is it time to go to bed?
[01:13:08] Speaker B: I don't know. Usually like me, you know.
[01:13:10] Speaker C: Well, I might head out.
[01:13:14] Speaker A: Pretty tired.
[01:13:14] Speaker C: Well, bonus appetite.
[01:13:15] Speaker B: Okay.
[01:13:18] Speaker A: Don't just be a part of the problem. Be the whole damn problem. Week one. Go rounds.
[01:13:22] Speaker B: And only you can prevent river fires. Burning river sports.
[01:13:28] Speaker A: Burning rivers.
Burning river.
[01:13:32] Speaker B: Good night, Cleveland.
[01:13:34] Speaker A: No songs, no nothing.
[01:13:35] Speaker B: Just, oh, I get knocked down. But I get up again and we got a kid. Keep me down. I get knocked down when I get up again. You never gotta keep me down. I get knocked down.
[01:13:46] Speaker A: I've never sung this song before.
Is that another penis joke?
[01:13:52] Speaker B: Good night, Cleveland.
[01:13:54] Speaker C: Good night, Akron.
[01:13:55] Speaker B: Quiet on set. I now have two loves in my life.
Big city living and a voodoo woman named Phyllis. I didn't think we'd be getting into Brad Pitts.
[01:14:08] Speaker A: I can't even say I didn't think we'd be getting into Brad Pitt's ass.
[01:14:12] Speaker B: Yeah, didn't think we'd get in there.
[01:14:15] Speaker A: We talk a lot of analingus on this show.
[01:14:17] Speaker B: So put your right foot in and take your right foot out. Then put your right foot in and shut the hell up. Because it's not time for the hokey pokey. It's time for the burning river Sports Cat. Motorboat. You play the motorboat.
You motor po.
[01:14:32] Speaker A: Son of a. You old seal. Are you. You know, I was thinking during that interview.
[01:14:36] Speaker B: What? What were you think? Nothing. Cuz you don't have thoughts, cuz you're a brainless idiot.
[01:14:40] Speaker A: Wow.
[01:14:41] Speaker B: My name is Uhtred. Son of Uhtred, by the way. I want my foreskin back. It doesn't matter what you think.
[01:14:48] Speaker A: Women's Guide to. To Anal Sex and it was the second edition. Who makes that second edition?
[01:14:54] Speaker C: The weather outside is weather.
[01:14:56] Speaker B: The other one. The finger. The finger. Finger. Eating food. Fingers. Oh, my God. My ass is full of.
[01:15:03] Speaker A: Everywhere.
[01:15:04] Speaker C: Yes.
[01:15:05] Speaker A: Ejaculate all over my body and my genitals.
[01:15:07] Speaker C: Yes.
[01:15:07] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[01:15:09] Speaker A: We suck again.
[01:15:10] Speaker C: You don't need fundamentals when you got heart.
[01:15:13] Speaker A: And Jesus.
[01:15:14] Speaker B: And Jesus.
[01:15:15] Speaker C: That's right.
[01:15:16] Speaker B: Touchdown. Anyway, what do you mean Funny.
[01:15:18] Speaker A: Funny how? How am I funny?
[01:15:19] Speaker B: It's going down. I'm yelling.
[01:15:22] Speaker A: Timber.
[01:15:24] Speaker B: Godamn. Should we start a meat podcast? Like, like, like, like the meat pod Slow roasted.
[01:15:33] Speaker A: The leads are weak.
[01:15:35] Speaker B: Leads are weak.
Leads are weak.
[01:15:39] Speaker A: That we should send a team of oil core drillers a la Armageddon to Mars to have them access the newly discovered reservoirs of water traps 7 to 12 miles under the surface that when released, will cover the entirety of everything on a planet less than a mile high.
[01:15:48] Speaker B: All I just do is win, win, win, no matter what.
[01:15:51] Speaker A: Erroneous.
[01:15:52] Speaker B: Erroneous on both counts. Oh, Lord. I mean, when I. Last year, when I won and went home, you know, my wife's pants hit the ground.
[01:15:58] Speaker A: Wow.
[01:15:59] Speaker B: But damn.
[01:16:00] Speaker A: I'm sorry I hijacked your segment for a second to do some good podcasting.
[01:16:05] Speaker B: You know why, mister? Because you drove a Hyundai. To get here tonight, I drove an $80,000 BMW.
[01:16:12] Speaker A: That's my name.
[01:16:13] Speaker B: I think we've officially lost all of our more conservative viewers, so I don't think they want to listen any longer.
[01:16:21] Speaker C: It's Mother Nature.
[01:16:22] Speaker B: I live my life a quarter mile at a time.
[01:16:24] Speaker A: Where's logo girl when you need her?
[01:16:26] Speaker B: I desperately want to make love to cheese girl.
[01:16:28] Speaker A: We need cheese girl now. Down, go Sanderson. Down, go Sanderson. Who's canceled now?
Who's canceled now?
[01:16:36] Speaker B: Probably me.
[01:16:37] Speaker A: You making it for the fat people.
[01:16:39] Speaker B: I'm not just you.
[01:16:41] Speaker A: We're a whole race basically.
[01:16:45] Speaker B: No way. You're just straight. Just finger bang their salad.
[01:16:50] Speaker C: You first get shocked and then you get the shocker.
[01:16:56] Speaker A: You like to see almost naked.
[01:16:57] Speaker B: That's cool, man. Whatever. No, no, no, no, no. Most people like they're driving along and they're like in between meals, like, I'm a little hungry. I'm gonna have a granola bar. And he's like, I need a cheeseburger.
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
[01:17:13] Speaker A: This is not why you were here.
[01:17:28] Speaker B: Today's episode was brought to you by Topath Vodka. Topath Vodka, an award winning ultra premium, extremely smooth, high quality vodka six times distilled and made from Midwest corn and Ohio fruit. Clean and crisp. A truly high quality spirit. Made right here in Northeast Ohio. Available locally in Northeast Ohio and online in 46 states. Topath Vodka.
